Nyse
Metaspoon User
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You are absolutely NOTtj.... No one should be forced to meet some they don't want to. These "children" are not babies, they are more than 16 years old and if they WANTED to meet him, they would. The fact that he believes he is entitled to force himself upon another human, speaks volumes of his character. Thank you for standing up for your daughter's feelings.
First off, have you filed for divorce from this abusive, hurtful, narcissistic, @$$#0|€? He truly thinks he has the right to tell you when you are "allowed" to be fed up with his B's? Throw the whole man child away. Secondly, having a bowel movement during childbirth is just as common as having a baby come out. Your medical team handled it as they did because it is NORMAL. What is NOT normal, is a grown man REPEATEDLY using that against you, to hurt, humiliate and dehumanize you, for his own personal kicks. He thinks he is entitled to use your trauma for his own amusement and then had the audacity to gaslight you and say YOU are wrong for being fed up???? No, you are NOT THE JERK but he most certainly is the @$$#0|€ and I don't know that you can change that. From how you described this situation, he is already FULLY aware that this bothers you very much and has shown COUNTLESS times that he has no respect for you nor does he care that he hurt you. I would NOT apologize, I would instead take my daughter and leave. If he is already setting the stage to show you exactly how much he values your feelings and emotions. I am so sorry you are in this situation but please don't just brush it off. It isn't "no big deal", it wasn't "just a joke" and he definitely is emotionally and mentally abusive, if not physically as well. Run away love, find a man that respects you and your feelings because this "boy" clearly does not.
It sounds to me like Ben doesn't want to combined income but he wants yours. He doesn't want to add your name to the home but he wants you to start paying for it. He wants to control your money and what you spend it on as well as how you save it but he wants you to have no say in his finances. I strongly advise you to hit the road running in this situation. Anyone that is THAT obsessed about making sure you get NOTHING OF HIS but he has his hand in everything of yours, is not someone id want to be with short or long term. I would suggest re-analysing YOUR reason for being with him because I'm not hearing much to love about the guy. He sounds like a narcissist who handles his money very poorly and wants you to do the same and give him a cut while you're at it. I'm sorry to be so blunt, this is just what I gather from you're presentation of the situation.
First and foremost, I have to acknowledge that FeuerroteZora wins it for SPOT ON RESPONSE. Said family member didn't have any respect for you or your career choice so I find it appalling that they would have the balls to call you in the middle of the night to begin with. Whether they value education or not, they CLEARLY do not value YOU so I would take a leak on them if they were on fire. Please don't waste any more time thinking you are in the wrong in ANY WAY. I will however point out that the fact that you do question your choice says a lot about your character and the fact that whether you are a plummer, garbage collector, postal worker or floor mopper, you have far more integrity and class than any one of the family members who looked down on you for your life choices. Keep being a good person but don't let it eat you up. You cannot hold yourself responsible for someone else being a $#!+ human being an ultimately, THAT is why you didn't go in the first place Definitely NTJ
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