People Are Avoidant About These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories
24. AITJ For Telling My Sibling To Leave My Dog Alone And Interact With Their Own?
“When I was 13, my sibling, who we will call Alex, who was about 11, begged our mother for a puppy, and after doing what they were told for a month, she gave them the “Puppies are not just toys, they’re living creatures” talk. Our father then told us how a friend of his had just had a litter of puppies with very few left and if they’re not going to homes, he’s putting them in a shelter, so, our mother takes us to see said puppies.
I had one of them, a female, “dominant” of the litter, come up to me while I was sitting on the porch steps and tried to climb my leg. Finding this adorable, I pick her up and she starts giving kisses, I turn to show her to Alex but they already have decided on the “runt”
Our mother spots the dog in my hand and asks me if I wanted her and of course I said yes.
First night in, Alex’s dog, who we’ll call Maggie, is whimpering and whining in her crate, my dog, who we can call Bella, is scratching at her own crate door, so, between the worry of Alex’s temper and my own lack of rest as these two makes noise, I offer to let Maggie stay with Bella for a bit, after all, it’s a new space and they might want to have something familiar with them.
Fast forward about 4 years, I have raised both Maggie and Bella, including taking care of them after they got fixed, Alex rarely comes out of their room to play with the dogs but when they do, they ignore Maggie (She will meet them at the steps, tail wagging, wanting them to interact) and instead go play with my dog.
Mother says I’m being too problematic about this but it angers me to see Maggie greet Alex so happy and then tail stop wagging as Alex walks away.
Alex also doesn’t seem to understand the way I raised Bella.
She has sensitive ears and Alex will mess with her ears.
Bella will be asleep and Alex will wake her to play
Bella will sit there and Alex will randomly force their face on her face and continue when she steps back
Bella is a vocal dog (loves to sing along to certain songs) and Alex will tell her to be quiet.
Bella knows hand and vocal commands but Alex refuses to learn them.
WIBTJ if I told Alex to stop bothering my dog and start interacting with the one that’s supposed to be theirs?”
Another User Comments:
“doesn’t sound like Alex is playing with Bella, but abusing/dominating her.
Maybe your mother and Alex will think of you as a jerk, but you have my blessing to tell Alex to back off. Ywnbtj” Twinmomwineaddict
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, you should go ahead and tell Alex to stop hassling/bullying your dog. It doesn’t sound as if Alex playing with the other dog will necessarily work out well though… feels like they’re both basically your dogs.” SuccessfulLobster771
23. AITJ For Wanting To Call Out A Habitual Complainer In Our Heroclix Game Group?
I (25M) play Heroclix(a tabletop collectible miniatures game primarily featuring Marvel and DC comic book characters) biweekly with around 6-8 other players at our local game store.
I’m relatively new to the game compared to a good chunk of the players, as three of them have been playing consistently for over 20 years, but I’ve fallen in love with the game and I’ve been preparing to go to my first major event at the beginning of next year.
This other player(20sM) though is starting to really grate my nerves. This player(Joe) is a habitual complainer. At least once every week we play, he’s loudly complaining about something, whether it be that WizKids doesn’t produce more DC Comics sets, figures he doesn’t like, if he loses in a way he thinks is unfair, if it’s not one thing it’s another.
Some of the other players have mentioned they find his behavior annoying as well.
My personal worst experience playing him happened back in February: I was playing a team built around a Martian Manhunter that can keep enemies from taking actions and can’t be attacked until he makes an attack first. His team was built around a Batman/Superman figure that was at the time going for around $200 on secondary market and could have wiped out most if not any of the figures on my team in one or two attacks each.
I managed to run my Martian Manhunter up on his World’s Finest figure and lock it down for most of the game, and this has apparently been cause for him calling the figure “unfair” and “one of the most broken things in the game” in a game chock full of broken figures and strategies.
I didn’t even win that game by a very large margin. Even when he wins, he complains.
Recently, however, what’s been frustrating me is him scooping out of games on turn one. It hasn’t happened while I’ve played him(yet), but twice in recent months Joe was set to fight a player who had a team he personally deemed unfair.
Turn one or turn two in both games he threw his hands up and quit, but then wouldn’t stop loudly complaining the rest of the night about how unfair it was and that he “literally couldn’t win.” It’s aggravating, especially when the team *is* beatable(I beat the second team he scooped against) and he just didn’t even put the effort behind it.
Will I be the jerk if, next time he starts complaining, I tell him it’s a skill issue and that him making his frustration everyone else’s problem is damaging the play experience for all of us?
Another User Comments:
“LOL NTJ I’m surprised nobody else has told him off yet it just ruins it for everyone.
You should convince everyone there to not play against him until his attitude improves” MrChaddious
22. AITJ For Asking My Sister To Pay Half The Vet Bill After Her Mistake Led To My Dog's Injury?
“I (22f) live in a rented house with my sister (20f.) We normally get along very well, so this dispute is out of character for us. There is ONE rule in our household that everyone, resident or guest, is made aware of: do not let my dog out the front door.
We live on a busy street, and my dog is a breed that doesn’t learn recall very accurately and is known to roam (a Pyrenees.) When she gets out, she runs, and it’s very hard to get her back. I’ve worked on this with her for 5 years and have never gotten to a point where I am comfortable with her being untethered. She has a fenced yard in the back to run around in, and we use a system of multiple baby gates to prevent her from even being near the front door.
Well, my sister messed up. She left all the gates open and left the front door open to fetch something, and my dog escaped. I know this was an accident, but I’m still upset. We found my pup the same day, but she’d been hit by a car and had a broken leg, which we needed to take her in to get treated. It ran up a pretty substantial bill (several thousand.) I asked my sister if she could pitch in and pay at least half the bills since it was her mistake that led to my dog escaping, and she refused. She said it’s expensive and she doesn’t want to spend her savings (she’s been saving up to go on vacation this summer) and that I have enough money to cover it all myself (which I do, but that’s not the point.
It’s the principle IMO, why should I have to pay the full amount for a mistake I actively spend time every day trying to PREVENT from happening?)
We are at an impasse now. I think she should be paying, and if the roles were reversed I would have OFFERED to pay for my mistake immediately.
She thinks she deserves to keep her money and that I took on this “risk” by owning a dog. I argue that I actually spend significant time on mitigating these risks only for her carelessness to bypass all my planning. AITJ for asking her to pay part of this bill?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, she should be paying for all/most of it. The dog’s leg is still broken, you still have vet bills that were entirely preventable, if not for her careless actions. The vacation she’s been saving for has no relationship with your dog’s broken leg, except for the fact that she *does* have the money to make it right and doesn’t want to be an adult about it.” Marble_Narwhal
Another User Comments:
“NTJ at all. Yes, it is your dog, but it was her mistake, and she needs to pay for it. You’re not even asking for the full amount, just at least half. I would’ve offered up maybe payment plans with a written agreement/contract so she could still go on vacation, but the fact she doesn’t even seem remorseful about what happened??
Your sister is certainly the jerk in the situation. I’m so sorry for what happened to your dog and I hope they have an easy recovery!” ARatherLargeMoth
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – threaten small claims court to get the message across that her vacation fund is now your dog’s vet fund for her carelessness.
She’s an adult and needs to be held accountable as an adult. Do not let her walk all over you. She knew the rules and just because she was going to be in and out for just a little bit, does NOT change the rules.
She knew. She is responsible.” slap-a-frap
21. AITJ For Potentially Causing My Dad And Stepmom To Break Up?
“I 15(f) do not have a good relationship with my stepmom 36(f). For some backstory. She goes out of her way to be rude to me for example, she has made fun of my weight to the point where I would stop eating. She has also hidden food from me so I would have to eat less (and so much more ).
She has a weird relationship with my brother 14(m). She acts like an emotional overbearing mom to him ( she is also his stepmom ). My dad and I have a good relationship and my stepmom seems to be jealous of that. My dad and stepmom have been fighting a lot here recently ( I also feel like it’s important to add that my brother and I live with my mom ).
Two of the arguments that I have heard were about me. The first was about when I found a balloon in a junk drawer and I asked my dad if I could have it he told me yes, so the next day my brother asked if he could have it so I told him yes which lead to my stepmom asking where I got it from so I told her where I found it.
This led to her yelling at me for not asking her for permission to have it, so my dad started to yell at her to leave me and that he said I could have it. The second argument was over how much money my dad was giving me for doing yard work, so I could go to my first ever concert.
So basically my stepmom asked my dad how much he was going to give me, my dad told her he doesn’t know yet, and so she said that he needs to tell her before he gives me the money so she can decide if I deserve that much or not.
This led to my dad saying that it’s his money and he can give me however much he wants to. Due to the arguments. My stepmom has been rude or passive aggressive towards me. She has either ignored me or if I ask her for something she will throw it at me.
I have been going out of my way to be nice to her and she still treats me horribly. I feel bad because my dad and stepmom have been together for 15 years. So I want to know am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – the relationship between your dad and your stepmum is between them.
Their arguing is not because of you clearly there are some issues in their relationship already, if they’re unable to communicate without yelling. Is your dad fully aware of how your stepmom treats you and your issues with food? If not, tell him you need at least one adult in the household to be aware of the impact is having on you.
Was your mum pregnant with your brother when they got together?” kezzarla
Another User Comments:
“You will not be at fault if your father and stepmother decide to separate. It sounds like they are having many problems between them. Too many children believe that if they had been nicer or better behaved, their parents would not have separated. That is simply not true.
Marriages fall apart because the adults cannot solve their conflicts. Do not blame yourself because it is not because of you, it’s because of them. NTJ at all.” Independent-Work5275
20. AITJ For Hiring People To Do My Chores Instead Of Doing Them Myself?
“I M42 work out of town. I work 14 days in a row for 12 hours a day.
On the last day, I actually only worked 6 but they pay us for the full day on the day we fly home. I earn pretty good money and I like to enjoy my days off. My wif,e 32 on the other hand, is a teacher.
And for whatever reason she feels the need to stay busy.
Before we got married, I had a cleaning lady and I had a meal prep service for the days I didn’t just eat out. I would also take a mini vacation every other week off.
For example, I would fly home Thursday, see my parents on Friday, then go to Vegas until Tuesday, then fly back to work Thursday. When we got married, I tried to keep my cleaning service, but I was convinced it was a waste since she would be home those two weeks and she would keep the house tidy.
I agreed. But it didn’t turn out that way. She would leave some chores for me. Which is fine. Before I started living on my own, I had to do cleaning and cooking, and laundry at my parents’ home. But it started getting worse and worse.
Then we had kids and now it’s even more. My wife chose to stay home with the kids. Which once again is fine. We can afford it, and once both kids are in school next fall she is going back to work. The problem is that my kids are tiny little demons.
They can walk into a clean living room and walk out five minutes later, leaving it a crime scene.
I would be coming home to a mess. No bueno. So I hired a service to clean. ALL THE TIME. Not just for when I’m home.
And I got one of the meal delivery services for three meals a week while I’m gone and four when I’m in town. I cook the other two meals. And I do the dishes. Well I put the dishes in the machine and put them way afterwards.
My wife keeps saying that I should be doing all that work and that I’m kind of a jerk for throwing money at my chores instead of doing them myself. But she also looks less exhausted and is happier. I’m also happier not having to clean up after myself and the three of them.
I still do all the yard work when I’m home, which is minor because my service does the mowing and stuff while I’m gone. So am I the jerk for paying someone to do my chores instead of doing them myself?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ.
If I ever get married, and can afford it, I will be having a similar arrangement. I would rather enjoy my time off with my friends and family.” International_Set522
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Not only are you helping you and your wife have a little bit of ease in your married life, and I would recommend pointing out that she does seem a little bit happier, you’re also helping other people stay employed and have a job.
So maybe explain it to your wife in that way and she will be less annoyed by it” GoreGoddezz
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – I’m a housewife with no kids and I still have a gal that deep cleans my bathrooms, windows, and wash walls down when needed. We actually clean together when she comes…and I have a weekly gardener.
Sometimes it’s easy to overlook things when you’re home all day especially if shes chasing after little ones. I enjoy yard work much more than cleaning my toilets. My husband suggested it…it was weird at first but I appreciate the extra help now. The kiddos need to learn to pick up after themselves too…” _iron_butterfly_
19. AITJ For Sharing My Decision-Making Process With Friends?
“Yesterday I met with a bunch of my high school friends, we ended up talking about how some of them are feeling “stuck” and can’t really figure out what they want to do with themselves. One of the friends in the group asked me how I did it, meaning how I decided so quickly what to study and how I decided to put my mind to it and ended up doing it with seemingly not much hesitation.
After being asked, I thought it would be reasonable to explain my decision-making, and so I did. I explained that after working for almost a year in a part-time job that was getting me to nowhere I realized that I am getting too comfortable with the life I was having at the time, and the thought of continuing in this path made me uncomfortable, so I decided that even if I am not 100% sure that what I am choosing to study is what I actually want, I will do it because I rather decide while moving, instead of waiting to make the perfect decision.
Which I said that I think would be impossible without actually experiencing something. I also explained that as long as I am not making any irrational decision (IE studying something I know for sure that I have no interest in) I believe in this kind of decision-making, and I tried to suggest that perhaps if they feel so much uncertainty, maybe they need a “leap of faith/first push” to start getting things going.
After explaining myself, I seemed to have gotten a few of them somewhat mad, they argued that I am not a life coach, and that I was being irrational because in their opinion such a decision has to be done perfectly and that taking your time and not rushing is justifiable, I agreed and said that such an idea resonates with me, as long as the time being taken to make the decision is not too long, and the decision that has been made was not irrational.
One of the people that were there got noticeably mad at me and kept arguing her position, I understood that I may have been rude for my behavior and took a bit of a passive approach. I gave her the time she needed to speak what was on her mind and didn’t counter argue any further.
Even so, she left early, and I have a feeling it may have been because of what I said, this thought has been bothering me for a while now, so I came here to ask if I should feel bad about what I said.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You were asked a question, you answered and elaborated for them, and you seem like you debated your side in good faith. It’s not on you if someone is upset by it, so long as you were not forcing your opinion on them.
Some people just see things very black and white, and take insult to any position but their own.” mdcsst12
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If they are waiting for a perfect anything they’ll be waiting forever. It doesn’t exist. It’s certainly justifiable to take your time, but it sounds like they are feeling insecure about the future and are just mad that you aren’t.
Edited to add – and by that, I mean that some people tend to get upset (not for a rational reason) when someone is moving forward when they aren’t – they feel like if they are struggling, their peers should be too.” Specific-Succotash-8
Another User Comments:
“I guess that depends on if, when you spoke about your friends, if you sounded judgemental or not. They asked how you made your decision. They didn’t ask you to tell them what to do. You may have hit a nerve or you may have offended some.
You may have made them feel like you look down on their inability to make a forward movement it’s hard to judge without having a transcript of the convo.” sarcastic-pedant
18. AITJ For Not Telling My Dad My Mom Was Home When He Dropped Off My Stuff?
“My mom (43f) and my dad (45m) got a divorce 6 years ago. They’ve never been on good terms, and they were always fighting. Eventually, a year or so after they divorced, my dad found a new wife. After a few years of living in the same area as my mom, my dad thought that she was “too crazy” and would convince me and my brother that she was out to get him and listening to our conversations via spyware.
He was always very paranoid about my mother, and would go to extreme measures to bash her and tell us she’s insane.
My father and his new wife decided that moving to a different state would be the best option for their well-being. At the time, I was only 13, so I could not go with them because I was still in school.
While they were moving out, I lived with my mom primarily. My dad texted me one afternoon while I was at my mom’s, if it would be a good time to drop off some of my stuff from his house. I said yes, and that he could just pull up to the side of the road so he didn’t have to pull into the driveway.
My mom was home, but I asked for permission for this to happen and she agreed, not seeing a problem with it. I did not tell my dad my mother was home because I didn’t think that was important.
Once my dad arrived, I walked outside to go get my things from his car.
My mother walks out behind me but only stays on the deck just to see what I was getting. As I approach the car, my father gives me a dirty look and yells at me for not telling him my mom was gonna be home.
I look surprised and tell him I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. He hands me my stuff and drives off. Later that afternoon he FaceTimes me and tells me I betrayed him by not telling him she was there, and tries to convince me that my mom was screaming and recording him when I know for a fact she was just standing on the deck watching.
I told him he was overreacting and none of that happened. He called me a liar and essentially told me to “reflect”. It’s been 3 years since that incident, and on three separate occasions I have been the one to start conversations and clear things up, but he is no longer interested in talking to me and does not even wish me happy birthday or Merry Christmas anymore.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“Oh honey NTJ. I’m so sorry you were abandoned by your dad. You did nothing wrong. Sometimes adults mess up but sometimes adults are just… messed up. If you can afford therapy, I highly recommend talking this out with a professional so you don’t carry it as heavy as time goes on.
You are lovable and worthy and if your dad doesn’t act like that it’s his fault, not yours.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Your dad sounds mentally unwell. I’m sorry you and your brother have to experience this. You might benefit from some therapy to sort some of this out and your brother might too.
Abandonment by a parent is a lot to deal with at your age. In the meantime, I’m glad you’re safe with your mom.” Ok-Profession-9372
17. AITJ For Wanting To Move In With My Aunt Instead Of My Parents?
“I (17) moved away with my mom (42) when she and my father got a divorce (I was 10 at the time). She started seeing this new guy a year after we moved, and to say the least he’s a TOTAL creep. When I was 11 he insisted on watching me shower to “make sure I’m doing it right.” I wasn’t allowed to wear a bathing suit to cover up either.
He stopped a few years later when I threatened him with the police. He used to threaten my sister and me, my sister attempted to harm herself when I was 14, and ran away from their house to my father’s. He started treating me worse, for example, he grounded me for 2 months for reading.
When I was 16, I moved into my father’s (43) house as well, but my sister had already moved out and in with a partner. My dad was in the military for many years and has bad ptsd so he’s not the most mentally stable and I knew that going into it.
It was fine till he broke up with his ex and stopped buying food, we lived in the country, a half hour drive from any grocery store. He went back and forth with being somewhat stable and then back to being far from stable. He ended up making me move with him into a trailer, a 45 minute drive from town.
I also hadn’t been able to do much school work because I was forced to do online, and he would take my school district computer to use for himself. I have to take a thirteenth/ gap year, whatever you want to call it, because of this.
One night the cops came and took him in because one of his ex’s called them on him. I went to my aunt’s for two weeks, I am now staying at my grandparents for the summer, and I have to decide where I’m going to live for my last year of high school.
My father is begging me to move back, but he would have to drive me into school every day. My mom also wants me to go back, but her partner is still there(she is and was aware of everything that happened. My auntie offered me the spare bedroom at her house, and for me to go to school with my 3 cousins (all around my age)
Both sides of my family are saying I’m a jerk for not giving them a “second” chance.
So, am I the jerk for wanting to move into my aunt’s?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ I understand this is a very difficult situation and It sounds like you’ve been through a lot with both your parents.
However, wanting safety and stability does not make you a jerk. You deserve to feel safe and focus on your education without worrying about your basic needs being met I think choosing what’s best for your mental health and education is smartest way out of your situation.
Your aunt’s offer could provide that stability. Ultimately though, only you know what environment will be healthiest. Don’t let family guilt you – this decision is about your wellbeing. Wishing you the best.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“First of all report your mum’s partner he’s a predator and tell her that’s the exact reason you won’t stay with her, your father needs to buck his ideas up to if he wants a second chance he needs to prove he’s Worthy of one, lastly do what’s best for you, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you don’t be dragged down by others NTJ” Puzzled_Young3021
16. AITJ For Selling A Guitar That Wasn't Claimed For Over A Year?
“My buddy was moving out of the country and asked me if I wanted to take some items he did not want to bring with him.
We would jam a lot and he had some old guitars that he no longer needed. Since I record music, I happily agreed to take the items off his hands, and he dropped them off at my place.
Fast forward a few months and I get a text from a mutual friend of ours saying that some of these items belonged to previous roommates from over two years prior, and that one guitar in particular was to be returned. Luckily, they were still in my possession, even after I had moved to a new apartment.
I was happy to oblige and told our mutual friend to forward my contact details to the rightful owner. A couple of days later I received a message that briefly said, “hey, sorry to bother you. I hear you had been given one of my guitars, I would love to have it back!
I understand if you have already gotten rid of it, but if you haven’t, we can arrange a pickup.” I told the guy I was out of town for holidays, and that I’d be back in a week. This was conveniently when they would be visiting my city, and I told them that I’d make myself available to return it.
I was prepared the week they said they’d contact me and heard nothing back from them after my cordial correspondence.
This was over a year and a half ago and I still hadn’t heard anything. I also assumed that since this person (again whom I’ve never met) lived a few hours away, and had friends in my city still, that they’d likely present another opportunity to return it.
I still haven’t been contacted and no one up to my 2nd degree of contact has mentioned anything still. I was getting ready to downsize and get rid of more than a few instruments. Now, I wasn’t particularly fond of this guitar (hence why I was so willing to return it), but it had a good market value.
I put it on a classified ad and within 4 days I sold it at 3 quarters the MSRP price.
Another mutual friend (not yet mentioned), noticed I had gotten rid of some of my prized items, and noticed the guitar was gone as well. I said, “yeah I waited around and eventually got rid of it.” I also snarkily commented how I was willing to return it, but at the end of the day, the price I sold it at covered the long-term “storage fee”.
He laughed.
I didn’t think anything of this exchange at the time, but a week later I get a message from the first mutual friend (the one that informed me that the first friend gave away his ex roommates items, and that the previous owner), and she scolded me saying I should have tried harder to return it.
Mind you, she has not spoken to me in over a year. Now I feel bad because I could have tried to reach out, I was just in a rush to get rid of things and quickly reasoned that the months that had passed were an indication that the guitar was ‘officially’ abandoned. I don’t know if I’m the jerk.
Insight needed.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Tons of things come up and life can get in the way so it’s understandable the owner didn’t prioritize it immediately, but you held on to it in good faith for a long time, and at any point in this saga the friends up the chain could have claimed the guitar in the interim on behalf of the original owner.” Mobius_Stripping
15. AITJ For Exposing My Neighbor's Disrespectful Dog-Walking Habits Online?
“I (20F) moved into a neighborhood with a lot of drama in June 2021. I moved in with my mom and her partner because I am not financially stable enough to be on my own just yet.
My mom’s partner, let’s call him Clyde, has had issues with a lady (Mary) who walks her dog every day. They despise each other but I’ve never gotten far enough into the neighborhood lore to know exactly why.
When I moved in, she would give my mom and me dirty looks if she ever saw us while she was out walking.
My mom and I never did anything to her other than being associated with her enemy neighbor. Clyde did tell us that she walks into people’s yards and lets her dog poop wherever it pleases and she will not pick up after it. When someone finally told her to pick it up, she would put it in a baggy and throw it into the sewer.
I thought that’s a pretty lousy thing to do (no pun intended), but I never put much thought into it.
One day, I was outside around 6 AM because I’m an astrology nerd and there was a total lunar eclipse. I heard a noise coming from my front yard and it turned out, Mary was there with her dog.
I coughed to let her know that I was outside and I knew what she was doing. I didn’t see her doing it much after that until about a month later when I was out on my front porch. In pure daylight, she walked into someone else’s yard, right up next to the window, and started letting her dog build a dookie castle.
I started recording her. She started walking the opposite way so I assumed she saw me.
There is an app that lets people post things for other people in their surrounding area to see, so I decided to post the video there. I wanted to get more info on Mary and see if anybody else was aware of what she was doing.
It got quite a bit of attention from other people who disliked her. A few comments were saying that it’s illegal to film other people without their permission, while others were coming to my defense saying it’s no different than a Ring doorbell.
One lady messaged me and told me that this has been an ongoing issue for 20+ years. Nobody wanted to confront her about it, and when they would, she would ignore them.
Since I posted the video, everybody who never said anything started confronting her saying that she was trespassing in a ‘no trespassing’ neighborhood.
Clyde was outside cleaning his truck when she ran up to him saying that she was going to call the police if I don’t take the post down immediately. So I deleted the post and I haven’t seen her in anybody’s yard since.
She won’t even walk to my cul-de-sac anymore.
The lady whose house Mary was at in the video came over and thanked me for bringing attention to it. I feel like I may be the jerk because she was getting reprimanded by others in the neighborhood after they saw it.
This was in December 2022 but I still dwell on it because I overthink everything.
AITJ for posting my neighbor online?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Where I live it isn’t illegal to record people on public property. In this case she was trespassing on someone else’s property.
She threw dog waste down a storm drain, that’s very illegal. I’d start taking pictures and calling animal control every time she tries this stunt.” Teriyaki-Teriyaki
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, There is no expectation of privacy on the sidewalk or in a front yard where anybody can see you.
She is just embarrassed you have it recorded. Any responsible pet owner knows they need to clean up after their pet, and she doesn’t. It’s an issue and has been for a while. I wouldn’t have even taken the post down. You didn’t do anything wrong” ThatPhoneGuy912
Another User Comments:
“While filming people without their permission is a no no, there is merit to the comments that said it’s no different if she’d gotten caught by a security camera. And these days, those are everywhere in public and residential areas. That lady deserves to be outed…with video proof.
You and your neighbors need to add more security cameras in case she starts feeling like the scandal has passed. NTJ.” AffectionateCable793
14. AITJ For Not Letting A Young Child And His Mom Use My Professional Archery Bow?
“I 14 (M) have been doing archery for around a year now. I was at an archery range in England one day when this kid who couldn’t have been more than 10 approached me, almost standing right in front of my bow, mind you, I was shooting my end when this happened [An end in archery is shooting 6 arrows, usually 3 if you are inside a building].
I can recall myself stopping mid-draw and lowering my bow when it happened. I yelled at the kid to move out of the sight of my bow so he was safely behind me, and he moved back and waited for me to finish my end.
Once I had finished my end, he approached my bow, which made me raise an eyebrow. He asked if he could use it, and pointed me to his bow, which was a small leisure bow, or jelly bow as I like to refer to it as.
His space was a few spaces down, and we were almost alone apart from the other archers who were in several different spaces.
My bow is a recurve bow, and it is the typical bow used by Olympians in the Olympics. I abruptly refused, and continued my end.
I remember him almost running off and the sounds of crying or sobbing. Fast forward a few ends, and I have just finished my penultimate end and I noticed the kid pointing in my direction with an adult behind him.
This female, who looked about 25-35, approached me and asked if I was the person who refused her son to use a bow.
I responded by saying yes. She then went on to list all the reasons why she and her son wanted to use it. When she did end up finishing it, I sighed, and said sure, let me just take it to pieces and take it over.
I knew chances were, that they would either break the bow, or dry fire it due to the strong poundage it has, which could damage the limbs on the bow or ruin the string. Her son and she were smirking at this time and moved back over to their space.
When I took my bow to pieces, I called my dad to come and pick me up, and when he did arrive, I left as soon as humanly possible.
That is quite a mouthful if you ask me, so that begs the question, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – the kid has no business trying to use a bow of that caliber. I too used to be into archery and know that the kid probably wouldn’t have been able to pull it back 25% of the way. Yes, he would have been damaged by a dry fire or just simply dropping it.
The mother had no business assuming she had any right to personal property. I’m willing to bet she might have thought that it was a community bow(obviously it wasn’t). Still doesn’t excuse her entitlement. You did the right thing, OP.” slap-a-frap
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. This woman had no right to do this to you, and considering your age, this is even worse, you don’t try to pressure a 14-year-old you don’t even know into lending expensive equipment to a child. Sounds like you really love your hobby and know your stuff, having something in your life you have so much passion for is a good way to live, awesome for you!” CartographerHot2285
13. "AITJ For Arguing With My Wife Over Prioritizing Work Over Our Baby?
“My wife (35 f) and I (35 m) are both highly driven. Collectively we have a doctorate (medical field) and a master’s. My job is more flexible, being in the medical field, I can work my hours to see my patients when I have to, but I try not to disrupt my patients’ schedules/appointments, some of which are set months in advance.
But I’ve changed my work habits since my daughter was born and cut back on my practice and changed jobs to a more family-friendly job. My wife has the same job before and after baby and has only taken more and more responsibility at her job, I’ll not specify just in case, as it’s a political office.
We’ve talked about setting boundaries around baby time, over and over, and it gets better for a week at most. Lately, due to multiple staff change, she’s been working easily 80+ hours a week. We talked and she agreed from 5-7 (pick up from daycare to baby bed time) was baby time and she can go back to work once our daughter is asleep.
Remote for her is easy. Last night she was giving our daughter a bath (a rare occurrence for mom). Her work phone rang and she grabbed it and said she had to take it and walked to another part of the house.
Now to be clear, my daughter was in my view at the time and I acknowledged I was taking over so my daughter was never at risk of drowning in the bath unattended. However, my daughter proceeded to scream for her momma to come back (we can say momma/dadda and other single words).
Proceeding to full nuclear meltdown.
This is 15 minutes before bedtime. My daughter proceeds to go full nuclear for 45 minutes, and at one point I heard my wife from another part of the house say “sorry hold on having a hard time hearing you” and then step outside the house.
Presumably because she couldn’t hear over our daughter screaming “momma” the whole time. I did what I could and got her to bed. 30 minutes after bedtime, I was lying on the floor by her crib with my hand on her chest for comfort (she was still fidgeting and intermittently crying for her momma), and I hear my wife reenter the house.
After another few minutes to make sure the baby was down I went downstairs to confront my wife. We had a knock-down fight about barriers again and I was called a jerk for not understanding the stress she’s under. I understand this is just my side but am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but I wonder if she’s just saying the PPD is healed to get out of the frequency of psychiatrist visits and is hiding some additional post-partum anxiety, which can reflect itself in working more because you’re feeling the amplified effect of falling behind or not having enough money when the kid is older to give them everything you want to give them in life.
She could also be feeling like a bad mom at home, which is standard new baby feelings for most moms at some point in the baby stage, and is using work to make herself feel like she’s good at something and can control the outcomes in the way that you can’t with kids.
Therapy only works if you’re willing to be honest and vulnerable, and business people who tie their personality to their success at work struggle with both of those emotions.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – It’s a clear case of her not following through on what she committed to doing.
You communicated, planned, and now she’s going back on it. Why she’s doing it is a whole separate matter. Has she given you any concrete reasons why she won’t step back? I feel like that could help a lot of this – you may not agree with her reasons, but if she communicates them, then at least you know and can move forward.
But it sounds like it’s just a “sit down and shut up” type of arrangement and that’s not going to work long term. People are allowed to change their minds. It’s what makes us human. But when you’re in a relationship, you have to communicate those changes and make sure the other person is, at the very least, informed. I’m sorry you’re not getting that from her.” [deleted]
12. AITJ For Letting My New Partner Move In Without My Daughter's Approval?
“My ex-partner(45M) and I (43F) split up a year ago.
We have a daughter together (8F), I own the house we lived in, and kept primary custody of our daughter. About 6 months after we split up, through a chain of events, I got together with my best friend, (42M). We’ve been friends for over a decade, and we’re just really compatible.
Anyway, recently we had a talk, and determined it would be a good idea for him to move into my house. Basically, I’m having trouble making ends meet, and he’s getting priced out of his apartment between high rent and his own credit card debt.
So we came up with an arrangement where he could move in, help me financially, and manage to save money and bring down his debt. The problem is that he doesn’t get along well with my daughter. He cares about her and has helped me a lot with raising her.
He’s never been cruel or abusive towards her, or anything like that. The issue is mainly that she thinks I’m trying to replace her dad (I’m not) and that her dad absolutely can’t stand him.
The reason he doesn’t get along with my ex is that he intervened on multiple occasions where my ex was abusive.
My ex being abusive was ultimately the reason that we split up. Anyway, flash forward a year later, and my ex has visitation, and my new partner is moving in, and my daughter and my ex are saying that I’m the jerk because I didn’t make sure that my daughter was happy with the arrangement beforehand.
As for talking to my daughter about the arrangement – yes, I talked to her about it in advance. It’s important for kids to have an idea of what’s going on in their household, and for them to be able to set fair expectations. The thing that I’m being called the jerk for is that I didn’t ask for her permission.
I personally do not think that it is reasonable to have to ask for a child’s permission to make decisions like this. I believe that she would have trouble with it whether it’s a year or five years after splitting up with her dad, and that as her parent it’s my job to guide her through the tough times, not ask her permission.
But still, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“YTJ You are saying you don’t think her opinion is necessary for decisions that directly affect the level of comfort she feels in her own home. It doesn’t matter how good of a person you think your partner is or why she isn’t comfortable with him.
The fact is that she isn’t. If you force this onto her, she may grow to resent you and your partner. I’m not saying your partner can’t ever move in, but you have to at least try to make your daughter comfortable first. And no, before you even start, no you have not tried yet it’s only been 6 months.
YOU’VE been friends with him for a decade, not your daughter.” Lucallia
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here I think it’s great you were able to move on from your abusive ex and find a good partner. I don’t think I can really call the daughter a jerk.
She’s 8 and this is a huge change for her, a change she might not fully understand or grasp. She’s going to have to grow to understand that you’re going to do things she may not necessarily like or agree with. Considering your ex is abusive and doesn’t get along with your new partner, I wouldn’t put it past him to be talking poison into your daughter’s ear.” TheBigBluePit
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. It’s a terrible idea to move in a new man while your daughter is waiting for therapy to deal with the last man moving out. No, I don’t think you need to ask her permission, but ignoring her emotional state because you want what you want when you want it is asking for a horrible result.
In a few years you’ll be posting to complain that your daughter isn’t faking being happy to make life more comfortable for you.” rochan71
11. AITJ For Wanting My Partner's Freeloading Family To Move Out?
“My partner (34M) and I (30F) have been together almost 2 years in September. I know of his family & he knows of mine (as far as names and faces). His family story is a bit difficult due to foster care but he knows his siblings and parents, which brings us to now.
In April, we found the perfect apartment, we absolutely love it, and the price is perfect for a 2 bedroom in this economy! Well in JUNE, his sibling (25+F) we’ll call her Fran decided to use our address due to a situation that occurred while they were living with her and my partner’s younger brother.
I was against this because I thought that was really inconvenient and inconsiderate, seeing as she has 3 children and a partner (25+M), we’ll call him Freckle.
This was only supposed to be a week, but today I’m writing because they’ve been here rent and bill free since.
I’m surprised at my partner because he nags me constantly about my half of everything, but that aside, it was okay the first month. They have EBT so it was nice to have someone cooking and cleaning after themselves, but I slowly started to realize they intended on staying for a while.
They started looking at schools in the area and that just wasn’t part of the plan. I have 2 kids myself and the 2nd bedroom was for them as well as my partner’s kids who he’s working on repairing relationships with. This is too much for me, there’s constant noise and messes, we have ants and gnats because idk I don’t know, honestly?
They eat in the room and we’ve asked them not to, they smoke in the room and we’ve asked them not to, again, they do not work or contribute to us whatsoever, they’re just here.
My partner gave them until the 15 of august to leave, this morning I asked if the 1st might be better and he said sure but I would have to tell them and now I feel like a jerk because maybe I’m not seeing why he’s all of a sudden so willing to help people who do nothing while complaining about every penny I make or lack there of.
I’m honestly scared they’ll never leave at this point.
AITJ or should I let them stay?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Clearly they’ve over stayed their welcome and are quite content to freeload off of you two. They show blatant disrespect for you with smoking and eating in their rooms. Put your foot down and show them the door before it’s too late” Temporary-Moose-6933
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but in this case I’d recommend leaving your partner and his sister to the apartment and get one of your own because this will be how your whole life will be with him. he will always do for his family while making sure he nickel dimes you for every cent he can get out of you run now while you can” gravegirl48
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. As soon as the ‘little subletters’ made their appearance, I would have kicked them out, no ifs, buts or when. out out out and take your creepy crawleys with you! get rid of them asap, if you can, then depending on the laws where you live, you may have to formally evict them as they now may be tenants.
the joy of this process, costing you time, money, nerves. or do you think your nagging ‘pay your share’ partner, **who invited them**, would say **sorry I made a mistake and will pay the eviction costs myself*. I think not, and prepare to have to move yourself.
It could be that them living with you may be against your lease, and well, show me a landlord who wouldn’t gladly get rid of a ‘cheap rent’ tenant to increase said rent for a new tenant.” Tessa_Kamoda
10. AITJ For Calling My Partner A Jerk And Skipping Their Birthday Premiere?
“I (33F) called my partner (35NB) a jerk and stayed home while they went to the Barbie premiere. My partner turned 35 yesterday and it was a beautiful, busy day full of activities. I planned these activities and coordinated with friends and family.
This morning we were both happy, but tired, from the day before and agreed to relax and watch TV/knit for a little bit.
A little bit into the episode, they asked me about my student loans and encouraged me to sign up for some new government program.
I thanked them for the update but said I didn’t feel like making any decisions right now and just wanted to relax. They explained a lot of the policy to me and continued to encourage me to sign up. I again thanked them and said I’d look into it later.
After more back and forths like this, they asked if they could log into my email because they had signed up for the program and listed me as a co-signer. I said I wasn’t comfortable signing a legal document and just wanted to relax. They wanted to know when I would co-sign.
I ended up calling them a pushy jerk. They went into the bedroom and slammed the door. I left the house and slammed the door.
I tried to initiate a conversation after I cooled down and came home, but it didn’t go anywhere. I felt sad and defeated and went to sleep.
This is a bad habit of mine when I’m overwhelmed. I’m certain I made things worse by doing so.
About half an hour before we were to go to the Barbie premier, they came into my room to ask if I was going. I said I wasn’t sure.
During this interaction, they shared they were angry I called them a jerk that morning, and felt they couldn’t get past it, and also that they would be disappointed if I didn’t go to the premiere for their birthday. They also expressed frustration that I’d slept all day and “didn’t take the lead” in reconciliation.
At one point I tried to respond and they said, “This isn’t a dialogue, don’t flipping speak to me.” When they said that I shut down. I felt really overwhelmed and asked to end the conversation, closed the door, and got back into bed like a child.
I really wish I hadn’t. That kind of talk just takes me back to some upsetting moments from when I was a kid and I can’t handle it.
They went to the premiere with our friends and I’m typing this from home. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ That they’re pushing so darned hard should raise several red flags. And am I understanding correctly that they put you as co-signer without even discussing it? I would check your credit for any potential fraud and then lock it down. You don’t owe them an apology.
They pushed and pushed and pushed and then when you hit the wall, they acted offended. They probably will do so again” QueenAnneBoleynTudor
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. DO NOT co-sign anything as that will make you responsible for whatever debt your partner is taking on.
If your partner loses a job or misses a payment, it’s your credit rating that will be affected and you who will get the collections, the wage garnishment, etc. And student loans can’t be discharged in bankruptcy. Years from now, if you split up you will still be on the hook for the debt.
You may not realize this, but your partner is pressuring you to sign a legal document without looking it over. Trying to log into your email account to check the document? Heck. To. The. No. That is a fraud move. You’re not married so your partner’s debt is your partner’s and yours is yours.
This person is way too immature to co-sign with. The fact they’re throwing a tantrum now is a red flag.” FeedbackCreative8334
Another User Comments:
“A little bit ESH. They WERE being a pushy jerk. But you shouldn’t call your partner names. On the other hand, when it comes to them telling you “don’t flipping speak to me”, that’s them being a jerk again.
Golly gee, I wonder why you would rather sleep than go “take the lead” in reconciliation! It’s not like you tried to talk to them earlier on and they blew you off… Oh wait! Yeah, I’m going with an 80/20 distribution on who was the jerk in this situation.” SmadaSlaguod
9. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For My Friends' Ruined Food After A Prank I Didn't Partake In?
Me and a couple of my friends, (Kev, Becca, Aaron, Mike and Luke) these are not their real names were a part of a contest that gets groups from different schools to make an environmental presentation.
Me, Kev, Becca were in one group while Mike, Aaron and Luke were in another.
The first part of the day was fairly normal, we were nervous to present our projects you know all that. Since there were a lot of schools participating the contest took all day so around 2 PM we had a 1-2 hour break to go and get food though our groups had more time since we were second to last to present.
So we decide to split up to go get the food we want, Me and Luke went to a nearby mall to get snacks since I wasn’t hungry and Luke had packed lunch and just wanted to get something more. Aaron and Mike went to get fast food and Kev and Becca stayed.
Now for context for this next part me and Kev and Becca were close but we kind of grew apart by the time of this contest yet we agreed to not tell our mutual friends about it since they already assumed that we three were always in a group.
So as Kev and Becca wait for us they decide to pull a prank on Aaron and Mike where they called them frantically to tell them that the break was over and we were next in line to be judged. This caused Mike and Aaron to drop their food and it got destroyed so badly it was inedible.
Mike and Aaron get back just as me and Luke got back and Mike started saying how I should pay a 3rd for his food. That’s when me and Luke found out about what Kev and Becca did.
I obviously said no and that’s when Kev chimed in and said I should just “suck it up and give him the money”, I continued saying that that would be unreasonable as I didn’t do the prank.
The conflict never got resolved and it’s a week later and J is refusing to pay half causing Mike and Kev to insist I just pay to get it over with.
I don’t want to pay for something I didn’t cause especially since food is expensive nowadays, I do understand that this is causing strain and unnecessary conflict but it doesn’t feel right to me.
So AITJ for refusing to pay?
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If someone standing next to you got pickpocketed, would they expect you to give them money? You had nothing to do with the prank or its aftermath, and the fact that your friends are insisting on payment for something you didn’t do is laughable.
There isn’t anything for you to suck up! If they want someone to pay, they should be asking Kev and Becca since they instigated the prank that resulted in the lost lunches.” ClothesQueasy2828
8. AITJ For Wanting My Roommate's Aggressive Cat To Stay In Her Room?
6 months ago I was looking for a roommate to move into my apartment. I have been at this apartment for a year already with my 2 cats. Their litter box had been in the living room area and my cats have had free roam.
I found someone who seemed like a great fit to live with, they also had a cat.
My cats are socialized already, and she said that her cat is a little angsty but will stay in her room and come out at supervised times.
I never said I would be okay with my 2 cats staying in my room, same with the litter box.
When my new roommate moved in, I moved my litter box and cats into my room just to make the moving in process easier.
The following days, she had her cat out constantly, fast forward a few months and I’m stuck in this weird position where we have been switching our cats out and my 2 cats are now home based in my very small room for at least half the day.
Her cat stalks my cats under the door, is hissing and aggressive towards me, eventually biting me which I now have a scar from. She left her cat out in the apartment with her door closed and didn’t let me know, I didn’t see her cat and let my cats out, resulting in her cat attacking one of my cats and her.
I brought up a conversation basically saying that this behavior from your cat is not okay, I’m not okay with my cats living in my room like they are, etc. She told me her cat will be going on medication and she’s also not okay with her cat staying in her room, which I found weird because that was what she said would be happening prior to moving in.
It is now about a month after that incident, her cat is still stalking my cats under the door, and I want to basically set a boundary that my litter box should return to where it was originally and her cat can stay in her room like originally intended. I also want to say that if she’s not okay with it she may need to move out.
I do feel bad for her cat but I don’t think she should’ve moved in knowing her cat is not okay with other cats like this.
Will I be the jerk for saying this?
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It sounds like she intentionally misled you by downplaying her cat’s behavioral issues.
This isn’t fair to you and your cats. You can set a boundary about the placement of the litterbox and her cat, respectively, but I anticipate your next boundary will be asking her to move out anyway. Good luck.” Content-Plenty-268
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.
Cats shouldn’t have to be locked away in a bedroom. You guys shouldn’t have been roommates from the start if you knew the cats wouldn’t get along.” ThotsforTaterTots
7. AITJ For Banning My Brother From Using My Laptop After He Broke The Rules?
A few months ago, after I had to clear everything off my laptop because it was running slowly, I told my brother that he wasn’t allowed to download anything onto my laptop, let the battery drain and to make sure that it was turned off after he was done with it.
He agreed to this at the time, and to make sure he knew the rules I’d set, I wrote it up on my wallpaper as well. As he’d followed these rules over the last couple of months, I changed my wallpaper back to normal (because a blank screen with a wall of text wasn’t exactly appealing).
I just got back home from work today to find the battery fully drained, everything still running when I plugged it back in and loads of games downloaded. When I confronted him about this, he kicked off and ran to our mum to complain.
My mum came into my room shouting at me for being cruel and that he’s had a horrible day, that the only reason it was left on was her fault because she had asked him to go and collect our little sister from school.
When I tried to say that that wasn’t my main issue, but that it was that he’d downloaded loads of stuff and the laptop wasn’t even plugged in, she started screaming at me, to which my stepdad (his dad) and he started shouting that I was being a jerk.
By this point my brother was also crying, saying that I was being cruel and that I don’t love him (really not sure where he gets that from, but I’ll explain a little but more about that in the next paragraph). Anyway, by that point I just said that I wasn’t putting up with this and left.
Now, here’s where I could be the jerk (if I’m not already). My brother is 13 and has been really struggling with school, he was recently diagnosed with ADHD and has gotten into a lot of trouble at school. Our mum has tried to resolve this to get him out of detentions because his teachers haven’t been following his personal learning plan.
Anyway, the reason he’d had such a bad day was that he was wanting to go on his school trip, but has told he wasn’t allowed because of his behaviour points. He’s also not in school much, being on a phased return over the last term of the year.
Basically, AITJ for saying that my brother isn’t allowed to use my laptop because he broke the rules I set in place. I also want to point out that this is specifically about me being the jerk in this situation, I am very well aware that my stepdad is a jerk in regards to many other things, and he was calling me far worse things than a jerk throughout this whole thing.
Another User Comments:
“NTJ ignoring everything else, it’s your laptop, not his. Simple as. Addressing the other issues, it’s clear he used the bad day as an excuse to misbehave knowing your mum would back it up. If possible, don’t let him use it anymore.
It might even be worth buying him a cheap used laptop or PC just to get rid of the issue. Above all else kids don’t know what they’re doing, these downloads are likely pirated games that could genuinely be bad for the computer. I understand he’s having a hard time but it’s not an excuse to actively misbehave.
Extra relief? Sure. Outright ignorance? Definitely not.” ZEAC2001
Another User Comments:
“NTJ He can’t use your laptop anymore because he didn’t respect the rules put in place. Whether you can enforce that or not, I don’t know given your home situation. I’m sorry you live with an unsupportive mother and stepfather, but you are not the jerk for not wanting him to use the laptop anymore when he did not meet the conditions you set for his use.” Grump_Curmudgeon
6. AITJ For Yelling At My Step-Brother After He Ruined My Comics?
“I (16f) am a huge comic fan. My dad, sister, step-sister, step-mom, step-brother (14, it’s the only relevant age) and I are currently on vacation, in a different country than the one we live in. Recently I bought a special edition of Carnage, and the 4th of the Miles Morales comics, online.
And decided to bring them with me on vacation, to read. The day after we arrived, I had put my comics on the living room table, and gone to the bathroom. (My step-brother was in the sofa, beside the table) When I came out my step-brother was laying on his stomach while watching iPad, I didn’t suspect anything and picked up the Carnage comic and began reading again, until I got to page 24, where he had drawn lines and squiggles everywhere all the way to page 56 and from page 56 to 70 and from 70 to the end with only a few pages break, I also looked through my other comic to see that he even ripped a few pages loose and also drew in that.
Here is where I’m probably in the wrong: I began yelling at him, and telling him that he was gonna have to replace them. Now my step-brother isn’t special needs or mentally challenged, so he should definitely know better than to draw in my comics, which definitely made me even angrier.
My step-mom came into the room, because she heard me yelling, I assume. Now my step-mom is very much a boy mom, and her “oh so dear baby boy” can never do anything wrong, for an example, my step-sister is a big fan of knitting and painting and just being creative in general, and had just bought some new art supply’s a couple months ago, which he had also ruined, and he didn’t face any consequences at all.
So my step-mom began telling me to calm down, she then told me that it was irresponsible of me to just let my comics lay out in the open, and that everyone could mistakenly destroy them. Now I’m gonna say this again, my step-brother is 14 years old, and doesn’t have any mental or physical struggles, he is just extremely childish.
I began yelling at my step-mom, telling her that either she or her devil spawn of a son was gonna pay for my comics, because I was not gonna pay for something he destroyed. We argued some more and I eventually went to my sister and my shared room, where she was, and we talked, I calmed down a little.
My dad is telling me that I’m a jerk for yelling at my step-brother and swearing at my step-mom. But my step-sister and sister both agree with me. So, am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but your step bro definitely is. Your Dad and step mom are also jerks and failures as parents.
Step bro is 14. He knows darn well he shouldn’t be destroying other people’s things. Don’t speak to step bro again. Do not acknowledge him if/ when he speaks to you. Do not speak to step mom except in one-word answers. Ditto with your dad. Only engage with your sis and step sis.
When called out say you aren’t interested in talking to mistreaters or their apologists.” TiredAndTiredOfIt
5. AITJ For Not Inferring My Partner Wanted Food Despite Her Saying She Didn't?
“Two nights in a row I’ve asked for ideas for a grocery list ($150 min for free delivery), no suggestions. Her stomach has not felt good for a few days. Important. Today, we are out. I offer to buy groceries for dinner. She declines. I offer to buy dinner out, she declines.
She wants to go home and nap. I ask about the grocery list and she agrees to help. We get a smoothie and go home.
On the couch, we shop for groceries. Yay. She starts to talk about food. She starts by literally saying “I don’t want” (name of food I can’t spell, but we ate yesterday) but it was good…” and proceeds to go on in uncomfortable detail about how it felt inside her stomach and was the only food that felt good in the last few days.
It was a weird description.
In my head: “why the heck don’t you want to eat the only thing you say feels good?” But she doesn’t want it she doesn’t want it right? I complete our Amazon order, put my phone down, and resume a YouTube video I had on my laptop on the coffee table.
She excuses herself to shower. She’s in there a while, so I am cleaning something in the kitchen. She calls. Strange. She’s miffed that I am not answering my texts. I’m 15 feet away. I go in the room, she’s in bed, dry, I tell her I thought she was showering.
“For the last hour?” She’s clearly upset, she says that I turned on my laptop and was ignoring her. Keep in mind she was on her phone, and we both usually play on our phones on the couch. Never been an issue. She is upset because she wanted food.
Apparently when she was describing the food she *explicitly* said she didn’t want, I was supposed to **infer** that she *was* hungry, and wanted food “like” the food she had the day before, just not “that food”.
During this revelation she also complained that “why does she have to be the one to order food” I had offered to make dinner.
I offered to buy dinner. I DID order groceries. 1st, AITJ for not ordering food when she declined my prior offers and *explicitly* stated she didn’t want the food she was talking about? 2nd, AITJ for putting YouTube on my laptop on the couch when my phone died?
Usually we both use our phones, but she fixated on this so much I just feel like must be missing some social cue (autism)
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Don’t overthink. Just because you’re autistic doesn’t mean you’re always wrong. She sounds entitled, demanding, boring and not worth the effort.” CharmingCarmilla
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You know, this will never change. Hinting isn’t communicating. Some can’t or won’t communicate. Up to you to decide if that’s what you’re willing to deal with. I’m a big believer in counseling as everyone has their things.” BrattybratS
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Sometimes when people are feeling sick they’re not at their best. She is being a poor communicator and clingy, you are taking her at her word which is currently at odds with what she wants. I don’t think she’s a bad person, but she does sound like she’s going through it and is bringing you along with her.
I don’t think you need to change anything, and I’m sure the groceries will come and her tummy will start feeling better and then you can evaluate more easily if she is making you happy. I really don’t think there’s a social cue you’re missing, I just think she’s struggling and feeling bad and taking it out on you a bit even if she doesn’t mean to” meeping_maple
4. AITA For Saying My GF Will Be A Bad Mom Based On Her Relationship With Her Dog?
“I (27m) want to start this by saying my partner (25f) is one of those people who dresses her dog up in tiny outfits and walks it in a babies stroller.
The dog is also one of those annoying little yappy breeds with a high pitched bark. Throughout the relationship she has always called the dog her “baby” and she tells me how perfect she thinks the dog is.
For context I also have a dog who I love very much, he’s pretty old and he sleeps on a mat in my room.
I trained him as a puppy and he’s extremely independent. He will take himself out his dog door when he needs to go to the toilet and he’s fine being left at my house alone when I go to work, or stay a night at my partner’s place.
He doesn’t bark and he knows where he stands in relation to me.
In contrast, my partner sleeps with her dog every night in the bed, it is always in the room with us, even when we are intimate, it will growl at me when I get close to her, and it yelps periodically throughout the night for her to let it out into the backyard to use the toilet which wakes me up too.
It also has a bad habit of defecating or urinating on the floor of her ensuite, and at night I have stepped in its mess when using the bathroom. My partner also refuses to sleep over at my place ever because the dog has supposed separation anxiety.
Two days ago, while we were out walking her dog, it started growling at a little girl walking past and she just picked the dog up and gave it a kiss and said softly “That’s very naughty!” This is a very typical example of how she always handles the dog’s bad behaviours.
I explained to her that anytime she does this, she’s actually just reinforcing the dog’s terrible behaviours and this really annoyed her off. She called me a jerk and said her dog doesn’t have bad behaviours. At this point I snapped and said that if she is so wilfully blind to how badly behaved her dog is, she will be a bad mother one day as she will not know how to discipline her kids.
She started crying and said she would be a great mother and there’s nothing wrong with her dog. She hasn’t talked to me since. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“I’m going to throw out here that a lot of people with toy breeds are abysmal about correcting bad behaviors.
Just because a dog is small, cute, or fluffy does not mean that it’s not a dog. Toy breed owners let their dogs get away with things that would make people with Dobermans, Saint Bernards, German Shepherds, Huskies, blue heelers, etc. cringe and pray that their dog never acts like that.
It’s “cute” for a small chihuahua to growl at a child. It’s not so cute when it’s a mastiff. Small dogs with no boundaries and no respect for their owners often take it upon themselves to become “the boss” in the house because they don’t feel secure or safe.
I absolutely see the point that you are trying to make. I don’t think you went about it correctly, but I’ve known people like your partner, and it’s just maybe not a situation that can be compromised on. Your partner needs to understand that even small dogs can cause damage to newborns and small children.
If you are planning on having those someday with her, she needs to set some way firmer boundaries with her dog. I think that the real issue is that you are scared to have children around her dog because even under supervision, it is unpredictable.
Unpredictable dogs, no matter their size, have no place in a family unit with babies or young children. So I don’t think your issue is lack of discipline for the dog = lack of discipline for children. I think your real issue is that you are afraid of the aggression and unpredictability of her dog around any children you may have.
Source: I have owned Pomeranians, Great Danes, Huskies, Lhasa Apso’s, and I have been raised around German Shepherds, Blue Heelers, and Scottish Terriers. Judgement: No jerks here” MarigoldCat
Another User Comments:
“It seems like you snapped for a lot of reasons around that dog and your relationship.
You criticized her. She called you a jerk. You attacked her character. Now she’s ghosting you. If that dog is representative of how she would handle bad behavior in a child, then she would have some really unruly kids, for sure. Maybe she’s gone for good after that.
So you might have solved your own problem, unless you go back and apologize for saying something cruel to her (that might be true.) Rather than asking if you are the jerk, ask if you want her back.” everellie
3. AITJ For Telling My Daughter That People Might Be Laughing At Her Jokes, Not With Her?
“My daughter, Sarah, is 12 years old and has a great sense of humor.
She loves cracking jokes and making people laugh. However, the problem is that Sarah’s jokes often come across as awkward or confusing, and her classmates end up laughing at her, not with her.
I volunteer at Sarah’s school, and during recess, I observed this happening several times.
Sarah would share a joke, and her classmates would giggle, but it seemed clear they were not laughing because they found the joke funny. Instead, it seemed like they were laughing at how silly or strange the jokes were. For example: Sarah has been obsessed with Queen Elizabeth and often makes random comparisons between Queen Elizabeth and random objects.
I felt conflicted about what to do. On one hand, I wanted to encourage Sarah’s sense of humor and creativity, but on the other hand, I didn’t want her to be oblivious to the fact that she might be the subject of ridicule.
So, I decided to have a conversation with her about it.
In a gentle and supportive manner, I spoke to Sarah about her jokes and how it’s okay to enjoy making people laugh, but it’s essential to be aware of their reactions. I told her that while some jokes might be funny to her, others might not find them amusing, and that’s okay too.
I wanted her to understand that sometimes people laugh for different reasons, and it’s crucial to be attuned to their feelings.
Sarah got upset by our conversation and felt like I was criticizing her sense of humor. She argued that she was just having fun and that her classmates were laughing, so she must be doing something right.
I reassured her that I wasn’t trying to dampen her spirit but rather help her navigate social dynamics better.
Now I’m wondering if I made the right decision by discussing this with her. Should I have just let her enjoy her jokes without pointing out that some kids might be laughing at her, not with her?
Did I unintentionally discourage her from expressing herself freely? My husband is worried I made Sarah self-conscious about her jokes and that she might stop expressing herself altogether. He argues that it’s essential for kids to be free to explore their sense of humor without the burden of being judged by others.
I agree with that completely but felt it wrong that she didn’t know.
I feel conflicted if I messed up, and if I did, how to fix it.”
Another User Comments:
“I don’t really have a judgment, but have you had her evaluated for autism spectrum conditions?
She may not have anything, but keep in mind that girls go undiagnosed pretty often. The fact that she’s not picking up her classmates’ reactions herself and the Queen Elizabeth “obsession” is a bit of a tip-off. If she does have something and gets diagnosed, that’ll be life changing in terms of being able to get her the proper help to learn things she’s struggling with and succeed socially.
Some people just need to take a different path up the hill, and diagnosis can help determine which one.” reenaltransplant
Another User Comments:
“YTJ If she likes making people laugh, she’ll get funnier over time. Comedy is a skill like any other. Robin Williams prob wasn’t as funny as a kid as he went on to become – he had to practice.
We all might be objects of ridicule when we try at something and aren’t great at it but if we let that stop us we’ll never do anything worthwhile.” prolifezombabe
Another User Comments:
“YTJ given the info provided. Taking everything you say at face value, I agree with getting her tested for spectrum disorders.
Even if they are laughing at her though, if it isn’t bullying, I’m not sure how big of a concern her social quirks should be. The odd friend can still be a genuine friend. Maybe the humor she is trying to convey isn’t landing the way she intended, but there is still humor there for the audience.
It may not even be malicious. She could just be odd and funny. I’m sure there is room for learning and growth, but I tend to side with the husband. Without knowing the private talk of the audience it’s hard to judge. Awkward and confident is probably better than awkward and unconfident.” Successful-Act-85
2. AITJ For Wanting My Mother-In-Law To Move Out?
“My (35F) husband (35M) has two kids (10&13). My husband’s job requires moving and travel, and we have never had a good support network.
When my husband leaves, things tend to fall apart (kids sick, injuries, etc) and everything falls onto me and is a big reason why I didn’t want to work. This year I decided I wanted to finish my degree and enrolled in school. I’m full-time and my husband and I both commute an hour in the opposite direction of our home.
My MIL lost my FIL in 2020 and has been by herself. She’s essentially been by herself for a while and mentioned being lonely. Since we both commute and we both know how our lives are, we thought it would’ve been a good idea to move her in with us.
We all agreed it was a good idea and we were excited to finally have some help. She did say she had a few mobility issues, but nothing we should be concerned about.
It’s been a few months since she’s moved in and I completely regret allowing her to move in with us.
She brought my FIL’s dog who is completely untrained into our home and subsequently urinates and defecates everywhere. The carpets in her room constantly need cleaning, which my husband does. My husband and I are both clean people and we keep a very clean home.
Since she’s moved in, there’s been stuck on starch water on the counters, HER recycling that SHE doesn’t take out, messes she makes that she never cleans up, and my stove has a grease stain when she cooks. She also does NOTHING with my kids, which leaves me stressed and overwhelmed as I feel stretched. Her mobility and health are worse than we were led to believe.
I built her mobility scooter, but she doesn’t use it. Her eyesight is wrecked from diabetes and high blood pressure. She lost eyesight when she had my children in the car with her, and we both have forbidden her from driving until she gets it checked. I’ve taken her to these appointments and being a person with medical knowledge, I am no longer confident she can drive safely.
I’ve started looking for after school care for my youngest daughter, as she has an activity that requires her to be picked up from school, which was something she said she would do. I’m frankly fed up. I want my home the way it was before she moved in.
I feel duped into agreeing to something, not knowing the extent of how bad it was. AITJ for wanting her out?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – but instead of her going to some sort of senior home, have you considered: 1. In-home help for her 2. Professional trainer for the dog 3.
Local HS or College student willing to pick up and drop off kids and/or Mil 4. Get the kids to take turns taking the dog for regular walks. Otherwise hubs might lose his mind thinking about his Mom being “homeless” or “defenseless in a nursing home”.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here You and your husband for really not even KNOWING his mother and her health issues, but expecting her to come live with you guys and take pressure off of you as parents, only to be angry because she isn’t raising them.
This is a messed up situation and you absolutely would be a jerk if you don’t figure out somewhere good for her to live with the support she needs, she clearly can’t live alone….. which you wouldn’t have known until YOU needed HER?!?
What the heck are all these N T A doing on here? You don’t see this old lady is being exploited like a jerk???” JackedLilJill
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. I’m curious how you were not aware that she had an untrained dog before she moved in.
Why didn’t you and your husband know anything about her health problems? It appears that you wanted her to move in to be a babysitter and driver for your children. That hasn’t worked out as you wanted so out the door with her! How does your husband feel about that?
How is it that you can’t work because everything falls apart but you can go to school full time?” squirrelsareevil2479
1. AITJ For Refusing To Pay More Vet Bills For Neighbor's Cat My Dog Allegedly Attacked?
“So my spouse and I have a dog in a fenced yard. My neighbor alleges that the dog crawled under the fence, attacked her cat, crawled back to our yard, and now the cat has spinal injuries.
Initially, I was out of town and my wife handled the majority of the interactions. Because we’re trusting people, we just took her story for face value and paid the $1,000 ER vet bill for her.
Well, at this point, my wife took pictures and showed me the area of the fence the neighbor alleges the dog crawled under.
I have logs positioned against the fence to keep him from squeezing past. One of the logs had been kicked out of its place (opening up a passage for him to potentially pass). The strange thing about this situation is that the logs are large, oblong, and on an incline with no protrusions for the dog to bite.
How our dog managed to move the log and place it to the side confounded me.
Moreover, her description of the event is confusing because she claims that our dog started barking (which is what prompted her to check outside to see what happened). However, we own a chow chow that doesn’t bark at animals — he barks at people — and he’s half blind.
It’s truly a miracle he somehow managed to find the divet again and crawl back into our yard.
Given the circumstances, I became skeptical that our neighbor was telling the truth. To make matters more laughable, the cat is 10 years old with prior spinal injuries.
She’s claiming it can’t walk now and may need surgery (which she expects us to pay for). She also is claiming we are responsible for all vet bills henceforth.
In the end, I don’t believe my dog actually escaped into her yard, I believe her outdoor cat wandered into our yard and may have had a tussle with him.
I also believe I have been more than generous to cover the initial $1,000 dollar vet bill and do not feel responsible to pay for any future vet bills when the quality of life for the animal is questionable.
Am I the jerk for not paying any additional vet bills?
The neighbor pretty much said I’m the devil and a horrible pet owner.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ based on what we know. Letting your cat free roam puts it at risk for anything happening to it. Don’t like that? Keep the cat indoors. Your dog was in your FENCED yard and as far as you know it didn’t leave it (tho in my opinion you should only let your dog out supervised).
You did mess up by just paying her, though. She scammed you and paying up can be considered an admission of guilt. You now have little to no recourse.” Kai-ni
Another User Comments:
“Has my dog been reincarnated? I have had Chows for over 30 years, and my old guy would regularly find a way under our fence to the neighbor’s yard, even though I had railroad ties up against it.
He was a houdini! That being said, the neighbor’s story sounds very sus. It’s very generous to pay for anything for the cat. Not to be gross, but are there actual bite marks on the cat? If it had prior spinal issues, it could have just jumped down off the couch the wrong way.
Good luck! Tell your dog I said hi!” DistributionDue511
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here — it’s because I have met too many bad dog owners to completely trust your story here. I’m sorry about that. If the cat wandered into your yard, it’s not your fault.
If your dog (who barks at people) is able to slip through a fence, it should’ve been fixed before this incident. It sounds like you tried to do that, and I hear your suspicions here, but if he did, you didn’t put enough effort into your repair.
Fix it the right way so there isn’t any doubt. Chows are an aggressive breed, especially when they are blind and can’t see what’s going on around them. I don’t know if you should pay anything past the $1,000 unless she takes you to court.
But I doubt your dogs complete innocence here.” Demonbabiess
