People Whimper Over These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I (24M) have been seeing my current partner (23M), let's call him 'K', for 5 months. Before him, I was in a relationship with my ex (24F), let's call her 'L', which lasted 6 years and ended badly on both sides; this is a sensitive subject since K has BPD and has labeled me as his "favorite person", which means he can be very jealous/possessive sometimes, so I never bring her up with him to protect our peace. I have a small tattoo above my ankle that matches with L. Nothing too personal at first glance, it's just thin linework of a flower (her choice), and I have good memories attached to it, regardless of how our relationship ended. The issue is that K hadn't known about this tattoo, as I never thought it was important to bring it up with him. However, some days ago he happened to see it and got curious about it, asking why I kept it hidden (I didn't, it just happens to be in a place that's always covered in some way or another), and what it meant as I'm not a flower guy by any means. I felt bad about lying to him so I just told the truth, making sure to emphasize how it didn't mean the same to me anymore, but I still thought it was a nice tattoo. K got very upset, went home, and then texted me demanding I get the tattoo covered up or removed, saying I wouldn't be hesitant about it if I cared about him, and that this clearly shows I haven't gotten over L. He even offered to pay for laser removal or a cover-up piece, and then insisted if I picked the cover-up, it had to be something matching him now. I explained I had no intention of removing it, laser sounds expensive and tedious, and I didn't want to get another tattoo over it either, since it'd have to be a bigger piece and I'm not a tattoo enthusiast, but to be honest, the main reason is that I just don't want to get another matching tattoo with anyone again. I'm at a loss here, he's refusing to talk to me and texted me saying he doesn't want to see me unless it's to book an appointment together, I know this is probably his mental illness talking for him but he's never gotten this upset at me before. I'm used to talking him down from being extremely self-deprecating, but this I'm unequipped to deal with; I can't help but feel like a jerk for not going along with it and letting things go back to normal since the issue is fully on me this time. So AITJ?" Another User Comments: "Your man is demanding you get a tattoo removed or covered up after five months together. He’s also jealous and possessive, to the point where you don’t talk about former relationships to “protect our peace”.  When you did not agree to do what he wanted you to do *with your body*, he gave you the silent treatment.  The issue is not fully on you this time. It’s him. It’s all him. You’re NTJ, and your man is a walking red flag. " dryadduinath Another User Comments: "NTJ. This tattoo is a part of you, like L was a part of your life once, shaping you and making you who you are now. You wouldn't be the same person if you hadn't been with L, with or without the bad ending. It's your history. It has nothing to do with your current feelings for L. These feelings of insecurity or jealousy are on K. He is in no position to demand a bodily chance of you. His demands and manipulative attitude may have to do with his mental instability. You have to consider whether this is something you want to deal with for the rest of your life. It's this tattoo now, but what's next?" ladyxochi Another User Comments: "NTJ. TBH, I have a “matching” tattoo with my ex-fiancé. We got each other’s names in each other’s handwriting on our ribs. I don’t see it often, but I have a lot of other tattoos and I do mention I have it whenever I start talking to someone new. I talked about it with my current partner the first month we were together and straight up told him that even though I’m over my ex, I wouldn’t get it covered or removed for two reasons. I don’t like living with regrets and no matter how badly my ex hurt me, I got it during a time I was significantly happy with a person that meant everything to me at that time, and getting anything done in that spot is going to suck because it’s really sensitive and it’s between two scars from when I had a port-a-cath. My partner understands and wouldn’t ever force me to remove or cover it. And it doesn’t affect anything between us because we never see it anyway. It doesn’t change the fact that we love each other now. We talked about getting matching tattoos with each other and while he never wanted to with his past partners, he wants to with me because he knows I’m his future wife and isn’t afraid of the permanence it would hold for us. Tattoos also don’t ALWAYS have to have a meaning or that meaning could change as we navigate through life. I have a freaking razor scooter on my ankle and a bee on my knee. Tattoos could just be something you liked or just be a testament to you living life." Ill_Island_2662