People Toe The Line Between Right And Wrong In These “Am I The Jerk?” Stories

"I invited my friends over for a housewarming to celebrate me moving into my dream home. It's a place I've been saving and working super hard for (something that all of my friends are aware of) and everyone was happy to come over and celebrate the milestone.

The issue is that one of my friends ("Suzy") is a popular vlogger. She asked if she could film part of the party to include in her "day in the life" video. I'm super private, so I said no at first, but Suzy promised she wouldn't show anything personal and only wanted a couple of scenes of my friends laughing together and footage of the food spread.

She also promised I wouldn't be in the video.

I was still uncomfortable, but after she assured me she wouldn't overshare, I said fine.

The day of, within 10 minutes of the party starting, a mutual friend pulled me aside and said that she saw Suzy filming her intro and mentioned giving a "house tour" of her friend's new home.

She also said that she saw Suzy filming the outside of my home from top to bottom, and it would be easy to tell the neighborhood I lived in.

During the entirety of the party, I noticed that Suzy kept filming more than what she promised, so I confronted her about it.

I asked to see the footage, and Suzy said "no", and acted super offended that I wouldn't trust her.

I waited towards the end of the party, and when Suzy was in the bathroom before leaving, I decided to just go through her camera. I was furious when I noticed that she filmed my whole home (even my bedroom and closet), and there were tons of clips where you could clearly see my face.

I'm not kidding when I say that the footage looked like one of those home tour videos that realtors post online.

I can admit that I was acting on impulse and my anger at this point, but I went ahead and just deleted all of the footage of the party.

She found out shortly after when she went to shoot footage of everyone leaving and confronted me. I did admit to doing it, and we had a bit of a row until I just kicked her out. Most of my friends are understanding and "on my side", but they did say that I shouldn't have gone and deleted the footage myself. I personally felt like I did the nice way of asking Suzy directly first, but she was being so obstinate that I had no choice.

The drama's been spreading around now with mixed reactions, so I wanted another opinion in case I really was the jerk."

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. She would have posted that on her socials and then what? She'll take it down once you see it? I doubt it. You took the right action because she completely invaded your privacy and your new home. Also, it's possible that someone will show up at your house if they know where it is.

I've heard countless horror stories from influencers being stalked just because someone recognized the neighborhood. Not cool." Reddit User

Another User Comments:

"From start to finish she disrespected your boundaries set. First and foremost she lied to you off the rip and had no intentions of following suit.

You don't "accidentally" take footage of someone's entire house inside and outside. It's also completely and entirely irrelevant if she's freaking George Lucas or a Major TV star you just don't do that. Her "job" isn't more important than your safety and peace of mind. Second, there is no guarantee whatsoever of what she would and wouldn't use, and was offended that you found out and deleted it. Then why show it to another friend but not you the owner of the home??  OP NTJ she needs to apologize in full for lying, taking exposing photos of your home, and her attitude toward it. This reeks of a lack of accountability. Being a vlogger doesn't give you a free pass to be a jerk." KeckleonKing

Another User Comments:

"NTJ like at all. She is selfish and cares more about her online presence than she does about you and your privacy.

She was happy to go back on her word and then lie about it. If you'd asked her to delete the footage, she'd just lie about that too. Any friends who side with her are in for a rude awakening when she decides to violate their privacy too. I would never invite this person to my house again, no exceptions." SLJ7