People Lose Control In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Confessions

"I (M 21) met my partner (M 24) — let’s call him Aiden — in the parking lot at Planet Fitness. We started as gym buddies, and eventually, we began seeing each other.

4 months into our relationship, Aiden would come over to my apartment and stay over on an irregular but somewhat consistent basis, and I always had a hot meal prepared for him, especially when he’s had a long day at work.

Aiden invited me to his home because he wanted me to meet his close friends, who are also his roommates – we’ll call them Ricky, Miguel and Juan. The rest of the night went smoothly, I met his friends and the girls they had over.

They’re cool dudes, but I'm pretty sure they’re all jerks — funny enough, they all come from wealthy backgrounds, including Aiden.

For the next two weeks, I began visiting Aiden’s home and staying the night regularly. And, of course, I was cooking for him.

One night I was cooking for Aiden, then Ricky and Miguel asked me if I made enough for them, I thought they were joking when they asked me that, so I playfully said “Nah.” I quickly found out they weren’t joking when Ricky said, “Why not?” in a serious tone, and Miguel cosigned it by saying, “Serious.” My response was, “I’m not in a relationship with any of you,” then out of nowhere, Juan chimed in, saying, “Bro, that doesn’t mean anything, Aiden isn’t the only person that lives here.” Ricky told me that if I was going to cook, I had to cook for everybody. When Aiden came home and got settled in, I told him what happened and he told me that he’ll handle it.

So the next time I cooked for Aiden, I thought there wouldn’t be another issue, I thought wrong. When I came from the kitchen with only one plate, his friends went nuts.

Ricky immediately pounced and said, “So you’re still are going to cook for one person?” I snapped and said, “Bruh, if you want someone to cook for y’all so bad, then why don’t the three of you have all the females that walk through your hallways do it for y’all.” Some hours went by, and they somehow got Aiden to fold because he pleaded with me that the next time, I cooked something to make sure there was enough for his friends to get at least a little bit. I reluctantly agreed and the next two times I cooked, I made sure it was enough for his friends.

They got really comfortable with me cooking for them, too comfortable for my liking. I was sitting in the living room one day and Ricky was also present.

We sat in silence until Juan and Miguel, but then, out of nowhere, Juan said, “I’m hungry, I haven’t ate all day,” and when I looked up from my phone, they’re all staring at me and Ricky says “Aiden bro, go make us something to eat.” So, in response, I simply got up and left and I texted Aiden and told him from now on, we’re spending time at my place only.

When I told my friends what’s been going on, they sided with Aiden’s friends, saying that I was a stranger in their home and cooking almost every time I was there and not offering anything is disrespectful. So AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ.

Dump your spineless BF and get better friends. Cooking extra if you’re using BF's utensils, groceries, kitchen, etc, especially if BF is willing to do the cleanup is one thing. Having the roommates demand you cook them dinner while you’re all chilling on the couch is an entirely different kettle of fish. Forget that noise!" [deleted]

Another User Comments:

"NTJ for not cooking for them, but you're kind of the jerk for making derogatory comments about women? Idk if I’m reading too much into that but it kind of rubbed me up the wrong way. You could’ve just said why don’t you cook for yourselves…." Brookl_yn77

Another User Comments:

"Totally NTJ: These men have been taking care of their hunger issues before you entered into your relationship with Aiden. Just because you are there, does not make you theirs as well. And Aiden needs to man up in your defense. Him folding is really telling.

You do you, and keep your distance in your own space. You need to put your own sense of comfort first. If going over to their place now makes you uncomfortable...take care of you." bethmcm1