People Try To Fix Their Mistakes In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"Hi, I am 34 years old, female and my husband is 10 years older than me. He had a daughter when he was still in college (The mother and my husband were never married, and didn’t live together throughout their 4 yr relationship) and she is now 20 years old. At first, we were getting along well. Chatting and telling each other random stuff. She lives far from us with her grandparents (mother’s side). Then, as time went by, I noticed that she tended to ask me (by messaging me personally) for things like branded perfumes, and gadgets (iPhone), and even asked me to prepare funds for her debut (back when she was turning 18). I let these pass, but I’ll admit that I am kinda off about it. Then recently, she asked me to buy her an expensive perfume (Le Labo Santal 33 - Cost $335 for 100ml) and then mentioned that she doesn’t have money in the meantime to pay for it. I told my husband about this, and we decided to just give it to her as an advance bday and Christmas gift since it is too expensive. We sent her the perfume and days after she received the gift, she was asking for the receipt. I purposely did not include the receipt since for me, it is rude to include gift tags or receipts to your gifts. I asked her what she would do with the receipt, she just mentioned that her cousin wanted to buy the same one and wanted to know where we bought it. 1 week after sending her the receipt, I saw her post selling the perfume online! I called her out about this and told her that this was very impolite. She told her mom about this and they created a group chat (me, her mom, and my stepdaughter) and confronted me about this. Her mom told me that I was crazy for accusing her daughter of selling our gift and that I was paranoid and had no proof that it was the same perfume. My stepdaughter claims that she is selling her cousin’s perfume (remember her cousin who wanted to buy the same one and asked for the receipt?). What she didn’t know is that Le Labo’s labels are customized per purchase, and care cards are handwritten by those who prepared them. So technically no care cards are exactly the same. Told them about this and showed them proof and photos. The mom then mentioned that I was just crazy and told me that what MY HUSBAND was telling HER IS RIGHT; THAT I AM CRAZY. SHE SAID THAT SHE AND MY HUSBAND ARE STILL TALKING AND THEY ARE MOSTLY TALKING ABOUT HOW CRAZY I AM. She’s also claiming that my husband cannot move on from HER, hence my husband still has their family photos (Which by the way I know, and I was the one who told my stepdaughter about this when she refused to see her father. I told her that her dad loves her so much and even kept their photos because that’s the only photo of him and her daughter). Told them that I was done with them and I knew that she’d been blocked from all my husband’s social media since 2013 because apparently she did this before with my husband’s previous partners. I showed my husband all the messages. I told him that I won’t force him to pick my side or abandon his child, but I am done being nice to his daughter!!!" Another User Comments: "The ex-wife and the daughter planned this together to manipulate you and get funds out of you. The daughter is 20, you don't need to have a relationship with her. If your husband wants to, don't stand in the way but don't allow yourself to be used and insulted anymore." LongjumpingDivide985 Another User Comments: "NTJ. Go NC with the ex. Let their husband shop for her gifts. Is it possible that the ex was having her sell it for funds? The daughter (or her mother) just wants funds but doesn’t think she can ask for it is my guess. I don’t believe for a second her story about the cousin. It’d be nice to not put your husband in the middle but I’d not be buying any more gifts. I’d never give a gift that I’d be hurt finding being sold for pennies on the dollar the next week." GenRN817 Another User Comments: "You're not wrong - but this also ain't your lane. You're her peer, not her mom. You're barely 10 years older than her, you're in the same generation. This is a problem for her dad to engage in. And if he won't? You drop it - cause it's not your business. The only thing you should do her is not get involved in gift giving for her in the future knowing that your efforts will be treated like this. She's a spoiled brat and a liar - keep that in mind in your interactions going forward but leave it to her dad to fix." adudefromaspot