People love their phones when everything goes right until they stop going right and then we don’t love our tech anymore. It’s those strangely unique situations that our phones get us into that can end up with disastrous consequences – text messages for ONLY YOU that get read by others; reminders that go off at extremely inopportune moments; friends responding at the absolute worst possible time – you know, fun stuff like that. It sucks when it happens to you, but man is it ever comical when it happens to someone else!
Let’s have a good hardee-har-har over other people’s technological misfortunes and timing disasters, shall we?
25. Here’s Why You Turn Off Your Phone During A Job Interview
“I was waiting for a job interview and the interviewer was late. Being panicky and nervous for it already, I was texting my friend every detail of what was going on, which included the interviewer’s lack of timeliness. He shows up, we talk, I’m showing him something on my phone, and my friend texts me back about how unprofessional it is to be late as an interviewer. I didn’t get the job.” – Reddit user
24. Now is a great time to get pregnant! Wait, what?
“Happened to my BFF – she is a very organized person and has everything mapped out. We were both senior RAs in college and were watching movies in a common room with all of her freshman (male) residents. Halfway through the movie, this app pops up and says ‘Mary, you are ovulating today! Now is a great time to get pregnant!’ They made fun of her for ages.” – Reddit user
23. Who Doesn’t Love A Good Deal?
“I got subscribed to Yandy Lingerie texts after I ordered something from there. Really annoying as they don’t tell you how to unsubscribe. I was at my job as a teacher, and a parent was looking at some of the pictures I had taken of the field trip we took the kids on when a message pops up saying ‘S**Y CROTCHLESS PANTIES ON SALE!’ I was mortified.” – SchoolOfTheWolf93
22. Still Daddy’s Girl… But Different Daddy
“Father-in-law and I are looking at a picture on my phone. Wife texts me, a banner pops up on the top of the phone saying ‘I’ve been a bad girl… I need a spanking!’ Dude looked at me, so I answered, ‘What kind of daughter did you raise?’ He didn’t laugh as hard as I think he should have.” – Reddit user
21. Well That’s One Way To Get Your In-Laws To Leave…
“My in-laws are EXTREMELY religious, and we just got them their first iPhone – the first smartphone they’ve ever had. In the middle of me showing her parents how WeatherBug works – we were outside smoking, the wife was not – she texted me a spread eagle shot of herself from the bedroom with the words ‘I can’t wait for them to leave so I can literally go to town on you in bed.’
Let’s just say things got very awkward. It may have been small as heck on the banner, but they were both wearing their glasses and paying very close attention. Nevertheless, not a single word was said about it and they left 15 minutes later.” – SafeDivide
20. Yikes. I Say He Dodged A Bullet.
“My fiancée at the time – three months from the wedding – used to use my laptop all the time for social media and stuff while she was watching TV. She comes to me one night and says she thinks stuff isn’t working out and that we should talk about whether we should really continue. I’d not felt any problems that I didn’t just dismiss as wedding planning/financial stress. So I explained that and she said she wanted to sleep in the spare room that night to think things through, to which I agreed.
I wasn’t very happy with it at all, so I decided to go get my device and watch some YouTube before bed. She had her Facebook left open on my user account – completely normal. Then I see a notification from her ex-colleague.
She was live-sexting him with just a thin wall between us. I instantly knew I’d never forgive that, got dressed, quietly snuck away into my car and drove to my mum’s. She didn’t even realize I knew for days. Didn’t speak to her at all after that. All communication was through her own parents, who were devastated.” – emersonhardisty
19. This Is Where I Do My Work.
“I once accidentally showed a nude photo of my fiancé to a receptionist. It was my first time on site and I needed to show him a pic of where I’d be working as I didn’t know where it was on site. So, I open my gallery and lo and behold, my missus’ naked body was right there. I just stepped back and apologized but he didn’t say anything…” – fabulin
18. Sometimes It’s Best Not To Share Your Dreams
“I was showing my friend this dream interpretation app and how it worked. I clicked on a random day to show him how it keeps a history for you and he yelled, ‘YOU DREAMT ABOUT DIARRHEA?!'” – jessicaticorn
17. Terms Of Unaffection?
“There’s this obnoxious couple my wife and I know and don’t particularly care for, so we named them ‘Filthy Nozzle’ and ‘Nozzle’s Sucker’ on my phone.
I was at UPS and the cashier needed to look at my phone for a shipping address. There, she saw a notification from ‘Nozzle’s Sucker’ and I can tell she tried not to smirk.” – Reddit user
16. Never Put Your Phone On An Overhead Project. Never.
“I was showing a classroom full of young kids the solar eclipse on my phone, on an overhead projector. My husband’s name is ‘Lover Boy’ on my phone. In the middle of the presentation, naturally, he texts. I swiped it away real quick but some of those eight-year-olds caught what it said and laughed at me. So did the substitute teacher.” – Snarls_Bukowski
15. But Why Does It Hurt When You Pee?
“I’m in a group chat whose name changes all the time for jokes, depending on the season. The name this time was, ‘Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?’ I was out walking around and a friend came up behind me, saw it, and asked if I was OK, if I needed a doctor, or if maybe I had a UTI, etc. I didn’t know what to tell him and just quickly walked away.” – Faith-Hope-TacoBell
14. When “Your Mom” Jokes Go Horribly Wrong
“My best friend in high school was in the process of being grounded and having his phone taken away and as he was handing over his phone to his mom, he got a text from me that said ‘Hey, I found your mom’s s**y toy’ accompanied with a picture of a medieval battering ram. He told me that they both saw it, right as the transaction was taking place, then held each other’s gaze silently for what he described as an eternity.” – theLesserOf2Weedles
13. Now That’s What I Call A “Ranchy” Pick Up Line
“My friend and I like to make fun of cheesy pickup lines we would hear. One time, I was showing my brother something on Amazon when I get a text from the aforementioned friend saying: ‘Let me put some ranch on them lips, pretty mama.’ My bro just looked at me awkwardly and walked away.” – ZedasiriaDeRazz
12. It’s All Fun And Games Until That Dirty Notification Pops Up
“I have a trivia quiz app on my phone. It’s pretty much a trivia game where you can play matches in different topics against random people. Sometimes, if you follow someone, you get notifications that say, ‘Hey, [username] just posted in [topic], come check it out!’ Given that this is the Internet, however, you can imagine that some people give themselves crazy and inappropriate usernames as a joke. So one time, in front of a friend, I got a pop-up notification that said [very dirty username] just posted in Dirty DDLG Furry Roleplay, come check it out!’ I’ve turned notifications off since they started allowing people to create their own topics.” – Reddit user
11. Remember To Clear Your Search History
“Well, my current boyfriend (then just friend) and I were looking at my phone, looking something up. Lo and behold the last thing I had searched for was his name, trying to find out more about him on Google. It was definitely awkward when I heard him say ‘Why did you Google me?’ It’s funny now, but was so awkward then!” – DenverTigerCO
10. Grandma Doesn’t Need To Know About Your “Bedroom Toys”
“I was showing my grandmother pictures from my trip to Washington State…
Right in the middle of a great picture, my wife texts me about wanting to try out our new bedroom toy. It was literally just the smiling devil emoji and the words ‘Want to try out the new bedroom toy?’ I don’t think I’ve ever blushed so red in my entire life.” – calypso_cane
9. In The Privacy Of Your Own Home… Or Not
“Not exactly an electronic device, but same idea. I like trying out new and different things sometimes to keep ‘s**y time’ with my wife fresh and interesting. One time, I thought it would be fun to write her a letter requesting that when I get home that night, she is to be on all fours wearing a certain less-than-modest garment. So I place the letter on the kitchen counter before leaving the house, expecting her to see it and follow the instructions by the time I get back.
Around 3:00 pm, my wife and I receive a group message. Turns out our landlord (who we gave permission to always come in as he wished, he was a great old guy) stopped by to show off the house to a buyer. I don’t connect the dots or think anything of it. I’m still expecting s**y time. Eventually, she comes home, sees the letter, but also sees the kitchen sink was fixed.
No s**y time. She is convinced he, or they, read the letter. She is not an exhibitionist apparently. I still to this day can’t look my ex-landlord in the eye without laughing.” – Billiamohoughie
8. This Is Actually Very Accurate
“I was letting my coworker share/borrow my laptop and my birth control reminder popped up while he was using it. I’m extremely immature, so the message just says ‘BIRTH CONTROL’ with the location set to ‘YO MOUTH!'” – Scoozie
7. This Is Why I Will Never Connect My Phone To My Car Stereo
“I was riding in the car with a coworker when my wife texted. Told Siri to read the message out. Huge mistake. It turns out she had texted to whine and complain to me about how I was constantly leaving a ton of pubic hairs in the shower drain and needed to stop from now on. Suffice it to say this was not exactly my proudest moment…” – KiwiCandle
6. Bread Is Serious Business
“The reminder ‘Bread BREAD I AM NOT PLAYING WITH YOU. BREAD.’ popped up on my phone during a business meeting. I’m not fully sure, but I believe this was a drunken reminder I had set for myself to remember to buy bread. I found it amusing until I noticed my client’s blank stare.” – henrietta-the-spy
5. Maybe Mom Will Start Making Shawarma For Dinner
“Well, I’m active in a group chat called ‘Shawarma S***s’ and my mom saw a notification once. Fun!” – shawn1563
4. I’d Argue That It Wasn’t “A Good Time”
“When hubby and I were starting our fertility struggle, I downloaded one of those apps that tracks your period and ovulation and such. It occasionally would send messages saying it was a good time for intimacy. As I did dishes, surrounded by six aunts and uncles, my 90-year-old grandmother, my parents, and a mess of older cousins, my phone dinged. Thinking it was about a work emergency that had popped up, I asked my uncle nearest my phone to grab it and read it off to me while I scrubbed a pot. ‘Your phone says it’s a good time to have s*x….?’ Oh, the laughter.” – Teh-Red-Coat
3. A Great Way To Get To Know Your Coworkers!
“Oh boy, I have one and it is famous at my company now. I was the one to see the notification.
I teach English in China and two years ago I arrived at my first job about a month late thanks to visa issues. I survive the first two days alright and now it’s Friday and I get invited to a co-worker’s apartment to hang out, have a beer and meet some other expats. There’s just a handful of us chatting and drinking casually.
Sometime later people have walked off or called it a night and it’s just me, a guy and a girl sitting on a couch. The guy shows me his phone, he wants to show me this mobile game that’s very popular here in China. As he’s doing this, a message pops up. It reads:
‘I want your body in my mouth right now.’ It’s from the other girl in the room.
The guy and I make brief eye contact immediately and then I look at her. She goes beet red and leaves the room. I’m then informed that I am the second person other than them in the company to know that the two of them are an item. She wasn’t a shy girl at all and we now frequently make reference to this event.
And here’s a bonus happy ending: Mr. Body and Ms. Mouth are getting married this summer too!” – quadtard
2. Oh, I’m Just Browsing…
“My ex’s Tinder notification popped up on her phone while she was showing me her pics on holiday. That was funny…” – TheBeardMaestro
1. Never Looking At Crisco The Same Way Again
“My best friend and I used to have a code word for situations where we shouldn’t be sending each other inappropriate stuff. So whenever one of us sent the word ‘Crisco,’ it means someone was looking at our phone and keep it PG. We started this system because one time my dad was fixing my phone and she sent, in all caps: ‘DID YOU KNOW THAT IN ANCIENT TIMES SOME PEOPLE USED ANIMAL FAT FOR A**L INTIMACY???'” – kronoschic
Come onnn, we’ve all got a couple of these! Tells us your tale of embarrassing woes in the comments section below. Who knows, maybe you’ll make the next list!
