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Metaspoon User

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"I'm sorry for trying to help you. I promise to never do it again"
I was about to go with NTJ until the line of "sister goes to night school". It sounds like sister is going to school and working toward a better life for herself and your wife is trying to help her do this. Have you discussed time frames? What is she going to school for? Can you afford to pay for your kids to do things without your wife paying her half? This letter is too one sided to make a determination.
YTJ. Quit worrying about grandma's jewelry and work on the relationship with your father (and his new wife). It isn't "family jewelry" it is the grandmothers and she can do what she wants with it.
ESH. Yes, it is your wedding, your choice. Weddings have shifted from a formal ceremony uniting a couple and essentially the two families to just a big party for the new couple. By agreeing to the destination wedding you have cut out most of your family and created a hardship for those who will attend. Is that really the wedding you want? If so, go for it. At the same time, once you make the decision, the family shouldn't be pressuring you to pay for them.
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