LoveForests
Metaspoon User
1
votes
9
comments
47
points
Description
User Comments
Am I Wrong For Shutting Off My Neighbor's Heat?
2 years ago
I actually don't think the apartments were literally freezing. It sounds to me like she just set the thermostat to the minimum to keep the place cold without bursting the pipes. My husband and I did that to save on utilities since our apartment had terrible insulation. It was in the fifties in Fahrenheit for our apartment, so since it was not literally freezing I think it is ok. My husband and I survived like that all winter. Regardless I think you could have involved the police when it comes to her substances. Second smoke is Terrible for your health, so I don't blame you for what you did. I just wonder why you didn't try to get the police involved.
I wish the wife had been told about him two timing her. It could help her detect if he is being unfaithful to her as well.
The lady could have meant no harm and thought that it was acceptable discipline. She might never have been told a different perspective; having no concept of the fear a child would face being placed with a none parent who then confines them to a virtual prison for a long period of time for experiencing fear and immense sadness at already being separated from their parent. She might have been raised with the cry out method in a day when it was considered best. I strongly disagree with it, but understand that a lot of unhealthy parenting concepts were considered what should be done in every generation. Like having the fathers not attend their child's birth, hospitals having babies cry out and thinking that a baby needs to cry frequently to build strong lungs. I was told a few of these baseless ideas and honestly believed some of them until someone changed my perspective. I am a much better parent because of them. I say this because I had babysat several parents who told me to use the cry it out method. Then I babysat for parents who thought it was terrible to have a baby cry at all because crying is the only way they know how to communicate a need or fear, which should be addressed humanely. There is a difference between a temper tantrum and crying to communicate. A temper tantrum should be handled differently to teach the child that behavior is unacceptable. Crying because they are scared or anxious should be handled in a comforting way that may teach them how to better express their feelings as they mature. I believe the belief is bad, not the people behind the belief. When having your child babysat be clear on what discipline or methods you are against or support. Ask what they would do in various situations to get an idea on the parenting method they use. She should have confronted her and made it clear that she didn't want her doing that to her child and why. This would be more likely to change the woman's perspective or at least actions, so she doesn't do something similar.
AITJ For Saying I Don't Want To Babysit?
2 years ago
I don't know. More context is needed. Being part of a functional family means everyone, both parents and children pitch in. I have also seen a mother basically make her oldest daughter do everything including child care, cleaning, and cooking while she just spent all day on her phone at the expense of her never being able to socialize or participate in higher level classes, but this is a rare extreme. It is more likely that both parents and teen need to learn better skills on communication and running a household so everyone gets their social life and other needs met. Instead of seeing each other as enemies see each other as a team helping each other be happy. As a young teen I was compensated for babysitting at first, but when finances became tight my single mother would do trades for chores like she agreed to do my chores for a few days in exchange for babysitting. We all had chores that rotated everyday tied to a point system, so when anyone came to visit our house it was always in excellent condition and we had a clean environment despite my mom working sixty hours a week and most of us holding full-time jobs. We also had calenders posted so we could schedule in when someone was hanging out with friends, needed the car transportation, to pick up snacks for each other, a babysitter. Despite all odds we ran a happy household well into my adulthood when all of my mother's kids were grown she still had four of them living with her plus four grandchildren. Everyone was able to work out social time, helping with household chores, shopping trips, and babysitting for the occasional date. People who came to visit were amazed that so many people could be so happy in such a small yet clean household and still have everyone get their turn with the two cars to have fun. Now as a parent with my own household, I expect my children to learn how to negotiate and be apart of the household system as well. If they want to not do a chore, they talk with someone else and exchange. When they are older and need social outlets, I will treat them with respect by letting them know in advance if I need them to babysit for a necessity or pleasure. I will also make sure in exchange they have transportation, and support in social activities and work. That is how to show respect rather than trying to control each other and deprive one another of social time. Neither the parents nor the children are supposed to be slaves.
Load More Comments
Story Votes
AITJ For Saying I Don't Want To Babysit?
2 years ago
Upvote