People Are Up Thinking About Their “Am I The Jerk?” Situations

"I'm (17f) mentally ill. I inherited mental illness from my mom. Something that destroyed her life not long after I was born. She was sick for years, her family didn't always recognize something was badly wrong, she lived a pretty typical life until she got pregnant with me and then pregnancy hormones made her untreated mental illness so much worse. My parents were married and my dad sort of buried his head in the sand even as mom got worse. She left when I was 2. I saw her occasionally after that but she was never a big presence in my life. She was too sick to be. She was so far gone and her family tried to help her but she rejected help. She was hospitalized a few times but always ended up back where she began. My dad ignored the warnings that I could inherit mental illness from my mom. He decided I was perfect and we would be perfect. He moved on from the marriage and liked to pretend everything was fine. He married someone who was pretty awful about mental illness and she was hard for me to be around. I don't know where all her views came from but they meant mental illness was stigmatized in the household and it made it even easier for Dad to ignore when I started showing signs. It was something I was told time after time not to bring up. Then he'd say mom was just a bad person and his wife would say I should be glad they weren't trying to turn me into a freak like my mom's family was, because they saw the signs and they tried speaking out too. It freaked me out that I could get worse. Especially when teachers and people at school started to notice. In the end, I turned 13 and found myself having multiple breakdowns a week because I could tell something wasn't right. My grandparents ended up fighting and winning custody of me thanks to the concerns about my mental health and my dad's outright refusal to address it. He told a judge he would not take me to any "head doctor" about it. And I was diagnosed within weeks of my grandparents getting custody and I still live with them today. I am court-ordered to see my dad and his family still. But I'm just waiting until I can sever contact. My dad spends his time with me badmouthing my mom's family. He blames them for how I ended up and for making me think something was wrong with me. How they did this when he really didn't let me see them is beyond me. But he believes it. So does his wife. They tell their kids that too. And I was at his house for a dinner Wednesday (court ordered) and he complained about not having custody and my grandparents again and I lost my temper and told him he would have let me get like mom if it weren't for my grandparents and my aunts who did everything they could for me. I told him I would never be okay with him ignoring the signs like that. Both my dad and his wife told me I was rude in their home and around their kids and clearly my grandparents are letting me behave like a spiteful little girl still. AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ. It is clear that Dad and step are the jerks, not you. At 17, just refuse to go. They probably won’t take your grandparents to court. If they do, you’ll be 18 or close by the time they get a court date. Block them on everything and move on. On the off chance they get into court before you turn 18, tell the judge everything they say about you and your mom and their neglect of your mental health. Most judges won’t make you go." LouisV25 Another User Comments: "Just hold on. You are almost 18 and you can go no contact. Because he is horrible. You are strong. Very strong. With a good support system. Keep telling your truth to him and stepmom. Don’t let their attitudes bother you. (Easier said than done, I know). Get a big calendar - one that has all the months on one page. Hang it on the wall. After every forced visit go home and X out that date. You will be one visit closer to never having to see them again. The finish line is in sight. Stay strong and take care of yourself." PurpleStar1965 Another User Comments: "NTJ. As someone who is autistic, this makes my blood boil. You're seventeen, is there no way you can get a professional to help you get the judge to cut off the visits now? They're clearly detrimental to your mental health, which is already something that you're struggling with. I would, backed by the professional, say that being made to visit people who deny that mental health is a real issue that can't just be bullied away is very detrimental to your well-being, and it's not in your best interest to keep up the visits. I at least hope that, when you're a legal adult, you can invoke that fact and make it clear that you aren't going to interact with people who damage your mental health." NotAFloorTank