People Have High Standards In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"My mom and sister have been planning a trip for a while, and they've been begging me to go, saying they'd have more fun with me there and would feel safer having me along. I've said no multiple times because I really didn't want to go, but when my sister asked one last time, I finally agreed and bought my ticket. Right after that, she mentioned that her partner is also going and that she's planning to extend her trip a few more days without me and my mom. The whole reason I agreed to go was to watch over them and enjoy a family trip together. If I had known her partner was going, I wouldn't have agreed. Now I feel like she played me, and I'm really annoyed. Would I be the jerk if I canceled?" Another User Comments: "It's fine if you cancel. I have no idea if you were played -- although, if the partner was invited from early on, the suggestion that you would make mom and sis safer does seem a bit dishonest and manipulative. (And now sis and partner can go off on their own whenever because you can keep mom company.) But bottom line, you thought you were invited on an all-family trip with the three of you but it turns out it's something else that you didn't know about when you agreed to go. Feel free to drop out. NTJ." Nester1953 Another User Comments: "NTJ. She didn't want Mom to be a third wheel. She wanted to sneak off with the partner but felt guilty at the thought of being alone. Cancel. If there's an airline ticket involved, contact the airline. It may not be refundable but that doesn't mean you can't change it. It used to be that you had up to a year to use a ticket you canceled. You'd have to pay the difference between the old and new ticket plus a change fee. Work with the airline. When you call be super nice. Agents are yelled at a lot." Squibit314 Another User Comments: "NTJ. That said, I strongly disagree with everyone telling you that you should say you thought the trip was 'just family.' A lot of people consider their partners to be family and, if you phrase it that way and your sister is one of those people, you're going to inadvertently make it about rejecting and wanting to exclude her partner. Which will become a conflict. To be clear, I fully get that it's no longer a family trip, that this changes the nature of the trip. I just think becoming embroiled in whether or not the partner is family or whether you want to travel with him will become sticky in ways that aren't helpful. Instead, just say, 'I was hesitant to go for a host of reasons but understood you wanted me there for safety. Now that I know your partner is going and you'll have someone trusted for safety I'm less concerned about my need to be there.'" [deleted]