People Are Facing Their Issues In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I (30s F) got married to my husband (30s M) this July.

Our wedding theme was “Faerie Court”. We only invited close family and friends and asked that they wear jewel-toned dresses and suit jackets.

The wedding was in a sort of forest. We also took photos with almost everyone, not just the wedding party (which only consisted of a best man and a maid of honor).

My SIL (the mid-20s), shows up in a blush pink dress, and her partner in a cream suit jacket.

She thought that that would make her pop I guess (she is an attention seeker, by the testimony of everyone but her mom). The joke was on her, my dress was gold and shimmery, and my husband was in an emerald green jacket. Also, I was wearing a full-on crown, no mistaking who the bride was.

When the photographer asked me if she should photoshop them a bit, to make them blend in more (since we went with a dramatic photo style, that emphasized the deep jewel tones, and the “darkness” of the forest), I told her not to bother, make them look nice, but don’t change the colors or anything like that.

Well, I received the photos 4 days ago. I posted some on my Instagram, and most on social media (since most of our older relatives use it exclusively), and they (SIL and partner) looked so out of place, they were almost washed out.

Then, she had the nerve to comment on my post, it was very passive-aggressive, something along the lines of washing her out to make myself stand out more.

I replied by saying that she washed herself out, by ignoring the wedding theme. She deleted her comment.

But then, we met last night, at my in-laws, it was an accident, not planned or anything. She said pretty much the same thing, I repeated that she was washed out because the photo style we chose emphasized deep colors, that’s why we asked people to wear jewel tones.

It escalated and ended up with me telling her that she looked like garbage in our photos (her complaint) because she was a jealous little woman who thought she could upstage me with a $30 dress the color of diluted pepto. She started crying and left.

Now my MIL says I owe SIL an apology for “publicly shaming her” and well as for insulting her looks. So AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. She messed around & found out. SIL & her partner tried upstaging you & your husband at your wedding.

The photographer offered to Photoshop them, & you refused because the photos remain honest. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't apologize to, what appears to be, the golden child. She'll eventually stop talking to you altogether, so that's a win-win. Congratulations on your wedding." GreyJediBug

Another User Comments:

"NTJ She chose what to wear knowing full well what the theme was and what people were asked to wear. She should've realized on her own whether she would stand out in a good way or a bad way but hey, she got her wish - she stands out from everybody else" Huggle-Puggle

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. She wouldn't shut up on her own. So you helped her. And this isn't publicly shaming her. It was in the privacy of your in-laws. Publicly shaming her would be to post the whole drama on social media asking for family and friends to chime in on if you are the jerk for her decision to not follow the dress code... But I'm not nice either." Foggy_Radish