Lmcc
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YTJ you knew he wouldn't like it, you knew he wouldn't eat it, you ordered it anyway, you gave him someone else's dessert. YTJ.
You could have ordered it for yourself and given him a bite, while ordering him something you knew he would like, he is 4. While he doesn't have to eat something he doesn't like, he doesn't get to eat someone else's. Mommy knows you wont like it, insist on ordering it anyway, suffer the consequences of no dessert for you. No lesson learned here. And you were a jerk to your husband.
She is out of line. Feeling bad about herself doesn't mean she gets to fuss about you. You aren't making her feel bad, she feels bad and is blaming you. What was she like before she got pregnant? Lazy or hard worker? Busy or coasting? Is she having a hard pregnancy or is she milking it for all it is worth? Sometimes people need a little "kick in the pants" to see that they are being a whiney baby about something that is normal, natural and no reason to sit with their feet up all day. She is lucky to have a seeming easy life. Some women work 12 hour shifts until day of delivery. Why? Because they have to do it! TBH I was the "sick the first 3 months AND the last 6 months, ALL DAY LONG.
ESH. Take the kids to the other grandparents on these occasions, if possible and enjoy the kid free evening. I have 11 grandchildren but I love getting to spend adult time with my adult kids, next to impossible with several kids needing at attention when we get together, and my GK's are very well behaved. Don't exclude the kids from holidays and anyone that demands that would be the jerk but the occasional dinner or lunch with your parents and sibling is fine. Go be an adult and enjoy it. I could never have a conversation with my mom if my kids were around. She would only pay attention to them or interrupt what we were doing to see about them. Extremely frustrating so I know whereof I speak.
Put the money into an account that neither of you can touch. Set it up in the child's name to be accessed when he is 18 or 21 or 25. You can put in money too. He will be all set for college or down payment for a house.
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