People Try To Correct Their Behaviour In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I (42f) have been together with my partner (36m) for over a year and the relationship has been pretty drama-free so far. For the past six months, he has been spending roughly 6 out of 7 days at my place with me and my kiddo (6m) from a previous relationship. We mostly hang out here because I have to be there for the kiddo and because he has roommates, and I don't. To be clear, I love having him around. A few months after he started spending so much time here, I asked him to start helping with the household chores, though only ones which he contributes (cleaning and garbage) or from which he benefits (laundry and cooking and use of my car). I do the great majority of all work associated with my son, as well as the majority overall in the household (really, I only ask that he does the garbage, helps with the car since he uses it, and helps with occasional deep cleaning). He agreed initially but asked me to ask him directly to do these things, which I do, I've even started making lists. However, he often forgets or puts them off for so long that I end up doing them myself. His argument for not doing chores is that he also has to maintain his apartment and is making a sacrifice by not being at his place where he can pursue his hobbies. So, his contribution, in effect, is that he is here. Just to be clear, we both work full-time (WFH) and split mutual costs evenly, money is not the issue. Things blew up yesterday after I had a hard day at work and with the kiddo. He is in the process of changing jobs and doesn't have much to do at work, so he has been gaming 6 to 8 hours a day this week. I found it frustrating that I was struggling to get the laundry and cooking done in between juggling the kid and work and he was gaming on the couch all day. He got angry when I brought it up (I could have been a little less snarky…) and said that I don't acknowledge the sacrifice he is making by being at my place and that the benefit he gets from my work is negligible since I would have to do laundry and cook for myself and my son even if he wasn't here. Since the problems we are having are roommate problems and not romantic partner problems, I suggested we go back to seeing each other so that we can each have our own space and he can pursue his hobbies at his place. He got really angry and accused me of trying to end the relationship. So, AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ You just a close-up view of what life will be like if you lived with him. And it ain’t pretty. He is lazy and entitled. And what upkeep does he have at his place? He is never there to mess things up. Instead, his utility bills have decreased, his grocery bill has decreased and he has a car to use. Send him home. If he breaks up with you, so be it. Not much of a loss." PurpleStar1965 Another User Comments: "NTJ. But honestly, unless you are happy to just see each other indefinitely (which some ppl do, especially later in life, and are both perfectly happy!), then I would say just break up.  It's super unlikely that he will change at this point in his life. Seeing each other is for finding out whether you are compatible. You aren't. " Different_Abalone886 Another User Comments: "NTJ. If he thinks he’s making a sacrifice by spending time with you at your place, tell him he doesn’t have to sacrifice anymore. Ask him to go home. He’s free to come over for a few hours to spend time together but not to stay. If you’re not actively spending time together, he doesn’t need to be there. You can cook and clean in peace and he can come over for a movie then hit the dusty trail. Or better yet, try and spend more time at his place to see how much he likes cleaning up after you." shadyzeta579