People Need A Heart-To-Heart After Telling Their “Am I The Jerk?” Stories

"I (18F) am in a really tough spot and could use some outside perspective.

My friend, Emily (18F), recently got kicked out of her house by her parents and asked if she could move in with me. I said no, and now I'm wondering if I did the right thing.

Here's some background: Emily and I have been friends since middle school.

We've always been pretty close, and she's helped me through some tough times. However, Emily has always been a bit of a troublemaker. She parties a lot, skips school, and doesn't really take responsibility for her actions. Her parents have warned her multiple times, and I guess they finally had enough and kicked her out.

When Emily called me, she was in tears and said she had nowhere else to go. She begged me to let her stay with me and my family. The problem is, I still live at home with my parents and younger siblings. My parents are super strict and don't really like Emily because of her behavior.

Plus, we don't have a lot of extra space, and I know my parents wouldn't be okay with it.

I told Emily that I couldn't let her move in and explained my reasons. She got really upset and said that I was her only friend and that she had nowhere else to go.

She accused me of abandoning her when she needed me the most. I felt terrible, but I stood my ground.

Since then, Emily has been posting on social media about how I betrayed her and how she has no one to rely on. Some of our mutual friends have reached out to me, saying that I should help her out because she's in a really bad situation.

Now I'm feeling guilty and wondering if I should have tried harder to convince my parents or found some other way to help her.

So, AITJ for refusing to let my friend live with me after she got kicked out?"

Another User Comments:

""Some of our mutual friends have reached out to me, saying that I should help her out because she's in a really bad situation" - why aren’t they helping her by offering shelter?

You have very good reasons for saying no, and very importantly, it is not your place to invite someone to your family's home, run by your parents, and where more people than just you live. Emily seems toxic. For her to have been kicked out by her parents seems very extreme. She may have exhausted all their patience so I see where they come from; on the other hand, she is now exposed and vulnerable. However, it is not your problem to solve, and neither is it your responsibility to take. To all those who appeal to you for being a helping friend to Emily, you can reciprocate with the same appeal. And in any way, you are NTJ. Stay clear of Emily, she seems a lot of trouble." Artistic_Thought7309

Another User Comments:

"Honey, you can’t be a jerk for refusing to let someone live in a place you don’t own and can’t authorize her moving into. And we won’t even talk about who is supposed to support her financially while she’s living rent-free in your house.

Ignore the childish online commentary. Anyone who holds it against you without listening to your side of the story is not a friend and they can always house her if they don’t like that you aren’t. There’s also a good chance that this so-called friendship won’t survive you going off to college, so don’t lose any sleep over this whole soap opera." IBelieveYouSure62

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. It wasn't something that you had the authority to choose to do. It's your parents' home. Yes, yours too, but there are certain things that come with taking on certain residency responsibilities that are above your level. It's actually good that you told her no straight away instead of making false promises.

You can look up low or no-cost housing in your area and send her the info. Send her the info to sign up for state SNAP and health insurance services. But past that, let it be. You already said that she doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Her blaming you is no different. Don't take on guilt and responsibility that don't belong to you." Here_IGuess