OneandDone
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AITJ For Being The "Prettier Sister"?
1 year ago
NTJ. Your sister's feelings are exactly that. Your sister's feelings and it really doesn't matter what you do or don't do, her inner issues about herself and lack of self confidence isn't going to be affected by your sweat pants and eyeliner. She needs therapy and and a game plan that solely focuses on her, and how she feels and what kind of person she wants to be because for as long as she compares herself to you, she will never be happy. Your parents are ridiculous for 1.) thinking that her happiness has anything to do with you, and 2.) guilting you or trying to make themselves feel better as parents by the whole "we raised you to yackity schmackity" No. That's not what this is about. Your sister has the problem, your sister needs to do the work to fix it.
I'm going to come off as really harsh because to be honest this story made me more and more angry the more I read. You can't be that stupid into actually thinking that just because Harry is a sperm donor that auto makes him the boys father. Absolutely the fork not. Your ex raised that boy as if he was his own fully knowing he didn't have his DNA, and that he was the product of your lil step out. Never once did he try and treat him differently. Rob deserves better. As for John, John has only known Rob as his father, and really doesn't care who Harry is TO YOU. TO HIM, regardless of shared DNA, he's just some dude you're with.
Your other kids are absolutely right. You don't get to step out on their dad with some dudebro and then marry him because he came back after dippin' out on his kid, and then try and force your son to have a relationship with him. His actions are hurting Harry, who really gives two pts about what is hurting Harry. Harry shouldn't have gotten involved with a married woman for one, or ran away from his responsibilities as father for another. Neither you or Harry get any say in how John treats this dude. Absolutely none. Do you hear me?? NONE! I hope your older boy does take John out of the house the minute he turns 18, I hope they all go no contact with you because you are an awful and quite frankly delusional person. You are the jerk, and the fact that you actually wrote all the above, and still think this dude you're with is a "father" in any respect, is insulting.
Agreed. Like your step daughter lives with you and she is working which as we've seen here dozens of times is head and shoulders above what a lot of adult children do living at home. She's not asking for your son to stop coming over altogether, just not when she's working nights so she won't get fired, and you just flat out refusing is showing preference. Yeah it's your house and your rules, but that still doesn't stop you from being a jerk about it.
There is genuine lack of knowledge and also what's called weaponized incompetence, in which partner will refuse to do something because they claim they don't know how or do it so crappy that you'll never ask them to do it again. Not sure which this is, may be a bit of both, but you are absolutely not the jerk for wanting your life partner and other parent to your kids to know what is going on day to day in your house. You should not have to overly tax yourself mentally to make up for what work he doesn't want to put in. It is absolutely unacceptable. And he needs to learn that.
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