People Whimper Over These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I (30 m) was married to my ex-wife for three years. We got married at 18. We had two kids together. We got divorced. She moved on, married, and had another child with her now husband. I did the same, but later, with my late wife. She and I also had two kids together. So my ex-wife has primary custody of our two kids that we have together, so they are with her I think it's 85% of the time. I get them 8 days a month. She is a stay-at-home mom, which is their business. My kids seem never to need anything they don't have so it's not my concern. But recently my wife passed away, and as she had decided to be a SAHM even though we couldn't really afford it, now there's no one to watch the two kids we have together. My ex offered to watch one of my boys while I took the other to the doctor one day because I called her to let her know since what he had was contagious. So I accepted the offer. She then after I got back with my sick son offered to watch them until I could find someone more permanent. Also, she offered to do this for free. It's been four months since the boys have been staying with her during the day and they have a great time and enjoy spending extra time with their brother and sister and my ex's son with her husband. My late wife's family kind of distanced themselves when she passed, which I can understand, but they recently reached back out and her mom wants to keep the boys while I work and I told her I have childcare taken care of. Needless to say when she found out my ex-wife was the childcare she and everyone else hit the roof. They said I was disrespecting my wife's memory by handing her children off to another woman to raise and also called my ex a lot of things I'm not gonna list here. They think she's doing this to get back together with me and "take over" my kids with my wife. I don't think so, at all.... she's married. But am I being disrespectful? It's getting in my head now. I don't in any way want to disrespect my sweet wife's memory. The two of them got along well. My wife always said my ex was a great mom any time she was brought up. I honestly don't see an issue. My ex takes care of them like she does the two we have plus hers and they get to see their siblings daily. AITJ?" Another User Comments:  "To me, this reads like a super nice gesture of support when she knows that you've had a very rough time. I won't expect it to be indefinite (and you wrote "until I could find someone more permanent") (and it's super expensive cost-wise). I suspect people will want to know how old your kids are and how long it's been since you lost your wife. I also suspect that a relevant question is: have you told your ex-wife that your MIL is willing to look after the kids? And indeed: do you think your MIL would be good at it? I've certainly seen stranger set-ups although I'd expect you to be sending a reasonable amount of money to your ex to cover costs." joereddington