Nitemistress
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Do you have the money for the therapy your son will need when he gets older? If you haven't figured out by now that your not putting a full stop to this deplorable behaviour is only going to lead to lots of resentment and therapy. Block each and every one of them and send them a single picture of the kids once a year. Send one of them with the biggest, happiest smiles. On the back: this is what love and happiness looks like. Not spoiled, miserable brats.
Reread your first paragraph and stop. That's as far as you need to go to know that you are NTA. What you need to do is remind yourself that you are worthy of so much more than she and, apparently, your mother, are capable of giving and showing you.
For your own peace of mind, talk to a counselor or therapist. Leave the baggage your family has unceremoniously dumped on you on their doorstep. Move on , be happy and walk away throwing up unicorn hands
Next time someone feels entitled and superior because of X orXZ just say something like " no, I have to go first because I'm a redhead" or "I'm 64 inches tall " or any one of a number of ridiculous things then when they point out you make no sense tell them that you thought it was a game and you won.
Buy two t-shirts, have "Twinsies" put on them and tell her you want her to wear one everywhere you go together.
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