People Lack Decorum In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I (20f) was given a car but I wasn’t driving it for a while because I didn’t have my license yet. While I was doing lessons etc my uncle and his family borrowed my car (for months and free of charge- I was still paying the insurance). I didn’t mind. Fast forward a while, and I finally got my license. My mom and I work at the same place, so we always drive to work together using her car or mine. One day we used my car and I was about to drive it home when I saw that it wasn’t in the parking lot. I went to ask my mom where it was and she said she had let some builder borrow my car because he needed it. I didn’t say anything at work and walked home but when she came home, I confronted her and said “The bare minimum thing to do would be at least to ask my permission, I don’t even know who this guy is.” Her reaction was to lose her temper at me and shout and say I’m selfish etc etc. Now fast forward to this scenario- my uncle and his family have contacted her again to use my car from the end of October to December. I said to her that I wasn’t keen on them using my car since my studies end then and I’m on holiday. I was planning on using my car and doing things. She lost her temper again and called me selfish. Then this weekend she said that she’s either giving them my car or her car to use and I must decide. The thing is this means we are sharing a car during the holidays which means when my mom is out and busy (using her car) I am stuck at home. I said “Whatever just let them have my car then” because I was over fighting. My uncle and his family came to fetch my car this evening and I went to my mom to explain that the reason I wasn’t keen on them using my car, was because now we are stuck with 1 car to share. I wanted to drive to the gym to go for a run before work but my mom was already using the car. I tried to explain this to her. I also said that I would appreciate it if they contacted me and asked to use my car instead of hers. She went mad screaming and swearing saying I’m a selfish jerk and then contacted my uncle to say he needed to bring my car back tomorrow because I was throwing a tantrum. She is giving them her car instead. I feel bad now but I genuinely just wanted her to understand my point of view on the situation and I also wanted them to start messaging me and not my mom." Another User Comments: "NTJ. And if it were me, I'd sell the car and get a different one even if that meant selling a $5000 car and turning around and buying a $5000 car. For whatever reason, having free reign over the car before they get their license has given them the impression they are entitled to use it. It seems to be less about the car being needed as a matter of convenience (because they could just borrow your mom's) and more of a mental block that they can't get past, that they have used it before and that somehow means they get to dictate how it's used now. Break the circle. Get a different car, and never let anyone borrow it. Ever. Not even your mom. Make sure it's a car that locks and you keep the keys on you at all times." illwriteamemo32 Another User Comments: "Leaving aside the issue of someone using your car without your permission, you are at risk of legal liability if the car is involved in an accident that causes injury or property damage. If your name is on the title and the insurance policy, it’s you who will end up paying, possibly in a lawsuit and definitely in higher insurance rates or canceled insurance. Either secure the car so no one else can use it by changing the locks, which isn’t cheap but will cost less than a lawsuit, or find another way to get it out of reach of others who can get to it. Quit driving to work with your mother. You are at risk of years of astronomical insurance premiums. If your name isn’t in the title, stop paying the insurance and save up for your car, or move somewhere mass transportation is an option and learn to live without a car. NTJ" Either_Management813 Another User Comments: "How about you tell your uncle to buy his own car and stop being a parasite? An occasional one-day or weekend loan is ok but from October to December, forget that! When I had a convertible my sister would borrow it on some sunny days but never got upset if I was using it." Responsible_Blood789