People Start Debates In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I (19f) live with my mom (50sf) and my brother (17m). Our house has a main bathroom that I use to shower. My brother also uses it. Last night, I got home from an evening shift at work (it's part-time, so it was only 8 pm) and went to take a shower. I noticed then that my brother had pooped while I was gone and left it. I knew it was him because I would have remembered if I did it, and my mom uses her own bathroom. I didn't want to shower in a stinky room, and my brother has a pattern of forgetting to flush the toilet, so I reminded him that there was poop in there. He was short with me as soon as I got his attention, so I told him to flush it more directly. When he didn't, I raised my voice and told him again. He told me he had said that he needed a minute (which I didn't hear and, at the time, didn't believe, considering his attitude). He also told me not to get in his room, which I hadn't. Here's where I might be the jerk: I went to his doorway and told him again. I wouldn't do things like that to bug him if he didn't have a pattern of being rude, entitled, and not listening to reminders, but at that point I'd had enough. I was tired. So I stood in his doorway for a couple minutes. I saw that he was watching YouTube and playing Lego: Two non-urgent things he could put down for twenty seconds and come back to, but he didn't budge. I then told him that it had been a lot more than a minute, and that he needed to flush. He told me I was having a tantrum and to get out of his room (which I wasn't in) before closing the door on me. I started banging on the door and screaming that I'd leave once he flushed the darn toilet. At this point our mom heard it and asked what we were yelling about, and I told her that he'd forgotten to flush the toilet again and that he won't do it now. My brother tried to correct me, only telling her that I was screaming at him, and that I could've flushed the toilet and not had any problems. But there was a problem: He thinks he can tell us to clean up after him, and we're overdramatic if we don't. That's the only reason why I said anything in the first place. Again, if he had just forgotten one time, or if he didn't talk to us this way constantly, I would have flushed it myself. But I deserve better than to be contempted and gaslit on a daily basis for expecting my family to treat one another respectfully. My mom started getting on my brother by asking him why he didn't flush it when he went, but then when he started pushing back, she told me to flush it because it was easier. I said I wouldn't, because it wasn't mine, and she got mad at me. I ended up not showering. I feel like I'm going crazy. I know this is the stupidest thing to fight over, but I think that in a normal family, he would have flushed it after the first reminder, or said “no problem, just let me finish this” and let us troubleshoot from there, instead of expecting us to wait on him or do things when he wanted. AITJ?" Another User Comments: "Honestly, I insist my toddler grandchildren flush the toilet and wash their hands. It's pretty basic stuff that everyone should do as a matter of course. If a 3 year old can manage, there's no excuse for a grown young adult. It's a life skill. One day he's going to live with a partner and they'll be a lot less tolerant." BackgroundGate3 Another User Comments: "NTJ. "She got mad at me. I ended up not showering." Your brother has a lifetime of engineering these endings, where nothing happens to him, and you're the one in trouble and you're the one who gets screwed. You aren't in a position to change this. For your own sanity, I suggest handling it just a little longer. Flush the toilet, so you can have a shower. Bide your time. As soon as possible, leave for college or someplace else. And never live with him again." pukui7 Another User Comments: "I'm not going to say not the jerk, but I understand where you're coming from. Yes, could have just flushed, taken a shower, and told the idiot he needs to learn HOW A TOILET OPERATES. Or you might just get a little revenge, like I, to get such pleasure. If you can get a squirt bottle, like for window cleaning, make sure it's clean. Put water in it, squirt it, so you know it's a stream, and you know distance. Next time he leaves you a chode surprise, get your squirt gun, stand at a good distance from the target (in a room with his back turned), then squirt a couple times. Tell him "it's his crap water," then turn and RUN LIKE HECK. If he is not going to act like an adult, courteous, 5-year-old kids know how to do that. Treat him like a child. Maybe he needs to be shown how to operate a toilet again. Keep your squirt gun handy for other offenses. Just my opinion, don't get hurt. Good luck." KickinBIGdrum26