People Won't Forget These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"Both my parents have sadly passed: My dad when I was only a young child, and my mom 2 years ago. My mom remarried while I was still young, and her husband tried to take over as "dad" for me. This led to many years of tension, and he and I never having a good relationship. I did not appreciate his attempts to force a father/daughter relationship. I hated him for it, in fact. We spent many years living in a very unhappy home until I moved out. My relationship with my mother suffered because of this. After she died, I saw no reason to maintain any relationship with him. I never considered him part of my family, and I had no love for him to want him around. He fell on some hard times some time ago and found a way to get that information to me. He asked for my help, and I ignored him. I found out from a distant relative of his, who apparently has always been in touch with him, that he is now in a nursing home. She told me he wanted to see me, and that he needed someone to help advocate for him. I said that was not my job or my concern. She told me he was my parent, and after all those years, I might have childishly resented him for trying to love me, but he was alone and had no children of his own, and I was the closest he ever got, and he happily loved me and tried to be a parent to me and make me his daughter, and I owe him more than to do nothing. I told her she was his relative, not me, and she can do something if she wants. She called me a vindictive brat and said that someone in her 30s should be more compassionate than me. AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ, honestly this mindset of kids or stepkids have to care for their parents when they don't have any kind of relationship and are basically estranged; it is dumb. That's what savings and retirement are for, heck it's up to the person to prepare for their future and take the steps to deal with it. I fail to see how it's even remotely your responsibility. It's more the relative's responsibility at this point than yours as they have maintained the relationship." Zel_lost_it Another User Comments: "NTJ forced relationships never work. The guy didn't get the ready-made family he wanted and should have planned better. That he is still clinging even after this strained your relationship with your mom, and when she died he literally had to find you, should have been a hint to not interfere in your life. That they are trying to get you to advocate for him when you don't even want to speak is a red flag. I've heard stories of people accidentally becoming responsible for medical and funeral costs while trying to help. Might be why his real relative is so upset you said no. And you are not vindictive. You just moved on from an unhappy situation. I hate people who think you have to reconcile and let toxic people back in your life to "be the bigger person."" Formal_Air1697 Another User Comments: "You have to do what is right for you. My mother passed away, and before she did, she made me promise I would not "drop" her ex-husband (my ex-stepfather) when she died. She's been gone 8 years now, and this man is a misogynistic narcissistic overweight diabetic who believes I should drop all my other responsibilities (family including grandchildren, animal rescue work, my own stage 4 cancer battle) so that I am there for him 24/7. Let me tell you - it's a nightmare. Don't do it - just don't." AussieTopCat