CletusSnow
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I'd flip it to embarrass him and them a little. Speak to the family members yourself and say "Hubby mentioned that you were hurt that I don't come over more often or maybe worried that I don't like you and I want you to know that's just not the case! I'm just not one who enjoys spending most or all of my free time on the go, especially if I've got stuff I need or want to do at home or am tired from work. It's not you, I've always been that way. My parents enjoyed spending time at home, too, so I come by it naturally. Promise me you won't take it personally! I enjoy time at home, but I enjoy seeing you all, too, when I've got the time and energy. Or soʻme such BS.
I would have asked her if there was a problem and if so, ask if she needed to watch you check your colostomy bag, or change your incontinence pad or whatever so that she'd feel better. She's TJ. Not every disability is visible and nobody has a right to know WHY you are using a disabled stall. Maybe you have carpal tunnel and need more space to wipe yourself. Maybe you needed to inject some insulin. Maybe you have huge movements and need more space to do it. Not my business, not hers either! Also, I'm not terribly old and had to use the electric store scooters for over a year due to severe asthma, eosiniphilic response, heart failure and physical fatigue, and also weight due to fluid retention and steroids. I learn..screw the people that side eye you. Smile at the ones that smile at you and ask for top shelf help from those that look friendly. It feels much better than watching out for/ avoiding the haters.
Get in touch with your assigned college advisor as soon as possible and explain that your mother is actively sabotaging your opportunity and ask your advisor if they know of any emergency scholarships, grants, or even loans that you would qualify for to help with textbook purchases. Contact your professors and ask if it's possible to complete the course(s) without actually owning the textbook and explain why you are asking. Honestly..some professors would loan you one, or somehow find a solution to help someone who earned a full scholarship, was eager to succeed and was still experiencing this hardship. Teachers and advisors also often know of small grants or gifts that may be available from private sources or individuals that may help cover your books for a semester or two.
She's a d i n k. If the items are not considered to be your contribution, then I guess she should pay your father for half the cost because he wasn't buying them as a gift for her. Stop discussing any finances with her that aren't your shared expenses. She doesn't need to know how much you spent, how much you have, if you used coupons, if your dad paid for it, if Santa Claus paid for it..nothing. Consider finding a new, less-petty, roommate.
If your dad handed you $100 and you bought your items with that, does it count? What about if you used a gift card that you got for your birthday? Your roommate is delulu.
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