People Lack Decorum In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"The previous week, I reluctantly allowed my husband's sister to pick my daughter up from school so she could spend the day with her and his parents (she does half days still). I say reluctantly because they have continuously crossed parental boundaries in the past, but that’s a different story. It had been a while, and she loved them and I truly wanted them to have a relationship, so I gave it another go. Anyway, my husband and I went to pick her up at his parents and while there, his sister asked what he was doing for his birthday coming up. I had asked him several times already what he wanted to do and had thrown out some ideas for us to do as a family as well, but he never decided on anything. So, he says he doesn’t have plans. She asked if he wanted her to make him dinner at her apartment then and he said yeah, that sounds good. It would be a family dinner: his parents, her partner, and our family. All good. Tonight, he said that we could drive separately because he doesn’t want to leave early. He asked me at dinner if I would leave early with our daughter so I could put her to bed. He wants to stay and party. This majorly upset me because this whole pregnancy has not felt like a partnership whatsoever. He only made one of my several ultrasounds (I’m over 35, so get a good amount of them), works almost every weekend voluntarily makes plans with my daughter and me puts off doing things I physically cannot do for the nursery until the third trimester I’ve been asking him to do since the first. I’ve also asked him to look into ways he can support me during birth and not a single Google search has been made to that effect. I’m not sure if I’m being the crazy pregnant lady, but it certainly feels like he just wants to do whatever he wants without any regard for me carrying this child he told me he desperately wanted. Our birthdays are close, and the baby’s due date is only two days after mine (so I’ll be 40 weeks for my birthday if she doesn’t decide to arrive before then). So for my birthday, I don’t get to do anything but be pregnant and wait for the baby. It would be nice to feel like he wants to spend these special occasions with me/my daughter and me. He is not empathetic to the fact that I can’t go out and do these things for this period, so to be told to go home is hurtful. I told him that in that case, I didn’t even want to be there and she (my daughter) and I weren’t going to dinner. Honestly, I would not be in a mood to celebrate and just get upset anyway. But it does constantly feel like as much as he claims to be a family guy, spending quality time with us doesn’t matter to him." Another User Comments: "I think he has emotionally left this relationship. Too many red flags for things he is doing or has not done. Sounds like his family is full of jerks. I would start analyzing this situation and determine if it is worth staying in. Don’t be a single parent in a marriage." Tired-DogMama-6262 Another User Comments: "Yep this sounds like a disengaged guy - likes the idea of kids as long as you do all the work and his life doesn’t have to change a bit. Sounds like you are the issue holding him back from his life. I hope things change for you but he doesn’t sound like a catch." Artistic-Giraffe-866 Another User Comments: "NTJ. I don’t know if his birthday is the day to die on that hill, especially if you guys don’t have plans. It kind of sounds like he hasn’t been showing up and this is just the cherry on top. I just know in an argument he’s going to dismiss what you are saying today with “But it’s my birthday.” I would have let this one go just so my partner couldn’t use that excuse when I confronted him about not handling his business and being a father of two and a husband. You and the baby don’t need this kind of stress." No_Jaguar67