People Get Creative In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"About a month ago, me (33M) and my partner (27F) of three years were being silly and having a few drinks with each other. During a moment of poor foresight, I took a picture of myself with her phone. It wasn't anything particularly R-rated - just me from the waist up, with my face looking down and making what I would almost call a shark face.

It was meant for the moment and we laughed about it and then went forward with the night.

At this point, I should mention, that I hate how I look. My partner is aware, and she says I look fine, but I despise the way I look.

I'm covered in curly hair and I am not terribly fit. I am so negative about my image that I won't even go to the beach without a shirt on.

About a month later, my partner sent me the image I took via text message while joking with me.

I thought it was in poor taste and said so. She then revealed that she had taken that photo and photoshopped explosions coming out of of my chest. I was horrified. She then went on to reveal she had posted the image on social media, where her friends and family could see it.

I was mortified. I can't even tell you the existential horror I went through knowing this photo was out there. I immediately called her and begged her to take the image down, but she was adamant she would not, and said it would be good for me to know people weren't horrified by my shirtless body.

The photo had by this point been on her social media for 2 weeks and the replies weren't exactly the positive love my partner suggested them to be. They ranged from "Oh, your partner is boing as Jabba the Hut for Halloween" to "I see why he prefers to keep his shirt on."

After I came home from work we argued again about the photo. My partner revealed she had taken her least favorite photo of herself and photoshopped a snot bubble on her nose, then posted it on her social media as a form of solidarity. I was unamused and asked again for her to take it down.

She refused and replied "I can't believe you'd be this shallow." Eventually, she took it down, but it had already been 2 weeks and the damage was done.

It's been two days now and we're barely talking. So I have to know - AITJ for making my partner delete the photo I took?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ She knows you’re insecure about your body so she put a picture of you shirtless on social media for everyone to see? Then when you say you’re not comfortable she refuses to listen to you. Does she even like you?

How would she feel if you took a picture where she’s slouching and has visible stomach rolls, then posted it on social media? Probably not great. She doesn’t respect you or your feelings, she’s invalidating you when you showed discomfort and is now punishing you for sticking up for yourself. She’s bullying you, why would you want to be with someone like this?" Harmonia_PASB

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Your partner knew what she was doing. She was making fun of how you look, AND she posted on social media about it without telling you.

She embarrassed you in front of all her friends on purpose and then tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal. She had to photoshop a snot bubble on her own face to make something that even comes close to how she made you look, and she posted it in "solidarity" probably saying something snarky about it. She hasn't even apologized, she's only been gaslighting you about how you reacted. Your reaction was normal. The "moment of poor foresight" wasn't when you took that picture, it's when you agreed to date someone who apparently thinks so little of you and your feelings in the first place." nylonvest

Another User Comments:

"She’s a jerk. She is also cruel and lacks respect for you. She knows how you feel about your looks and still decided to post this photo. She then refused to take it down the first time asked. Then she doubled down and then tried to make you the villain or should I say the “shallow” villain.

She was okay with people making nasty comments about your body. She was body-shaming you under the guise of “helping” you. She’s a horrible human. When people show you who they are believe them. You deserve better." [deleted]