There are a few things that make people as happy as their wedding day. It is the day that you get to say your vows to the person you love, hoping that this union will last a lifetime. Although the bride and groom often want to involve all their loved ones in their big day, it’s evident that the guests are collected to celebrate the two people who are becoming one.
I’m sure most romantics agree that there could be nothing more beautiful than the thought of being together forever. But, sometimes, “forever” isn’t what a relationship has in store.
There may come a time in a married couple’s life when things don’t work out the way they had imagined. There are differences in mentality, arguments are waiting to happen, and there’s a rift between the two people that once were inseparable. When things like open communication, couple’s therapy, and effort fail to work, many people choose to divorce.
The idea of divorce often sends an uncomfortable feeling through those who are happily married. No one wants to think about separating from a partner they love so much. But, for a lot of people, it’s a sad reality.
People fall into a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts after separating from their spouse. It’s normal to go through a series of emotions before the idea of being separated and (potentially) alone settles in for good. At this point, it’s up to you to fight through the tough days and tread through the breakup. For some, the recovery process may be hard. Things that were habitual in your relationship may come back to haunt you as you adapt to the new norm. The hollow, pittish feeling in your stomach may overstay its welcome. But, remember that this is all a part of the healing process.
And, once you’ve healed, you will go through a stage where you reflect on how things have changed in the time since you put your married life to rest. Some may feel a sense of guilt and regret following their decision — they realized that more could have been done to work it out with the person they loved.
However, others will feel a sense of liberation and happiness. There are a ton of stories of those who would rather be with their ex again because of the misery it takes to be apart. But, below we share a series of real-life accounts of people who went through with their decision to divorce their partner and are happy.
These people learned life lessons they wouldn’t have had they stayed in a marriage that wasn’t working for them.
1. I learned to put myself first
“My life is much much better. I take care of myself, and I don’t worry about bills, I pay them all every month. I don’t worry about vacations, I take them with my kids as I can. I don’t worry about anything. I am secure and living well within my means. Opening my bills every month is a joy, knowing there will be no surprises. I meet interesting people, I go out regularly. I had a woman who REALLY wanted a permanent relationship, monogamous. I’m not ready for that, so I told her. We go out to talk… I’ve joined a group that plays board games, and that’s a ton of fun. I don’t have to answer to anyone for anything except my dog, and my son will come over and stay with him if I’m going out of town…Life is great.” – Dan Pres
2. I learned what it was like to be truly happy
“We were together [for] 45 years, married 42, when he left me for his much younger girlfriend. Family and friends, who thought we were the perfect couple, with the perfect marriage, were shocked and furious with him.
Recovering from a serious auto accident and a major back surgery when he left, I was devastated. I was still in love with him. With good therapists and a loving and supportive network of family and friends, I survived, the loss of everything I had known and treasured for 45 years.
Getting back on my feet, finding some equilibrium in my newly destroyed life wasn’t easy. I was 64 years old, living alone for the first time [ever], and terrified of the future. I had no idea what that future would hold, or if I even wanted to contemplate having a future at all.
Then, 19 months later came the most unexpected, and luckiest, few minutes of my life.
It was a quiet afternoon, I was alone when there was a knock on my door. Cliche, I know, but true! Standing on my front porch was the man I had gone to my high school prom with 48 years [ago]. He had known for more than a year that my marriage had ended, and being in the area that day, decided to stop by to say “[H]ello, how are you doing?”
Now, it was 48 years later and we had both matured, both had failed marriages behind us. It wasn’t long before we were spending time together. He was a biker and I loved riding with him. And, one day, I suddenly realized I was falling in love with this incredible man. It was both scary and exciting…I thought I would never love again, let alone learn to trust again.
Today I hardly recognize the woman who opened that door 5 years ago. Now I am truly, completely, undeniably happier than I could have ever imagined. I smile a lot, I laugh easily and often, I treasure each new day and thank God every day for my new life with this man.
I’ve lived the bad times and I know there can be a rainbow at the end of that ugly road. And, at the end of that rainbow, not a pot of gold, but something worth more than all the gold in all the pots in the world: true happiness. With a truly good man.” –Sherry Kudranski
3. I learned that I am my favorite company
“After each failed marriage, my life was much better after they ended. No more “step this” or “step that” (who wants to be stepped on anyway…I hate that “step” term). No more baby mamma drama. No more not being a priority. But I like me, and I think I’m great company.” – Sunny Carrol Moreno
4. I learned what works for some may not work for others
“I am the happiest I’ve ever been. My one year is in just about a month. I met someone new and will be marrying [again] soon. I also have a son who is 4, and he is the happiest little boy in the world. Both his Mom and I make every moment we have with him extra special. It may not be ideal, but really, what does that even mean anymore. If you love her, work for the relationship, [g]et counseling. [That] didn’t work for me but maybe it will for you. Talk with your spouse about how she envisions life with you and life without you; which will make you both happy?” – Redmacleod
5. I learned that I can choose to be happy
“[Divorce] is awesome if you want it to be. My sister got divorced at 32, she was married to someone who was amazing on paper — highly educated, well traveled, a very good family. [S]he’s still in touch with his family and they visit her often.
So, she was married to this guy for almost three years with technically no relationship beyond roommates, and [before] they got married they had a decent courtship too where everything was good. After marriage, the guy decided to display his distant side and claimed this to be his personality. She tried everything she possibly could and eventually gave up when it was time, maybe he did too. People who loved her dearly were angry with her for making this decision, including our parents. [They] were pushing her, saying ‘do anything, just stay married!’ She didn’t listen and went ahead with a mutual divorce.
Cut to present and she’s married to someone great for over 12 years; she has beautiful twin daughters and getting out of that dead marriage was the best decision ever. She says that if she wasn’t divorced then she wouldn’t have found this one! Apart from being an amazing human [her husband is] just the guy for her. There’s nothing but happiness and positivity in her life now because she chose it. She could’ve been struggling longer just to please everyone, yet dying inside, but she walked out when the time was right, and that’s what got her where she is.” – Vaishali Yadav, Partner RKJ & CO.
6. I learned that my time is now just mine
“Frankly, it is more likely to be a relief, depending on certain circumstances. Your divorce was probably coming for a long time. Now it is in the past. What you do with your time now is up to you.” – Marilyn Hubbard, MS from Mohawk Valley Community College
7. I learned that there will be someone who will love my special needs child like their own
“I got married in February 1997 and had my daughter in September of 1998. She was born with a chromosome deletion called Jacobsen Syndrome. We were young and had to grow up really fast to deal with all her medical issues.
Well, at least I grew up. He continued to drink, spend money on anything and everything he wanted…except for the things that we needed. Spent the majority of time with his friends, playing with his toys.
He also was not a happy drunk, so emotional and physical abuse was [a] part of our marriage. I finally grew some balls and left him. Divorce final in 2001.
FAST FORWARD: In December 2003 I started a new job. The first week of working there I was at a company meeting. This guy gave a small talk about his company trip he just came back from. He had spent 2 months in South Korea designing a company history book. I really didn’t think too much of it and went about my business.
After months of him pursuing me and asking me out, I finally gave in and said yes. I was horrible and really made him work for it. He was persistent and the rest is history.
We’ve been married 12 years. He is a wonderful step-dad to my special needs daughter. We have a 6-year-old son together. He puts us first in everything he does and provides for our family. We have had our ups and downs but always work hard on bettering ourselves for each other and our family.
Here’s to forever, honey!” – Amity Woodford, Married for 13 long years
8. I learned that I deserve to be with someone who respects me
“My first wife cheated on me three times, verbally abused me for years, and verbally abused our three sons during the last six months of our marriage. Her verbally abusing our children was the last straw—I filed for divorce. At first, I had full custody of our sons; later, we shared custody 50/50. About six months after I filed for divorce, I met a loving, kind, and generous woman who became my second wife about two and a half years later. We’ve now been happily married for 22 years.” – Allen Long, Divorced and Happily Remarried
How did you find these stories? Share what you think with us in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you!
Also, click on the video below to watch one couple’s divorce story and how they made their separation work for their two daughters.
