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"So my roommate and I (22M) hosted a house party last night. There were about 25 people over and some people I had just met in the past week or even for the first time that evening.
My room is very messy at the moment. I moved in two months ago and have been putting off buying a bed frame, shelves, etc because I work 70-80 hours a week and have been using weekends to catch up on life admin like taxes, planning trips, etc, and relaxing.
I'll admit it's been two months and I need to pull the trigger and sort out my room (stuff still in suitcases, clothes on the floor, etc) but this past week was especially busy at work and I didn't have time to clean my room up before the party. I asked my roommate to close my door since guests would be in the (tidy) living room anyway.I end up chilling in my room with a few friends during the party, sitting on the floor and talking/drinking.
My partner (29M) comes in and starts roasting me about the state of my room in front of my three friends, telling them how annoying it is that I won't buy a bed frame, that he's gonna force me to not sleep over at his until I sort my room out, etc.
I was a little embarrassed by this but brushed it off in a joking way. He's also never told me he would force me to not sleep over but I thought to myself “Whatever, it’s just a snide/joking remark.”
He then goes away and brings like 6 new people in the gawk at the state of my room.
Some of these people (like his friend who’s visiting) I had met for the first time that evening. They start making ironic comments like “Wow nice room dude” and “The mattress on the ground is a nice touch.” I felt super embarrassed but wasn’t gonna lose it in front of these new people, so I joked about it, said I had worked 80 hours this week and didn’t have time to clean, etc.People leave my room and I pull my partner back inside and shut the door. I start crying and asking him “Why did you do that? Why do you think it’s funny to embarrass me in front of everyone? That was so messed up” etc.
He gives me a long hug and says he’s sorry over and over and that he doesn’t know why he did that. I say I would never embarrass a friend in front of other people like that especially not my partner. My partner asked me if I would like to help clean my room, which I said was nice of him to offer but I could do it myself and it didn’t have to do with the fact that he embarrassed me in front of everyone and used my insecurity to make a joke.
I told my roommate about what happened and he said my partner was just doing that to “nudge me in the right direction” to clean my room. I guess it worked because I’m going to spend the day cleaning today.
AITJ for getting upset with my partner here?"
Another User Comments:
"NTJ and your partner even acknowledged what he did was wrong. Hopefully, you have a clear talk about boundaries and what's ok to discuss in private Vs publicly. I'd be mortified if my partner did that and probably threw a fit, you handled it remarkably well." TeferiCanBeaJerk
Another User Comments:
"If you didn’t want anyone in your room then why were you hanging out in your room? If you weren’t in there you wouldn’t have this problem. Hopefully, your partner motivated you to clean your room. btw — no one cares if you have a messy house but it is considered rude to separate yourself from your guests & host a party in your bedroom.
YTJ" Alarming_Reply_6286