People Feel Animosity In These “Am I The Jerk?” Stories

"My son’s father left me while I was pregnant because he wanted to make something of himself and prove to my family he deserved me. At least that’s the reason he’s been trying to get me to believe since coming back into our lives. He also claims he didn’t know about our son or that I was pregnant even though I did everything I could think of to get that message to him when I originally found out. I even reached out to him when my son was less than a year old because I was struggling and desperate but he never responded to me then either. Now he’s back and trying to fix things. I don’t want him here and I don’t want his help but I know my son deserves a relationship with him so I’ve been trying to be civil. It hasn’t been easy, especially since he makes me feel like everything I’ve done for our son isn’t good enough. He keeps trying to make me accept money from him and I keep refusing which leads to a lot of arguments. I told him he was welcome to pay for things for our son or save money for him but I wouldn’t take a penny from him. We had a fight over it yesterday and he told me his patience was running out and I was going to accept his money so our son could have the life he deserves. His family has also been on my case and nobody seems to understand why I keep saying no. AITJ?" Another User Comments: "All the people saying YTJ baffles me. If he wanted the son to have a better life, he'd be on it after the first time OP said no, buying stuff, paying for his school, getting him a savings account, etc. He doesn't need to handle his ex's money to do that. Him wanting her to take the money directly stinks of trying to get some financial control over her. OP, if you have basics covered and your kid has what he needs, you're not wrong not to take the money. If he insists, though, take him to court and make him pay all he's worth. Make him do it in the law's terms, not his. He owes your kid that money and the more 'official' you can make this process, the less he has to hold over your head. NTJ." Upper_Brain265 Another User Comments: "YTJ. You don't have the right, even as his parent, to choose to make your son's life MORE difficult on his behalf because of your ego and pettiness. You have the right and responsibility to PROTECT him from dangers, to ensure his safety, to make sure he is cared for. But he is a small human being, not an extension of you, and you don't have the right to choose that his life should be lacking in ways that it doesn't have to be because YOU resent his father. You don't have to like your ex, you don't have to have a meaningful relationship with him, but you absolutely have no right to refuse substantive assistance from him on your child's behalf that would make the child's life better and easier; because that's an act of petty punishment that in the end doesn't affect your ex, just your kid. It's moronic, petty, and self-absorbed. Get therapy, deal with your resentments, and take whatever he's offering that will improve your child's life. You have no right to make your kid's life worse than it needs to be because you can't get past your own stubbornness, or YTJ, and a massive one at that." FoolMe1nceShameOnU Another User Comments: "NTJ. I get where you’re coming from. He abandoned you and claims he didn’t know you were pregnant. He strolls back into your life and now wants to play devoted daddy. Unless your son is being harmed or neglected his criticisms are uncalled for. He’s a jerk talking about what his son deserves. He doesn’t get to talk down to you after you raised your son alone. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. He can pay for things for your son or start an account for your son but instead chooses to berate you for not taking his money. He wants you to take his money because he feels guilty. If you take his money he can feel good about ghosting you. He can brag about what he does for the son he claims he didn’t know about. As long as your son is healthy and happy and you aren’t struggling you don’t need to take his money if you don’t want to." [deleted]