LuLuListens
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Absolutely NTJ! First, you need to tell Emily how much you love her and that you are sad you can't take her on this trip, but you'll plan a special day for her when you get back. The fact that your daughter/ex were willing to emotionally scar Emily in order to manipulate you is disgusting and selfish. As parents, our obligation is to provide the support our children need to become their best selves, and sometimes that means tough love. Your daughter is pursuing this relationship at the expense of her child. She needs to be forced to answer the question... What if he doesn't change? What if he is only ever willing to tolerare Emily's presence - instead of giving her the love and support a child needs to thrive? The fact that your daughter is willing to exclude her 6 y.o. from a trip to DISNEY based on the flimsy excuse Emily "isn't b***d", while ironically ignoring the fact that she isn't either, speak volumes. Your daughter may be a good person at heart, but her current behavior is without a doubt that of a bad mother. I sincerely hope she reads this thread and gets a wake up call before the hurt she is inflicting on her daughter cuts too deep.
NTJ - If your sister was introduced to someone at work, would she intentionally mispronounce their name if she didn't like it? Of course not, because that would be extremely disrespectful. Why does she think it's acceptable to disrespect her own family? If/when she has kids, she can call them whatever she like. If she persists, start intentionally mispronouncing her name. And - this is important- don't acknowledge or engage her if she calls you petty, etc. Act like you didn't hear her and continue butchering her name until she starts pronouncing her nibblings' names correctly.
ETA - Your in-laws are AHs for continuing to badger you about adopting your 3rd child after being told no. However, you absolutely owe them an apology for letting them believe you would allow it under certain terms. The fact that they agreed to your insane terms demonstrates how desperate they are to have a child. Your complete lack of empathy to how devastating infertility can be absolutely makes you an AH.