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NTJ. I am Catholic and you are 100% correct. Jerry should never have even asked you. The Church is very clear about the moral responsibilities Godparents have, and I honestly have so much respect for you for how you handled this. Jerry needs to understand what the Catholic Church actually teaches about Godparents. It is a very serious moral responsibility and as I said, I respect you so much for understanding it would not be right for you to take that on when you do not believe it. NTJ.
Look, I'm Catholic and know a lot about what the Church teaches and I promise that the problem is not the Catholic Church or even necessarily that specific Church. The problem is your husband. Instead of telling your son that Heaven is between your heart and God's and that what matters is that they know a love and peace with God that they wish you to have and that they will pray together for you to someday have that love and peace (which may sound condescending but I promise it comes from a good place. When you experience something good and beautiful it is natural to want to share it with those you love), but instead of telling him any of that, he allows his son to think that you are for sure going to he**. The Catholic Church says we can't know because we can't see what happens between another person's heart and God. There is so much there, and it is not black and white. That's what Protestants believe, and in that I believe that is presumptuous and wrong. Yes, the Church tells us how to live and right from wrong, which is actually very freeing contrary to what some might think. But we cannot know someone's eternal fate, not for sure, until we also die. But please, please know that what your husband did is NOT what the Church teaches. There is so much more and the problem is not with the Church, but with your husband. I'm praying about the situation and I wish you all the best!
AITJ For Helping One Son And Not The Other?
1 year ago
NTJ. I am the second oldest of 8. My older sister is a professional wedding photographer. She is well on her way to paying off her student loans, she just bought her first house this year and she is doing well. She knows my parents would help her if she needed and they could, but she knows and they know she doesn't need help. She's doing great! And we're all really proud of her.
I am a teacher with a lot more student debt and I live halfway across the country from my family. I am doing okay covering my bills, but last October my brother got married. Traveling home was super expensive and I couldn't afford it. So my parents paid for it.
Here's my point: as long as your older son knows you'd help him if he needed it, and I suspect he does because y'all sound like a wonderful family, then there is nothing wrong with helping your son how he needs. Something we talk about all the time as teachers is that we are not fair teachers. But we are reasonable teachers. There are some kids who want to stand or sit by me who do better at their desks and who would get distracted or cause disruptions if they were with me. Then there are other students who need some time to be closer to me to help then stay more focused. I know this has nothing to do with money, but my point is that fairness is the not the same thing as being reasonable. And it is much better to be reasonable than fair. Your younger son needs help. You are able to help him. Your older son at this point in time doesn't need help. If he did and you were able, you'd help him. Simple as that. NTJ