People Try To Put Their Best Foot Forward In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"OP (56) wondering if my decision was the best one. For years it has always been kind of joked about that one day my mom would move in with me and my husband. Well, that day came on June 26th, 2024. Everything has been challenging from day one. Our daughter lived with us up until a little over a year ago. When we moved from one state to another, she decided to stay behind and get her place due to loving her job. My husband is retired, and I work remotely so moving was exciting. I finally get to live at the beach! Of course, with my daughter staying behind we had an extra bedroom in our new home. Then mom moved in. While helping her set up her bedroom, she asked my husband to hang some pictures for her. My husband is very meticulous when doing any project. He's the measure twice type to ensure it's perfect. She was standing there watching him and kept telling him "That's not straight." After hearing this several times, he went and grabbed a level to show her everything was indeed straight and exactly where she asked him to hang it. Every day is becoming a challenge for us. The only activities she wants to do is get up in the morning, get her coffee, and sit down to read her paper (which my husband drives to the gas station every morning to get for her because we do not live in an area where it is delivered) and does crossword puzzles. She has no motivation to do her laundry, dust and vacuum her room, or anything out of her normal routine mentioned above. Her hygiene routine is non-existent. She has gone 8 days without showering or bathing. She speaks very negatively of everything. She said something to my husband about one of our neighbors the other day. My husband told her "We have made friends with our neighbors and don't speak about them like that." She got angry and stormed off to her room. We are animal lovers and have 3 dogs. If the dogs don't come to her when she calls she tells them they are jerks. There is a stray cat in the neighborhood that has 2 kittens. They choose to seek shelter in our house. We took some food out to them one day and she told us "You need to get rid of them." This turned into a major argument. I just don't know what to do at this point. If I say anything she doesn't agree with, she gets angry and walks off. I told my husband the other day that it is getting so bad I'm worried I am going to have a heart attack from the stress. I have tried talking with my brother and sister about what is going on and it gets me nowhere. AITJ for thinking we should have never agreed to let her move in with us?" Another User Comments: "Hindsight. NTJ You need to sit down with your mother and have a very adult conversation about the living arrangements. Tell her that things are not working out and you would like to explore other options for her. When she asks why, you politely and gently tell her that she is being rude, smelly, and mean. Explain that you will give her ample time (2 months is sufficient) for her to find other accommodations, No one should have to live like that." Chilling_Storm Another User Comments: "NTJ Your mom is still a functioning adult who can take care of herself. You did not sign up to be her maid, delivery boy, or at-home nurse. It's okay for her to ask for help sometimes but this is too much. It's okay to have second thoughts since you didn't know she would act this way. Your mom probably thinks since you are her kid and she lives there now that she is the head household again like when you were young. It's your house your rules. She is a guest that's it." Starr_Lights