People Like The Attention They Get In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"I’ll start by saying that I have an aunt on my dad’s side of the family, she’s 50 and has 5 kids ranging from 20 to 12.

She’s always been known to be a freeloader and taken advantage of situations and people. One time my dad and I were planning on going to the drive-in, and my dad stupidly told her.

She asked if her kids could be included too. I felt angry because this happened every time my dad and I had something fun planned just for us. I’m hoping that you get the idea with what I’ve given you so far.

But anyway…

Last week I wanted to celebrate my little sister getting her driver's permit and I invited all of our family to Olive Garden (by that I mean all of us who live in the same home). I told everyone to clear their schedules for Friday afternoon because I didn’t want anyone to feel left out.

Well, that’s where I messed up because my dad told my aunt and told her she could tag along without telling me!!!

We showed up at Olive Garden at around 4:30 pm and I asked for a table for 5 (Me, My dad, my two sisters, and my grandpa) but my dad said that if they could make it a table for 12, I asked why and that’s when he told me.

I was angry, especially because my aunt and my little sister have history but I didn’t think much of it because I wasn’t expecting what was coming up.

We’re seated and around 30 minutes later she shows up with all her kids. We eventually ordered and she kept ordering expensive dishes and lots of drinks.

I was kind of in awe… considering she lives off of food stamps (which I don’t shame anyone who does) but she kept ordering like she was Scrooge McDuck on just another Tuesday. The bill eventually comes up and I ask for it to be split. She says in such a grating voice “what do you mean split bill???! I thought you were paying for us?”

That’s when it clicked… she only came for the free food.

I immediately glared at my dad, who started blaming me saying “Why would you offer to pay?

and then not follow through?”

Maybe because I wasn’t expecting to pay for another 6 people??!?.

I ended up asking the waitress how much it would be because I didn’t want to ruin the mood and my little sister’s accomplishment.

The bill came out to be about $557.87…

Excluding what my family (My dad, my two sisters, and my grandpa) ate, it would be about $243.68.

I outright refused to pay for her and her kids’ meals. I felt bad because two of them are still kids but I never invited her myself, let alone agreed to pay for her bill.

Now my dad is calling me a jerk because he had to pay for it with his credit card.

I don’t believe I did anything wrong but that’s the reason I’m here.

AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"Your aunt is a jerk for trying to freeload off of you.

Your father is the jerk for inviting his sister without asking you first. Your father is a jerk for expecting you to pay the bill for this aunt. Your father is a jerk for getting mad at you for standing up for yourself and refusing to pay the bill for someone who was not invited and unwanted. So, your father is a triple jerk! You are NTJ OP. Do not reimburse your father. Keep standing up for yourself!" AtTheEastPole

Another User Comments:

"Inviting other people to the outing you had planned without even asking is already not cool, to put it mildly. Inviting someone your little sister doesn't like to the outing you had planned to celebrate her accomplishment is jerk behavior.

Expecting you to pay for 7 people you haven't invited thereafter springing it on you at the last minute is outrageous. NTJ at all and good for you, for standing your ground. I would start establishing firm boundaries with your dad regarding your aunt starting from here." Not_Dead_Yet_Samwell

Another User Comments:

"Wow reading this made my blood boil. Your dad is a massive jerk who has major boundary issues. And I would encourage you to put your foot down with him each time he pulls something like this since he is the one with the big mouth inviting her without checking with you first. He’s the one giving your entitled, freeloading aunt the idea that it’s okay for her to crash your family events while everybody else pays her way.

I would also explicitly make it clear to your aunt that she is not invited to your events. If she shows up, kick her out. Ignore her manipulation and tantrums. Do not give in. Any other family members besides your dad giving you blowback can host her and pay for her themselves. You are NTJ by any stretch of the imagination!" GOTisnotover77