People Tried To Hide These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"My 5-year-old caught a baby lizard in my mom’s garden. In the act of capturing it, they cut off its tail by accident and stuck it in a box. When I came to pick her up, she excitedly told me that it was the best day of her life and proceeded to tell me the story of catching a lizard. I calmly told her that what they did was wrong. How would she feel if someone took her from me, broke off one of her fingers, and put her in a box? I told her that she needs to respect all living creatures. Lizards were made to be outside, eat bugs, bask in the sun, and live with other lizards. Now, this poor baby lizard is scared, has no family, no tail, and no idea what’s going on. She started to tear up. I told her that I wanted her to be kind, gentle, and respectful of all living creatures, big and small. I personally don’t eat meat. It’s been nine years now. I’m far from being perfectly ethical, but I try. Animal mistreatment is just one of those issues that keeps me up at night. I guess I just have a soft spot for it. I never force my views on her, or on family or friends, for that matter. She is allowed to eat whatever she wants, but she’s educated on where her food comes from. I told her I’m so happy to see her curious and excited about animals. I told her there are so many better ways to learn about them, observe them, and interact with them. If you respect animals in nature, you won’t have to capture them; they will come to you. It requires time and patience, and I would love to do that with her. Just as a garden needs sun and water, it also needs lizards and every other living creature in it. My mom helped her release it back to the garden. I also spoke to my mom. I don’t expect anything from her, but she’s so sweet. She said she didn’t mean anything malicious by it. From now on, adventures in the garden will be all about gentle curiosity and observation. It’s hours later. My little one is still sulking and quietly crying. She won’t talk to me. She doesn’t want me to touch her. My husband tried to do damage control, but she won’t even be in the same room as me. I’m doubting myself now. Should I have just let it go because she’s a kid? Was I being too harsh for ruining what was supposedly the best day of her life? Maybe I could have waited a day or two before having this talk with her? AITJ for lecturing a five-year-old about animal cruelty?" Another User Comments: "Aww. NTJ. She's just feeling her oats and maybe a little ashamed; kids do take stuff to heart, but in this case, it's for a very good reason. Age five is a really good time to have this frank conversation about empathy for animals, because children are still developing that. I've met several kids that I held my tongue when they chased down baby rabbits saying it was "abandoned" (baby bunnies are supposed to be alone) or treat bugs and reptiles like toys. When she's feeling better, try to turn the situation positive. Go herping out in the woods, or get a big bug net and a book of local insects, and go swishing in the grass. Turn it into a fun educational experience. Sounds like she likes animals too; she just needs to learn how to treat them the way she wants to be treated." halfbakedcaterpillar Another User Comments: "Soft YTJ. It's a fair lesson, but it sounds like you went way overboard with the guilting and "if I cut off one of your fingers," etc. That's kind of traumatizing, tbh. Over-anthropomorphizing animals ("now it has no family," what??) said to an impressionable child can really cause them to be overly sensitive and cause anxiety. Like, you lie awake at night worrying about animal cruelty? So do I sometimes, and I wish I didn't have to carry that emotional burden and deal with those unproductive, intrusive thoughts. There's a fine line between an appropriate amount of empathy and a burdensome, paralyzing amount of empathy, and I think you're on the wrong side and going to push her over the edge too. She didn't cut off the lizard's tail; the lizard dropped it as a normal defensive response against predators. It will grow back. It's not a trivial thing for the lizard, but not the end of its life either. Trying to catch a lizard is a normal childhood action. This is not animal cruelty. A better response would have been "Oh wow, look how special it is! Ok, let's let him go now; wild animals don't like to be held, it's a little scary for them, let's say thank you for visiting and let him go about his life."" Apple_Dalia