People Feel Animosity In These “Am I The Jerk?” Stories

"Our trash can has an insert so you can easily take that out, pull the trash bag out, and replace it. It’s wonderful. My lovely wife doesn’t like to do that, she likes to dig her nails under the insert (gross) to pull it up slightly so she can grab the bag and pull it out when she takes the trash out, she also forgets to put a new bag in. Every. Single. Time. Multiple times I’ve shown her how to use it and she rolls her eyes at me. Today I went to throw some sloppy grossness away from our sink trap and splat, it went directly into the insert, no bag. I lost it a little bit as I had to pull it out to clean it and then went and asked her, nicely, in a begging tone, to please, for the love of all that is holy, use the insert. That way if you forget to put a bag in then it’s sitting out and I’ll notice it and I’ll put a new bag in. She told me I’m being a jerk and overreacting and if I wanted to avoid throwing trash into the insert without a bag there then I should pay more attention and check there’s a bag before throwing stuff away. I asked even if it’s dripping wet and or hot and I’m in a rush? She said yes, it’s my responsibility. So, AITJ here? Am I overreacting? In my eyes she started a job and didn’t finish it so it feels like she’s being the jerk and should correct her jerkish behavior…but I’ll leave it to y’all. INFO: We don’t have a formal chore system in place, we go by a stuff needs to be done then do it system. She has stuff she typically does more and so do I, trash being one of them. So generally I’m the one taking the trash out, however when she does….this happens." Another User Comments: "NTJ. But I have a system. And that system includes if you take the trash out, replace the trash bag. Same with toilet paper, toothpaste, milk, and orange juice - you use the last bit - add it to the list if needed or replace. I mean, if you take the vehicle to work and drive home with a gallon left - you would hopefully fill up before heading home. But of course, that's my system and it has led to a pretty happy household for over 20 years." crbryant1972 Another User Comments: "NTJ. In my house, my husband always takes out the kitchen trash. If the bag is full, I pull it out and leave the trash can out from under the sink so he sees it and replaces the bag before it goes back under the sink. (Why don’t I just replace the bag myself? Lol to be honest I don’t know, I just never have. It’s just how we do it. It’s never been an issue. He usually gets the new bag before I even think about it.) But I would never put the trash can back under the sink without a bag, as that would look like a finished job when it’s not. Your wife is the jerk for allowing the trash can to appear useable when it’s not." RealTalkFastWalk Another User Comments: "NTJ taking the bag away is only part of the job, it's not complete if the bag isn't replaced (my dad does the exact same thing, thinks it's fine just to remove the bag but NEVER replaces it). However, I do notice an interesting parallel here: "if I wanted to avoid throwing trash into the insert without a bag there then I should pay more attention and check there’s a bag before throwing stuff away. I asked even if it’s dripping wet and or hot and I’m in a rush? She said yes, it’s my responsibility." Sounds exactly like the toilet seat debate though with the positions reversed (besides both sides are wrong, always close the lid when done with the toilet)." StevenKnowsNothing