People Get Heated Over These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"So I (32F) live with my partner (51M) and his father (67M) and my son.

I knew going into this that my FIL is a bit difficult to deal with and that I have to take things with a grain of salt.

However, I wasn’t prepared to have to take every day and almost every conversation with a grain of salt and bite my tongue.

Recently, we held a party for my son’s birthday. He gets to pick the food, dessert, decor, etc. Well, my partner brought up how we needed to make a pork butt that my mom had in the freezer (it’d been in there since May/June) since my son loves pork he was okay with it.

We sent leftovers home with people.

Well, that brought up how there was still an entire 2 lb. bag of green beans in our freezer. I told him we’ll cook it at some point in the coming week, and my FIL overheard. He asked if I ever had green bean casserole and I said “no”.

My partner and FIL were astounded and insisted it is made on Sunday because “it’s so delicious” and if I just tried it I’d like it.

My son didn’t want it and neither did I, a point which we both stated multiple times.

However, both of them kept insisting and making plans to buy the stuff and still make it Sunday. And kept telling me how you’re gonna love it and so will your son. So Sunday is the party and I’m already doing stuff. I dropped the dog off at the groomer (early morning so we could pick her up before the party), cut up veggies, made apps, and laid out everything. I also made homemade cookies since my son requested them.

My partner made the requested lasagna and put the pork butt on the grill. He mentioned that he still had so much to do and my FIL never once offered to help or tried to help with cooking any of it.

I ended up cooking the green bean casserole (never made it before and was told to follow the recipe on the back of the package) so I gave it my best shot.

As soon as it’s finished and it’s out of the oven my FIL inspects the bag of fried onions and starts to tell me how I put too many in the dish and on top.

And then question everything I did. So I bit my tongue and let it go because it was my son’s birthday party. My entire family was over.

Anyway, later that night I heard him talking to my partner about the dish and how I made it.

I was overstimulated and upset. I just told him “If you didn’t like it then the next time you can make it, or just not even suggest something if you don’t plan to make it”

My partner and his father both got upset with me.

I was told by my partner that I was being completely too harsh, and too demanding and that he shouldn’t have to cook something when my family was over. And if I didn’t want it cooked I should’ve just said so. His father is angry with me and won’t speak to me now.

Also, it may be worth mentioning it’s always like this in our house. Whenever I cook, there’s always some way I should’ve done this or that differently. This is the first time I've blown up.

AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ, except for getting into this situation.

Your partner is 19 years older and lives with an unpleasant father and this is the guy you had a kid and moved in with. Somehow he can't be expected to cook when family is over but you can. You can either experience this till they both pass away, or you can leave and actually enjoy the next 20-30 years of your life and bring your kid up in a non unpleasant environment." User