People Are Reluctant To Admit Wrongdoing In These “Am I The Jerk?” Stories

"My partner had asked me a year ago if she could get guinea pigs. She had told me that she would pay for them, pay for their cages, pay for their food, etc. I told her that I was okay with it, as long as she could find the space with natural light. She is in online school full-time, so she is home all the time. I work a lot and am not home often. She had told me that she wanted them because it would help her with feeling lonely at home while I'm at work. A month ago, her mom had called her telling her that she found the "perfect guinea" for her, she grabbed her things and met her mom at the pet store. She then came back home with all the pet supplies along with a guinea pig. She apologized, and reminded me of what the deal was, and that I had agreed to it. My standing didn't change on it. However, after a couple of weeks, she had been buying food, toys, pads, etc. She asked for me to pay half of the bill, and told me that the guinea pig was for us and not only her. I was irritated but reminded her what she had said when asking me if it was okay to get one. Fast forward to last weekend, she wanted to get a second guinea pig because they need to come in pairs, as they are a social animal, "human attention is not a substitute". The night before she was frustrated with her financial status because she is a student. I sent her money for half of her second guinea pig because I felt bad and knew that it would help her, and her guinea pig out. My partner is now asking me to pay for half of all the pet stuff moving forward. Because I helped her pay for her second guinea pig, so technically it's "half mine"??? I reminded her again about what she had said when asking to get them. I also asked her "Why did you get them if you aren't willing to pay for their needs?". I also told her "I paid for half of it to help you, and your current guinea pigs mental health out. I was being nice." I didn't want her not to get it because she didn't want to pay the full $50 (or whatever the price is for one) and then her current guinea pig continues to be stressed, and depressed because it's alone. I fostered cats and dogs throughout the year, I told her that I have no problems going to the pet store and buying food once in awhile if she can't, I am not inhumane. However, she brought them into my home under her conditions and is now trying to pull a 180 on me. Am I the jerk?" Another User Comments: "NTJ, but you shouldn't have paid for the second guinea pig. Your partner knew before buying the first that they needed to be in pairs. She probably also knows how expensive they are. It's a common myth that guinea pigs are cheap. In reality, they are quite expensive. She should know that two guinea pigs will cost her about $100 a month in supplies. In addition to pads and bedding, you'll want fresh veggies and a good source of vitamin C for them. They'll need stuff to keep their teeth chew down. You're going to need stuff for me to stimulate. What happens if the guinea pigs don't like each other and you need to have a second cage? She wasn't ready to take them on. If she can not pay for them, she needs to return them. I'll never forget my friend who paid almost $600 when her guinea pig had a UTI. A wellness check is going to cost you a minimum of $50." camebacklate Another User Comments: "If you want a pet, you need to do research on that pet and be able to afford that pet. I have a cat because I wasn’t in a space where two guinea pigs were feasible for me - it’s one of the first things you learn about them when you do said research. The problem here is that maintaining boundaries is often more difficult than setting them, especially if you are known as a flexible or accommodating person (neither quality is a negative one, to be clear). She 100% should pay and it was really irresponsible to only get one, then act like they’re “for both of you” when you made it abundantly clear multiple times that the pet was and is not your responsibility. NTJ but please do not let her push the responsibility on you. Pets are great, but they’re also a lot of work, and as an adult, your partner should know that." ZucchiniDependent797 Another User Comments: "NTJ. You did great, though I'm not sure if you should have contributed toward the second pig. You and your partner had an agreement. Those are her pets, not yours, it’s on her to take care of them. She can’t try changing the rules now that she’s aware of the reality of the situation. She doesn’t have the money or would prefer to spend it on other things, and that’s okay but she has to admit that to herself. She bit off more than she could chew and it’s not up to you to save her, it’s not what you agreed to, and changing your mind would set a bad precedent for the future. Stick to your agreement." EJ_1004