People Can't Move Past Conflict In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"Early on in our marriage, I shared with my wife how my parents would buy treats and not share them with us kids. We were dirt poor to the point of going hungry, and sometimes they would buy things like ice cream or Fritos or something like that, and it was hands-off for the kids. So now here we are with four kids of our own. We are not poor, but we are not rich. We have an overstocked snack cupboard and the kids don't want for anything. They are free to get snacks as they want. We rarely deny them what they ask for. When we have a treat everyone gets it. I really enjoy sitting down and drinking a cold sparkling water. Like a Bubly or a La Croix, etc. It calms me down. My therapist even recommended it as a way to restart. The thing is the kids also love sparkling water, so when we buy a 12-pack, it is gone in less than two days. Sure, I've had a couple, but when I want one again, they are all gone. Sometimes, we will go crazy and buy a couple of Costco packs, which just means that everyone drinks them at double the rate, and when I want one, they are once again gone. Even if I had expected there to be some. I don't think it's a wise budget move for everyone in the family to constantly be drinking sparkling water, especially when we are trying to save money, but I want one when I want one. My wife and kids think this is selfish, and my wife will remind me what I told her about my own family. I want to be able to enjoy a sparkling water when I want, without the fear of them being gone. Sometimes, I will hide a couple in the fridge and be extra upset when I discover they are gone. Shouldn't I, at age 44, be allowed to have something of my own like sparkling water!? I've considered buying my own mini-fridge, but that seems ridiculous, and it's not cost- or energy-effective, and how would that be different? I've asked my family to help me resolve this, and they just think I'm being selfish and should just go without sparkling water when everyone else goes without, and have some when everyone else is having some. AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ, I don’t think it’s wrong to want your own treat and not have to rush to beat others to it. I came from a family where everything is game and married into one where you gotta ask if someone bought something for themselves. I like the way the family I married into does it. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries on things you buy for yourself as long as you’re cool with the kids and wife also doing that for themselves. But that sort of thing would need to be agreed upon with your wife in order to take effect. You should talk to your wife about everyone getting to buy one thing that no one else touches (without at least asking first). It’s good to learn boundaries and learn that not everyone’s food is your food." frickinsleepless Another User Comments: "NTJ, but the point of a treat is that it is exactly that. It's not something that's on tap (excuse the pun). 1) Get rid of the treat cupboard to start. The fact they can have anything they want, whenever, means they aren't appreciating it. 2) Go shopping as a family. Give EVERYONE either a budget or a treat limit that they can purchase as they wish. 3) Be clear that these are their treats, and once they are gone, they are gone until the next week. You don't get to dip into other people's treats, including your water, unless they are specifically offered to you by the owner." [deleted] Another User Comments: "NTJ. When we were kids, my mum always had a bottle of Ribena (gorgeous blackcurrant cordial) that we were never allowed. It was her favourite and we would have downed that bottle in two days. We wanted it. The answer was no. There were plenty of other drinks to be had, and they were ours. I would get a SodaStream or a similar item from another company. Your kids need to learn that they can't have everything just because they want it. Sharing only goes so far, and you should be allowed to have your own treats." PersimmonBasket