People Are Facing Their Issues In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I (32m) am getting married to my long-term partner Gemma (30f) at the end of November. Now Gemma and I are having a small wedding with only close family and friends invited mainly because we don't want it to be an inconvenience to others and choosing a venue is hard due to Gemma's allergy. Gemma is allergic to dogs and is terrified of them due to a freak accident when she was younger (that's also when she found out she is allergic to them). While her allergy is not deadly, even when taking anti-allergies her face would get significantly swollen, and have red marks all over it that are visible even with heavy makeup up and she would constantly sneeze. And to the issue. My sister "Kate" has diabetes and has a service dog "Lenny" to help her. I adore him and Gemma is not scared of him either, however, due to Gemma's allergies I have reminded Kate not to take Lenny to our wedding (I was dropping some parcels for her this week as she was away and they were sent to my house) as I believe my future wife should be able to enjoy her day without the swelling, which would be hard to avoid due to the venue being quite small and private (Gemma gets the reaction even if there's a dog in the same supermarket even if it doesn't touch her). My sister has been reminded he is a service animal and I can't ask her not to take him, but I have told her he is still a dog, and being a service animal doesn't miraculously cancel my wife's allergies and she knew about them from the start. I'm not asking not to take him to any family get-togethers, I am just asking not to take him to our wedding. My sister and my mum both called me a jerk and are not talking to me and have threatened not to come to the wedding, which I said is fine as I value my wife's comfort more. But still AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ - I feel for your sister but your future wife has a right to have a wedding and photos without having an "allergic hive face"!!! " (Gemma gets the reaction even if there's a dog in the same supermarket even if it doesn't touch her). " For this one time allergies trump service dog." Comfortable-Sea-2454 Another User Comments: "NTJ There are ways for your sis to check her blood sugar without her service dog like before she got him. But there is no way for your wife to be allergy-free when the dog is there. So the sis has a medical alternative, but your future wife does not. And overall she can decide to just stay home. It is the bride's wedding and she has a right to have a day without coughing and swellings and to have nice memories to look back to. Sis is just a guest. I never understand how they pull others in it." EvilFinch Another User Comments: "NTJ. From what you’ve said your wife doesn’t complain at family functions. Which is nice of her but her wedding is a day when she shouldn’t have to worry about the dog and her face will be immortalized in pictures forever so of course she wants to look her best. Understandably, the dog is useful to your diabetic sister but, as you’ve said, it has no impact on your wife’s allergy. She might have to sit this one out if she can’t function without the dog. Your mom would be the jerk if she persists and doesn’t go to your wedding though. Good job supporting your wife." Dangerous-Emu-7924