People Get Mindful About These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"My 2012 Toyota Sienna has over 200,000 miles on it and has recently become unreliable. A few weeks ago, I had a terrifying experience while driving on the highway with my three kids. I needed to urgently switch lanes to avoid an incident up ahead when the car in front of me cut me off and abruptly stopped in the middle of the lane. I swerved to miss them and slammed on the brakes to avoid going off the shoulder and into a ditch. My car came to an abrupt stop midway in the right lane of the highway, and then it just...died. It had no power, wouldn't turn on, and I couldn't even put it into neutral to push it off the highway. We were sitting ducks, with traffic going 65 mph or more, and I was terrified we would be broadsided. As I was calling 911, I was trying to decide if I should have my kids get out of the car and stand on the side of the ditch or if we were safer buckled in the vehicle. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. A kind man stopped to help me, but even he couldn't get the car to turn on or move. After what felt like an eternity, he managed to get it to start, and it limped onto the shoulder. I was incredibly grateful and called my husband to tell him what had happened and ask him to come and get us so we could tow the van home. To my shock, he refused because he had a Zoom meeting. It was a meeting he attends but doesn't actively participate in, one that he could have easily been excused from. Feeling completely overwhelmed and not thinking clearly, I ended up driving home in the van. Once home, my husband looked into the issue and believed that the main battery power cord had been disconnected. He cleaned it, tightened the screws, and since then, the van has mostly worked fine. However, I no longer feel comfortable driving the van. It let me down when I needed it most, putting my children and me at serious risk. We have the money, both in cash and the ability to finance, to get me a used car to replace the van. But my husband thinks that I should continue driving the van because he believes he fixed the issue and that it runs fine now. So, AITJ for refusing to drive the van anymore?" Another User Comments: "NTJ He didn't come to tow you all or even call roadside assistance to tow you because of a meeting he’s not even an active participant in…wow. That’s terrible and what a terrifying experience. I would get the vehicle checked out by Toyota, but let your husband take it to them (without the children in the van). It very well could have served its time or end up costing more to repair than it’s worth. Also, have a serious conversation about where your family and their safety fall into your husband’s list of priorities." chaenukyun Another User Comments: "NTJ First step get AAA. They are great in emergencies for towing and dead batteries. Even mechanic discounts. Second, tell your husband to trade your daily drivers. You'll take him, he takes yours. If this is a no sell your van and get a different vehicle. Third, if the van is kept take it in for an inspection or diagnosis." Forward_Nothing5979 Another User Comments: "What's he going to do? Stand on the highway and look at the van? Do you not know how to have a broken-down vehicle moved? Take it to the shop and have it looked at or go trade it on something else. He already left you to fend for yourself. Stop depending on him, and take care of it yourself!" Appropriate_Gap1987