Grandma Leaves Voicemail About Donuts And How She Can’t Be Trusted Anymore

There are just some things that are better left put away. The old adage, “out of sight, out of mind” couldn’t be truer when it comes to avoiding anything delicious. Now, I’m not saying that delicious items should be avoided at all costs, but if it’s something that causes you to have no off switch, then it’s best to steer clear, no?

For me, it’s books (I get lost for hours in bookstores). For my best friend, it’s shoes (she might have a slight addiction when it comes to adorning her feet). For my colleague, it’s chips (sea salt and malt vinegar to be exact – she doesn’t share. Ever.). And, for this grandma, well, the first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

In this short but sweet, and very hilariously honest voicemail, grandma calls her grandson to tell him something: “It’s not an emergency, it’s nothing really, except that uh…” What happened was, when grandma was at home alone when she started craving something sweet and fruity. Her intentions are innocent enough, the woman was merely making her way to the kitchen to sort herself out with a piece of watermelon, but then things took a drastic turn.

She was walking by, her eyes on the prize, when suddenly, a different prize reared its sugar-coated, deep-fried yummy-looking self.

The voicemail continues, “…the box was there and I looked to see if there was a donut left, and I saw….” She goes on to describe that she saw one last donut with strawberry stuff coming out and that was the beginning of the ending. Next thing she knows, the corner of the donut is looking mighty appealing, and it’s just a little bite, a teeny tiny section. How can things possibly go wrong?

Well, one little sample led to the demise of the entire donut. And just like that, pouf! Grandma ate the donut. The whole thing. What follows next in her voicemail is a strong advisory: “If you want more donuts you better get some today and keep them in your bedroom, because I’m not to be trusted with sweets….ok? Sorry about that. I hope you can find some more today.” Now that is one straight up funny voicemail, and quite honestly, I don’t blame her. Leaving a single, jelly filled donut of sugary delight unattended is irresponsible. Grandma deserved that little bit of joy!

Click on the below to hear quite possibly the best voicemail ever.


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