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"I (19f) live with my partner (19M) and his parents. We live upstairs, which consists of two bedrooms and a bathroom. My partner and I use one bedroom and use the other for our snacks and drinks. My older sister (23f) recently came out of rehab and asked if my partner and I would be willing to let her use our spare room for her and my niece. I told her no. For some background, I have always had a soft spot for her and my niece, and she knows it. I gave her money before that she said she was going to use for my niece, but I actually found out she was using the money for pills and booze. Also, not too long before she left for rehab, I found out she had been stealing money from my partner and me. When confronted, she denied it, but I know it was her. So, when she asked me to let her and my niece stay with her, I wasn't comfortable. Only because she would be here by herself during the day, and that means she would be alone with all my valuable items. So anyways, when some family and friends found out that I wasn't letting her stay here, they said I was being selfish and rude, but when I asked them if she could stay with them, they never got back to me. I feel terrible for not being able to provide my niece with somewhere to stay, but I'm not at a place where I can trust my sister just yet. So am I the jerk?" Another User Comments: "NTJ - You've already tried to help and she's already stolen. Sadly, you've crossed your line. Some junkies never get better and keep messing with family until there's no one left to help them. At some point, they need to take responsibility. Also, you stay with your partner's parents, so you can't put that on them" tipareth1978 Another User Comments: "NTJ. It's not your house; you don't have the right to invite anyone to stay there. Good thing the parents don't want her there either. Easy out for you. Don't feel guilty about it in the least, and don't let her manipulate you using her daughter. Perfect response to family who are sticking their nose in it—it’s funny how you are condemned for not taking her in, but they don't want her either. Rest easy, you are in the clear." Safe_Competition_671 Another User Comments: "NTJ. The only way to find out if it’s a terrible idea is if you let her move in and she relapses. It’s just too risky, not only because she’ll steal from you but because of the chaos she’ll bring to your household when she’s using. Your sister really does need to figure out how to make a life for herself. If it means government housing and food stamps, at least it’s a start. The problem with providing housing is that she’ll get it in her head that you’ll be the one to keep her butt off the bottom. It’s a terrible idea." diskebbin
