Sugarbee23
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I really don't understand why people lie about their height by that much (or any other physical attributes) unless you are never planning on meeting them in person. It's pretty obvious that you lied right away and screams insecurity, which is not an attractive trait.
Who does this?!
My view isn't about being unable to afford gifts, but I think it's still applicable. I hate gifting. I don't like giving them when expected (I'm ok getting something I see randomly that I know they would like), but I absolutely despise receiving them. I can't even describe how much I hate it when people get me "gifts" because I don't see them as gifts, I see them as burdens. If it isn't something I want or need I now have the burden of an extra item in my home (which is awful for me because I had a parent that was a hoarder and am so averse to extra items in my space) or the burden of figuring out where it can go to be donated......which also leads to the burden of figuring out how to do it in a way the other person won't notice or get offended by. The other type of burden that an unwanted gift creates (and it sounds like this is the thing in your case) is the emotional burden. You may have felt like you could get her something that didn't need to be reciprocated because you felt she deserved it, but now you just added to her stress by giving her an extremely expensive "gift" that she is going to feel she needs to match somehow and that the scale is seriously tipped to your side. You likely put her in the very uncomfortable position of feeling like she is no longer on even footing with you elsewhere as well and she will need to do more in order to repay your "gift", which isn't fair because she didn't ask for it. My ex used to do this kind of stuff.......we would agree not to do gifts for each other and he would always do something anyway and it would completely ruin the occasion/holiday/birthday/whatever for me because it would usually eventually come up later that he did this for me so I can be upset about something he wanted to do or buy for himself or whatever. Doing and buying things that create a "score" or tip the scales in a relationship - whether or not it's intentional - is a jerk move.
My ex-husband was like this and it was a total power play. He worked out of town and would just randomly show up to "surprise me" without warning and then expect me to cancel any plans I had already made - he wasn't content being included in those plans, he wanted them canceled. He did this on my birthday several times. He would show up as my "birthday present" and expect me to spend time with him alone instead of going out with family and friends as was already planned. But it isn't surprising considering he would call me at night when he was gone and expect me to carry the conversation because he had nothing to talk about........and would get upset if Iwas doing anything else while talking to him (like folding laundry or doing dishes). I'm so glad he's an ex. People doing stuff like this is not being supportive and loving, it is them being controlling and manipulative and completely disrespecting boundaries and time.
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