People Await To Hear From Us Regarding Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
38. AITJ For Giving My Kids Food That I Don't Like?
“I have two kids (5f and 1m).
I’m a pretty picky eater, just due to textures. I don’t eat seafood, raw onions or tomatoes, cottage or ricotta cheese, eggs cooked in any way, butter on cold bread, or raw or cooked mushrooms or peppers. I’m sure there’s more but that’s the big ones.
If any of those foods are ‘hidden’ in a dish I have no problem eating them as it’s not a flavor issue, it’s about how they feel when eating them.
On to the problem. I prepare most if not all of these things for my kids. I don’t really force them on them if my 5-year-old says she doesn’t like something, I believe her, but I’m also not going to let her cut veggies out of her diet completely so I will reintroduce things she says she doesn’t like every few months to try again.
Sometimes I disguise them in other food, sometimes it’s clear to her what she’s eating. My 1-year-old is a vacuum cleaner so he doesn’t refuse much.
The other day some coworkers and I were talking about our kids being picky and I brought up my strategy of reintroducing foods every so often.
I said I tried cottage cheese again with my 5-year-old but I mixed some peaches in this time. One of my coworkers, J, said: “Don’t you hate cottage cheese?’ And I said yes, but that doesn’t mean my kids necessarily do. She argued that I shouldn’t make my 5-year-old ‘try again’ on foods that I don’t like myself because obviously, I agree that they’re undesirable foods.
I said that tastes change as kids grow up and she might end up liking it eventually and since I don’t make her eat every single thing on her plate it’s a non-issue. J said I’m still a jerk for asking my kids to do something I won’t do.
Some coworkers in the group agreed with her, some with me, but it was about a 60/40 split in favor of J.
Am I really the jerk for giving my kids foods that I don’t like?”
37. AITJ For Supporting My Daughter's Decision Of Not Helping Her Brother With Wedding Expenses Anymore?
“I have a son (John, 28M) and daughter (Rita, 31F) and both are on OK terms with each other. Ever since my husband passed away, nearly a decade ago, Rita has stepped up and taken care of all of us, financially.
She’s funded a huge portion of John’s life and helped him get a job without debt. She’s let me live with her in her house and is very, very soft-spoken and calm.
Recently, John proposed to his long-time partner Sam and they’ve begun planning their wedding. Sam and John have made it clear that they want Rita to help them out financially (again) as they’re saving up for a house and a future child.
Sam has a huge family and everyone there have very close relationships, so they’ve already cut down on the guests from John’s side. Neither I nor Rita cares about this, but recently one of Sam’s long-lost childhood friends informed them that she’ll be in town during the wedding so they had to remove one guest because of the venue’s rules and that person was Rita.
Sam told John and John told me that she doesn’t want Rita to be there cause ‘they’re not very close’ and ‘she can always see the couple sometime else’.
I was rude and questioned her as to why they were removing someone who was helping them out to which the reply was ‘I don’t like how she’s butting into John’s life’ and that ‘childhood friend is more likable.’ Rita’s hurt and told the couple that she won’t be paying a dime for the wedding and even went as far as planning a trip on the same dates with her friends.
Now John and Sam are yelling at me saying that I’ve spoiled her and made her into an egoistic loser but Rita’s already given them an engagement and a wedding gift (apart from the funding) so I told them that she’s done her part and that childhood friend could cover the expenses.
Sam’s mad and is threatening to go no contact.
AITJ?”
36. AITJ For Calling My Friend A Coward For Hanging Out With Homophobic People?
“I (15F) have two friends: C (15F) and L (15M) who are bi. They both came out a year and a half ago but L is more comfortable with who he is.
Lately, L was getting bullied by some boys at school: they call him slurs, mock everything he does and openly insult him.
Those boys happen to be C’s friends as well. They’re known for being homophobic and rude but C has been friends with them since primary school.
When one of their ‘jokes’ went too far, L went to report them to our principal and explained everything that was going on. When the boys were called into the office, C went with them, took their side, and said they would never do such a thing.
After that, she claimed to be on no one’s side but got closer to the bullies. L was obviously hurt and hasn’t talked to C since. The rest of the friend group (including me) started to question C’s s*******y since she was hanging out with those homophobic people.
A few days ago, C came to me venting about her fight with L and I asked her if the boys knew if she was bi: she paused and said ‘No.’ I asked her why and she proudly said ‘Because if they knew, they would never speak to me again but it’s fine because I will never tell them’.
She looked so unbothered and I snapped.
I told her ‘I can’t decide if you’re an attention seeker or a big coward. You claim to be bi but only hang out with homophobic people and hide your s*******y from them? You defended those bullies instead of L when you witnessed all he’s been going through.’ She called me a jerk, got up, and left.
My other friends told me what I said was right but I might’ve been a little harsh on her. I feel bad ever since because it didn’t change the situation at all…
I feel like it’s selfish of her to stay with homophobic people but I feel wrong because she wants to protect herself… so AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Telling My Friend About My Experience With Polyamory?
“So a friend of mine keeps falling in love with 2-3 guys at once and comes to me crying about what to do every time. Like every few months it’ll be the same story but I patiently listen every time and help her weigh the pros and cons and try to give her new perspectives about every guy from the context she gives me.
Now I am polyamorous and I’ve never been happier. My relationship is more stable, secure, and healthier than ever and it’s the best decision I ever made. BUT I never bring this up with my friend coz she’s been super judgemental of it before and I don’t wanna deal with that.
Keep in mind, I’ve never brought it up as a solution to her problems, just when I wanted to tell her about my life.
Yesterday she again calls me 5 times after I come back home having written an exam and was super exhausted. After listening for about 2 hours on the phone about how amazing both the guys are, I’m still trying to help her when she goes ‘What bout you, have you ever been in a situation like this?’
So I decided to be honest and tell her since I’m polyamorous I don’t exactly have to choose unless the other person backs off first, and that polyamory helps me share my love with multiple amazing people.
She blew up on me and said I’m a selfish jerk, that she can’t believe I’d make this about myself and my ‘legal infidelity’ (how is it infidelity if it’s consensual?) and how she would never do that in a million years.
The last straw was when she said I’m a bad friend and that I’ve always been kinda selfish. I said ‘Well why do you always come to me crying then?’ and hung up.
She blocked me on socials and sent me a long message basically saying I’m selfish and polyamory is stupid and disgusting and I should mature now or something.
A couple of other friends said I shouldn’t have mentioned polyamory at all as it’s an alien concept, especially in my country but like… she asked? I would NOT have mentioned it at all if she hadn’t asked me about my experience with this situation at all.”
34. AITJ For Not Doing More To Help My Aunt?
“A while ago, I (28F) received a call from my aunt.
I don’t have the greatest relationship with her since she was really disrespectful to me and my issues (force-feeding me when I had an eating disorder, cutting my clothes cause they were ‘ugly’, ripping my books cause I was reading instead of paying attention to her), so I was quite surprised when she called me asking for help with her appendectomy, although that wasn’t the only surprising factor.
While it is true that I am a doctor, I am definitely not a surgeon and I do have my obligations associated with my position (I have board certifications in Neurology and Internal Medicine and work in Diagnostics).
She’s never even regarded me as a good doctor despite the achievements I’ve been too ashamed to brag about in her presence.
That’s mainly because I have multiple tattoos, piercings and am really introverted.
Either way, I told her it wasn’t possible for me to just fly 4000 miles to deal with something I wasn’t familiar with and ignore my responsibilities as a doctor, first and foremost. I also recommended a good hospital and surgeon, but she didn’t follow through and went to the local ER, where the doctor did a rather sleazy job.
Everybody’s blaming me for it now.
Her 5 children all called me fuming about how I was letting their mother die and how I should get my license revoked for not caring about people (as a doctor). They called me names I’d rather not remember and even went as far as threatening me and my career (suing for malpractice).
This is not the first time they do this. They got mad when my husband (an app developer) wouldn’t remove the bugs in my cousin’s computer (who literally works in tech).
That being said, so much of my trauma stems from their malicious treatment towards me as a kid and, while I haven’t thought of myself this way in a long time, since they used to call me a trashy person when I was a kid, as well, I’m sort of starting to debate whether or not I actually am one.
AITJ for not doing more to help my aunt?”
33. AITJ For Being Mad At My Fiancé For Making His Twin Brother Go To My Family Reunion?
“I (28F) and my fiance (28M) have been together for 8 years. We met during college and we are both really excited for the future. He has a twin brother that lives overseas. They look exactly very closely alike. It is hard to tell the difference at times.
I have met his brother a few times over the years. He hasn’t been able to visit recently.
My family was having a large reunion this past weekend. My fiance complained about the reunion and told me he could not attend. I told him that it would mean a lot to me and he could meet more of my relatives.
On the day of the reunion, he tells me that he will meet me there. I get to the reunion and I see him sitting in his car. He was wearing a baseball hat and seemed in a good mood.
While we were chatting with family members, my aunt asked him what he did for a living and he answered. I started to see something off but kept my mouth shut.
When I got home, I saw my fiance sitting on the couch playing a video game. I asked if he had a good time at the reunion and he told me he did.
I then asked him to tell me my cousin’s name. He thought about it for a long minute and then started laughing.
He told me that his twin brother attended the reunion and he was dropped off by a friend. I was so angry with him that I asked him to leave so I could think everything through.
He went to stay with a friend and I’m still so devastated that he would pull this kind of prank on me.
My parents are very upset with him and are being very supportive. He thinks I’m being dramatic and there was no harm in what he did.
AITJ for being angry with my fiance over the prank he pulled?”
32. AITJ For Ordering Sushi Only For Myself?
“My (40F) partner (40M) does most of the cooking. I do other tasks around the house, like cleaning the bathrooms and fixing stuff.
We do not always eat together/the same meal, because we work different hours and we enjoy the freedom of eating what we want. So sometimes he’ll make cauliflower for one (his fav, but I’m not a fan) and I’ll make a salad.
Tonight he wanted to make mac ‘n cheese for the both of us.
Then we have this text convo:
ME: Yum! We’re out of cheese – can you get some on your way home?
HIM: We still have cheese in the fridge.
ME: Nope. I checked and we’re out.
HIM: Are you sure?
(I was working from home, which he knew, and physically checking the fridge – I wasn’t just guessing that we were out.
Hence saying I CHECKED.)
He does this All. The. Time. He’s not a mansplainer, but he is very insecure (I guess) & he’s 100% a manquestioner. I dislike it because 1. Please just believe what I tell you, 2. All these questions are making me double-guess myself. I’ve straight-up told him that – like, we had that discussion MANY times.
This time, rather than assure him with ‘Yes, I’m sure,’ I just stopped replying. If he thinks we have some imaginary cheese leftover in the fridge, fine he can use that for the MnC. Meanwhile, I KNOW we’re out of cheese so – and here’s where I may have been the jerk – I place an order for sushi.
For one.
Partner gets home, and checks the fridge – surprise, we’re out of cheese! He proposes to make noodles instead & I tell him to go ahead and cook for one because I’ll eat something else. He makes the noodles, sits down to eat & the delivery guy shows up with my sushi.
My partner gets angry (well, more annoyed than angry) because 1. He likes sushi too. That’s NOT the reason I picked sushi (I would have gotten Chinese if I just wanted to eat his all-time favorite meal alone), but it is usually something we order together. 2. Delivery times in our city are ridiculously long, so he knows I placed that order well before he came home and made noodles.
AITJ? I could have ordered sushi for 2 & my partner would still have gotten the message about the incessant ‘Are you sure?’ AND enjoyed the sushi with me.”
31. AITJ For Rejecting My Dad's Apology?
“My (21M) parents (44M, 46F) got divorced when I was 7 because my mom had an affair, it was a difficult time for me because I barely understood what was going on but decided to stay with my dad and visit my mom on weekends.
My dad stayed single for two years until he found my stepmom, they married and moved in with us, she already had two kids (20M, 18F) from her previous relationship, I started losing my dad from that moment, I felt a little cast aside and dad tended to favor them over me all the time, like if I wanted a toy of MINE and they also wanted it, he would yell, ‘Just let them have it’ and he would also bully me, reminding me of my mom’s affair: ‘Your mom abandoned you’ (My mom didn’t abandon me, she would have me on weekends and pick me up from school every day).
At the age of 10, I was sick of it and decided to go to live with my mom (The custody agreement was 50/50, but she respected my wish until I decided to live full-time with her). My stepdad is great, just to let you know how close we are, he was the first person I came out to (which drove my mom and dad mad).
My dad asked to have me on weekends, I didn’t want to, because I hated his family but the court had the last say, I could never have my dad for me again if we went camping, hiking, or swimming, he would bring his step kids which I hated because he constantly favored them over me.
He missed many of my events and birthdays because ‘his family needed him’ (as he said). At the age of 15, I let him know that I’d stop going to his house because I hated being around his family, he acknowledged he has neglected me and changed for a while (like making the time to be just with me) then he just got back to where we started, he stood me up several times and at 17 he called me a brat because I refused to let his family be at my high school graduation.
Since then we’ve just texted, some phone calls and hang out alone a few times.
His wife divorced him this February, and her kids have no interest in spending time with him, he showed up at my house Monday with a 9k car to apologize because he acknowledges that he neglected me over the years and asked me to move in with him again, he was crying and said sorry but I told him to leave and get lost and also reminded him everything he missed and spoke.
He has been texting me every day since to reconcile and promises to never let anyone between us again.
My granny says he is my father and I should give him a second chance since he learned from his mistakes.
AITJ for saying what I said?”
30. AITJ For Wishing That My Family Wouldn't Ignore Me On My Birthday?
“I (24F) have a deceased uncle who died at the age of 42.
He was the nicest person ever with the sweetest heart. He was a kind soul and had a one-of-a-kind smile.
My fondest memory with him is when I was 6 and he took me and my sister to the theme park for my birthday. Tragically when I was 12 he caught pneumonia and he already had diabetes prior to this.
It was a struggle for him to balance his b***d pressure while dealing with pneumonia.
I visited him a week before my birthday and we talked about how my birthday was coming up. We talked about all of our memories and he asked me if I still remember my 6th birthday.
I said ‘Yes, of course I do.’
He told me he’d go to the theme park for me. I asked him what he meant by that and he just smiled and said you’ll see. On my birthday, he died. I cried my whole birthday, everyone did.
The next two years I spent my birthday crying and visiting his gravestone.
I would get mad at him. Asking him why he chose this day to let go and why God didn’t let us celebrate together one last time.
Well, every year on my birthday my family celebrates his life. I used to enjoy it but they started to forget about my birthday.
They stopped singing to me, they stopped wishing me happy birthday. The sweet 16 that was promised to me since 10 never happened because we threw a party for him.
I started to feel unnoticed. I was upset that my birthday had become a lasting memory of my uncle’s death date. I stopped coming out of my room during my birthday.
I sat in my room and talked to my uncle. I knew he would be upset with them for not celebrating me, too.
All I ever knew was crying faces on my birthday. And not happy ones. Last year I planned a birthday party for myself and invited them. When the day of my birthday came around they brought a poster of my uncle and hung it up by my picture.
I lost it. I asked them why couldn’t they have one day about me. Why they forgot about me. They call me insensitive and that to share this day with my uncle. I told them I have for years and just wanted this day to be about me. I ran out crying and received no comfort.
My sister hit me up, not to apologize but to remind me that my uncle died on my birthday and that it’s only right to pay respects. I argued that paying respects is one thing, but completely ignoring the day I was born and consuming it with death is another.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Being Angry At My Fiancé's Niece For Coming Into Our House?
“I (23F) am from a decent-sized city where crime is pretty high. When I was about 12 years old, someone broke into my family’s house while we were sleeping and it was extremely scary to experience. Now, as an adult, I have a firearm close while I am sleeping.
My fiancé (26M) and I have recently moved into the same neighborhood as my fiancé’s brother (38M), ‘Brian’. About 2 months ago, Brian and his 2 daughters stayed with us while his abusive ex was moving out. Brian and I get along pretty well and we had a conversation that resulted in me telling him I slept with a firearm close.
Fast forward 3 weeks later, (Brian is back in his own home) he calls my fiancé one night to ask if he could borrow something to which my fiancé said he doesn’t have one. The next morning at 6:30 am (my fiancé and I are both sleeping) I hear something in the hallway outside of our bedroom.
I turned to look and I see a silhouette of a person, immediately throwing me into a panic. I jumped out of bed and that’s when the silhouette spoke. It was Brian’s 11-year-old daughter asking about the item her dad wanted to borrow.
Now, mostly due to being panicked awake, I started yelling.
‘I can’t believe you thought it was okay to just walk into our house while we are sleeping!’ My yelling had woken up my fiancé and he was livid, just like me. He backed me up by saying ‘You can’t just walk into our house like this!’ Without saying anything, his niece walked back out of the house but about 5 minutes later, Brian calls.
Brian was flipping out on my fiancé asking ‘Why does your girl have to be a jerk and scream at my kid?!’ My fiancé didn’t entertain this and just hung up the phone.
Brian KNEW I slept by a firearm. I told my fiancé that yelling is a lot better than accidentally being severely hurt or worse.
I couldn’t go back to sleep as my anxiety was racing and I felt so uncomfortable knowing Brian thought it was perfectly fine to send his young child into our home while he knew we were sleeping.
I’ve told this to a few family members and friends and they said I shouldn’t have yelled but am I really the jerk here?
Yes, I understand the niece is young and probably didn’t understand why it was so wrong especially because she was just doing as her dad told her.”
28. AITJ For Making People Give Us A Dollar Every Time They Ask Us When We're Going To Have A Baby?
“My husband and I have been married for 6 years. Still don’t have kids (we want them but still not happening). Friends and family are causing us constant stress about having a baby soon but it’s obviously something we can’t control.
We only wished that they’d stop but to no avail.
So what I did was come up with an idea (stupid I know) and that is to have an empty jar and call it the ‘Pregnancy Jar’. I carry it with me in my bag whenever I’m with friends and family and every time someone asks about when my husband and I are gonna have a baby, I pull my jar out and ask them to drop a dollar in there for asking.
I’d get puzzled looks but they reach out for their pockets/wallets/purses and pull out a dollar and put it inside the jar. It actually worked because most of them stopped asking after 4 months.
Last week we had dinner at my parents’ house, My brother came back from his business trip that lasted a month and while we were eating he asked when I and my husband were going to have a kid.
My husband paused, I got up from the chair and made my way to where my brother was sitting with my jar in my hand and asked him to drop a dollar for the question he asked, he stared at me then laughed nervously asking if I was being serious.
Everyone was looking at us. He said no, he didn’t have to pay me but I told him he didn’t have to ask either so here we are!
I could tell he felt embarrassed he immediately reached out to his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and put a dollar in my jar.
I made my way back to my seat and sat down and resumed eating like nothing happened. It got awkward afterward. Mom pulled me into the kitchen later to tell me that I embarrassed my brother in front of his wife and family and said I should quit acting childish by running around with a jar demanding others to put a dollar in it, I told her they should quit asking then.
She went on about how they’re just worried for us since we are in our mid-30s and don’t have much time left if we want at least one healthy baby. I got upset and she started arguing. My husband and I left and we haven’t seen them in days, except I got a call from my sister basically siding with mom and the others saying I’m being childish.
So AITJ for this?
Edit:
- this has been going on for years but in the past year, it has gotten worse.
- I already told them about how I feel regarding this question, my husband doesn’t care much and says I should let it go too.
- They pay every time because it’s just a dollar, it won’t make me any richer or them any poorer.
- My husband and I spend the money on snacks to eat every night when watching tv or some toys for the dogs.”
27. AITJ For Having A Relationship With My Siblings And My Dad's Wife?
“My mom is a little on the slower side (should’ve never had kids slow because she doesn’t know how to be an adult) and the youngest of 9 kids so after college didn’t work out, she (30 years old at the time) stayed with my aunt to be a nanny for her triplet boys while my aunt and uncle worked. My aunt and uncle lived next door to my dad (50 years old at the time) (also a raging heavy drinker) and his family.
After a while of being a live-in nanny, my aunt said she’d pay for Mom to have an apartment so she can have some freedom outside of the nanny life. Being convenient, my dad also had my mom babysit his 5 kids as well bc my mom went to school to work in daycares so why not.
A couple of months into having this apartment, my aunt noticed my mom looks pregnant after 7 MONTHS. But my mom denied it until a doctor’s visit confirmed it. Then it came down to who’s the dad. Well after breaking my aunt’s trust, they made my mom move back in with them and while cleaning out her apartment, they found a journal full of ‘I love (John Doe)’ ‘Mrs. (John Doe)’ middle school crap that kids do, my aunt knew he was the dad.
And after skipping out on 2 paternity tests, after a quick threat to tell his wife, he showed up and we have a winner. He tells my mom he’ll pay child support, and moves his family away from my aunt and mom, and I never hear from him.
He kept me a secret for 6 years before his wife found a child support letter in the mail and I was kept from them by my mom’s side.
He passed away without so much as a birthday card but my mom was such a terrible mom that I dreamt of finding my other family like I seriously think CPS should’ve taken me and my maternal brothers. Thanks to social media, when I was 14, I did.
At 15, I flew out and spent my first Christmas with them.
Now we are super close and I love my siblings and my dad’s wife, but my aunt sees this as a betrayal. They hate when I go out to visit them but my paternal siblings have been such a blessing. My mom and dad are the ones that messed up.
My mom for sleeping with a married man and my dad for having an affair. My youngest paternal brother is 2.5 months younger than me because my dad knocked his wife up almost immediately after my mom. If anything his family are the victims and I don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to talk or see them.
I want them all to meet because my aunt and uncle knew my siblings as kids and now they’re all grown up. But my mom’s side seems incapable of growing up.”
26. AITJ For Not Allowing My Brother To Wear A Suit From A Different Brand At My Wedding?
“My wedding is coming up in July and my brother will be one of the groomsmen. We decided to have them rent navy blue suits from Men’s Warehouse.
My brother wore a navy blue suit to his own wedding. This was custom-made, out of Italian wool, and it’s beautiful. He is repeatedly insisting that he should be allowed to wear this suit because it’s ‘the same color’. I told him everyone else will be renting a tux from MW and so he will look different.
The suit rental costs $170. Now my mom is getting involved and calling me to ask him to be allowed to wear the suit. By the way, this isn’t a financial issue. He is an engineer and his wife is a psychologist. The suit rental will be $170. Plus all the Bridesmaids spent $150 on their dresses.
I also just think what you wore to your own wedding you shouldn’t wear to be IN someone else’s wedding. By the way, I’m his only sister.
Also at his wedding, he let one groomsman wear a different suit (the same color) and it was noticeable.
I just got off the phone with my mom and I’m shaking mad, I can’t believe how stubborn he is and I personally think he is being a humongous jerk for making me stress this much about it.
I told him no multiple times and he is STILL pushing. So now I’m like what the heck is going on here? Seems to me like my family has no respect for me or my decisions. I’m super insulted and I would never ever make this big of a deal to a bride before her wedding day, over something that seems completely inconsequential. I think it’s really rude to give someone this much grief just so that you can be ‘right.’
By the way, my fiance will be wearing black.”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mother-In-Law To Invite My Fiancé's Sister To Our Wedding?
“I (22F) have been with my fiancé (24M) for 6.5 years since we were 15 & 17. We get married this August. His family tree is a little complicated but necessary to understand a little about what’s going on.
MIL has 4 kids with 3 guys (not trying to make her sound bad).
Fiancé is the oldest and has never met his dad. SIL is second and my age, her parents shared custody and would visit Dad on holidays and summers. The youngest boys belong to FIL who also adopted my fiancé. SIL’s dad was abusive towards MIL and fiancé while they lived with him, her dad was always good to her though.
FIL is air force and got restationed to another state which is why visiting would only happen on school breaks. MIL & FIL we’re strict and conservative, SIL’s dad would let her do whatever she wants.
Right as fiancé and I started going out, SIL from dad’s place sent a letter to court basically saying how horrible MIL & FIL (mostly FIL) are towards her and that she wants to stay with her dad and requests emergency custody.
All of this was made up because she was allowed to do whatever she wanted with him and she was 15. She stays with her dad and obviously, MIL & FIL are at risk of losing my BILs due to accusations.
I am there to witness all of the emotional fallout my SIL left behind and I really helped younger boys through it (11 & 8 at the time) as kind of a surrogate sister almost?
While her actions didn’t get them removed she never once took her siblings into consideration.
MIL & SIL end up repairing relationships years down the road. My fiancé has forgiven her but has made it clear that he wants no relationship if she won’t a) admit it was all a lie & b) take responsibility for the pain she caused. She denies she did anything wrong and now the whole situation is kind of taboo to discuss.
Current issue: I was discussing the guest list with my MIL and made a comment ‘x, y & z will be there and I haven’t spoken with fiancé regarding if we are inviting SIL or not’. She immediately snapped back with ‘She’ll be there’ like we had no say in it.
I moved on because I didn’t want to cause an issue but she kept making comments like that and that she was ‘not going to exclude her’. I had enough and told her that it is not her job to ‘include’ her in the celebration of my fiancé and I’s relationship which SIL has never expressed interest in being a part of.
I told MIL that I have no issue with her coming but there needs to be a relationship with at least one of us first as SIL would be the only one at the wedding with no relationship with either of us.
MIL was very upset and will only communicate with me through my fiancé.
AITJ?
EDIT: My fiancé is neutral on it and as long as no drama is caused on the day of I don’t care if she’s there. The issue is that MIL keeps pushing it on us and making it seem like we never had a choice, to begin with.
I feel that my fiancé (who has no relationship with SIL) has the healthiest relationship with her because he’s the only one asking her to recognize her actions were wrong and then he will be ready for a relationship. MIL was just desperate to get her back in her life and ignored all past wrongs which is so unhealthy.”
24. AITJ For Getting Rid Of Lice By Shaving My Head?
“I (20f) have always had long hair growing up. When I was younger, I would dye it many colors and would straighten it or curl it causing my hair to get really damaged. I woke up one morning at my mom’s (I was spending the night) and my head was really itchy and it had been that way for a while.
I had my mom look and I had lice. My younger sister (15) had told me that because my hair was so damaged and that I had lice, to make it easier I should just shave my head because then it would be healthy AND it would be easier to get the lice out.
I told my mom about it and she said no and that she wasn’t gonna allow it. When she went to the store for the lice treatment, I and my sister got the scissors and tied up my hair, and started to cut it in lengths.
It was going fine and we soon got it really short.
When my mom came home she started yelling at me and telling me I was stupid. Because she was yelling at me so much I started to cry and tell her that I was sorry and to please just finish my hair and shave it to where it will look good.
After about 30 minutes she finally agreed and she got my dad’s clippers out and started to shave it. When we were done I went upstairs and my mom followed me and told me my dad said he couldn’t even look at me and I should be ashamed of doing what I did.
I held in my tears the whole time she treated my hair and then went to shower and I cried my eyes out in there.
When I got out I checked my phone and I had multiple messages from family members saying I was a jerk for being so selfish and that I’m dumb, etc. Everyone was mad at me for shaving my head and they were also mad at my sister for giving me the idea and helping me do it.
I don’t think I was in the wrong here, but I want other people’s opinions on this. So, AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Telling My Housemate She's Not Allowed On The Second Floor Without Permission?
“I’m a 27-year-old woman who owns a two-story, three-bedroom home. I got it after an unexpected death in the family but it’s so big that I don’t want to stay alone so I rented out one of the rooms to a friend (28F) for company more than a need for help with bills, I could manage them fine on my own if need be I just don’t like living alone.
My one condition though was that the second floor was my space alone and to not go up there without asking first unless of course there was say an emergency and they needed to use the bathroom up there as the one downstairs wasn’t working. The second floor only has my bedroom, the balcony of my room, the bathroom, my office/gaming room, and a closet so there is no real need to go up there anyway.
My friend’s bedroom, the kitchen, living room, bathroom, etc are all on the first floor. I’m prone to migraines so sometimes just need space and silence which if I have a floor to myself I’m more likely to get plus I just like the privacy of having a floor to myself while also having company in the house.
At first, everything was fine, she moved in and no problems happened but she began to go up to the second floor more and more, at first just going to my office to grab a game or a book to borrow which I wasn’t thrilled at but it was an in and out thing so no real problem, then she began to use my bathroom because the downstairs one only has a shower while I have a tub as well as a shower and sometimes she wants to take a bath.
I told her that was fine but to ask first and clean the bath afterward.
The final straw though was that today I found her using my balcony which you can only access through my bedroom. I came home from work and found her lounging up there with some wine, I asked her what she was doing and she said it was a nice day so she wanted to relax in the sun on the balcony.
I told her this was my private space and I wasn’t comfortable with her going through my room and how she wasn’t supposed to be on the 2nd floor without permission. I then pointed out we have a garden if she wants to relax in the sun. She protested this as my balcony has a better view then began to say my hangups about keeping the 2nd floor off limits is really weird and how all the space should be shared. This caused an argument and I made her leave my room and go back downstairs.
Is it so weird to want to keep this space to myself? It’s not like I’m blocking off any vital rooms.”
22. AITJ For Beating The Rude Guy In A Race?
“I’m (19F) 5’2 and 115 lbs autistic, and am going into a male-dominated field that you need to be fit to be in. I’ve always liked running and I find it therapeutic and I run with a 40 lbs weight vest.
In my college class we have team workouts and work together and sometimes compete. I’m not taken seriously because everyone is double my weight and over 5’10. My teachers are overprotective of me and try to be easy on me which I hate. There are only 2 guys in my class who really talk to me and are friendly.
Yesterday we had a competition, it was 50 push-ups, 30 burpees, 20 lunges and 1 lap around the lake.
For this competition, I was paired against J, J and I don’t get along he doesn’t believe that women should go into the field even though his mom is in the field and thinks I’m weak.
He is the hotshot of our class, thinking he is better than everyone in it.
Anyway, everyone was doing some bets and said J would easily beat me. He was talking trash, saying how he needs to be put with someone who can challenge him. I may not be the fastest but I have a high endurance.
So he ends up getting ahead of me during the competition, but he can’t run fast because he used all his energy in the beginning. So he was about 1/4 of the way around the lake when I start to run and easily catch up and pass him. By the time I make it to the finish line he is about halfway around the lake and I decide to show everyone up by running another lap and passing J again.
J was mad and yelled why did I do that and I made a fool of him. I just laughed and ignored him. Everyone besides my 2 friends and teachers said I was the jerk because I didn’t need to do a second lap and everyone saw me win. Now I’m regretting it because we didn’t know that a few high-ranking people were watching us and were impressed with me and not J.
So AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Address To My Uncle's Wife?
“I (21M) am a final year college student and I have been mostly busy with my B.Sc. project this year. I have a relationship with my Uncle’s family that came as a result of my staying there during my gap year before uni. In my early years in uni, I spent 4 of 5 weekends in his home, my school is 1hr drive away from his place.
My uncle’s wife used to be caring before she had her own kids but became all about her kids after she had them. I get served the worst part of the food, and I wasn’t allowed to watch TV. Each weekend I went there, I did dishes and cleaned the whole house, I was basically the housekeeper.
In my third year, I decided to stop going there, and I’ve had issues with her since then. She gaslights me and says I don’t care about my cousins and I should relate with her family because they’re the closest family member to me. Early this year, she gaslighted me into coming around to babysit.
About two weeks ago, she called me on a Tuesday and demanded that I come to her house the next day since my school is on a break. I told her I couldn’t because I needed to catch up on my project and attend to other things that need my attention.
She said that I’d been using my project as an excuse ever since for not coming to her house and if I don’t want to come, I should just own it. I told her I still couldn’t come. She asked me to send my house address, which she has never asked for in my four years in school.
I said ok, and we ended the call. Two days later she sent a text saying she’d not gotten my address. I sent one back asking politely why she needed my house address. She didn’t send a reply and instead reported me to everybody, 85% of my family thinks I’m the jerk.
AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Not Being Comfortable Hanging Out With My Friend's Sister?
“I am Japanese and my parents are both immigrants. They’re fairly traditional, so we speak Japanese at home and there’s a lot of Japanese culture-related stuff around the house.
I (17m) am friends with a girl, Sarah, and I only met her this year. She came to my house to hang out a few weeks ago and we’re fairly good friends.
A few times, she brought her younger sister Jas (15f) along. They’re pretty close and I haven’t really talked to Jas that much. When my friends and I are talking, she’s just kind of in the corner. We try to include her anyways, though.
Jas is very into anime and manga, your typical fujoshi stuff.
I don’t care what she reads/watches in her free time but the problem starts when she keeps bringing up the fact that I’m Japanese to every conversation, and each interaction just gets weirder and weirder. Whenever I talk to my parents in Japanese she automatically shouts some random word she learned from anime like ‘BAKA’ or something.
Very awkward, but it’s not harming anyone yet, so I just shrug it off.
It only becomes uncomfortable when she starts comparing my brother (22m) and me to a popular anime ship that she likes. She makes comments like ‘You guys would be so cute together’ and stuff and honestly it’s grossing me out.
I asked Jas if she could stop but she just shrugged and basically ignored me.
It got just got too much that I told Sarah that if Jas was going to hang out with us, ‘us’ wouldn’t include me. Sarah told me that I was just overreacting over a few comments and that Jas wasn’t hurting anyone.
I’ve apparently upset Jas with that and she’s ‘inconsolable’ (which, to be honest, I don’t believe because she barely talks to me or anyone in the group anyways).
AITJ? I think 15 is old enough to know that these kinds of comments are weird and that I’m not overreacting but I could be wrong.”
19. AITJ For Refusing To Donate My Shirt?
“I (18f) recently bought a shirt that has a little bit of crop to it. Nothing too scandalous, but if I reach up a little bit of stomach shows. I decided to wear it today to a friend’s meet-up.
My mom was hitching a ride with me. I was going to drop her off at the spa while my friends and I went shopping.
I was starting up my car when my mom points at my shirt and goes ‘No. Way too revealing. Go change.’ I was kinda iffed out because my mom was just on my back about being late. I told her we needed to go and I wouldn’t change because there was nothing wrong with my outfit.
She yelled at me saying there was, ‘My stomach was too distracting.’ I told her:
1: I, an adult, am only showing a bit of stomach.
2: I buy all my clothes with my own money. My mom shouldn’t get a say in what I can and can’t wear.
3: I am a woman, not a distraction. I shouldn’t be restricted on what I wear just because people can’t keep it in their pants.
My mom blows up, saying I need to donate my ‘disgusting’ shirt as soon as possible. I told her no. She walked out of my car, made her way to my door, and tried to drag me out.
I closed my door on her while she cursed me out. I closed the passenger door and locked the car.
She started cursing me out, calling me a ‘disrespectful jerk,’ etc. while banging on my window. I texted her and said she can’t disrespect me and act entitled to a free ride at the same time.
I drove off and met up with my friends like normal.
When I got home, my mom went ballistic, saying I caused her to miss her nail appointment. (Her car is currently in the shop and I don’t let anyone drive my car because my brother wrecked my old one.
I bought it with my own money.) I told her that she shouldn’t have caused such a huge argument over a shirt.
(by the way, the spa has free cancellation and gives full refunds if you miss your appointment.)
AITJ for refusing to donate my shirt and leaving my mom at home?”
18. AITJ For Not Being Able To Save My Significant Other's Game File?
“My (M23) significant other (F21) is a very obsessed Sims player. She plays it constantly and has bought almost all the downloadable content. She has been playing on one save file for about 2 years now. Now I love her and support this, I have spent many nights just talking and watching her play and have bought her some of the downloadable content, so I have no problem with that and wouldn’t do it to annoy her or anything.
She plays it on her laptop and recently her brother (M19) used her laptop because he was broke and he needed to do some schoolwork. When she got her laptop back, I don’t know what he did but her laptop very clearly was now filled with bugs. There were several new files she never downloaded on there and when I opened task manager a bunch of programs with suspicious names were running in the background.
She tried to play her game and whatever bug was on there seemed to have corrupted her game too because it wouldn’t run and when it did it was broken and pretty much unusable.
I’m not good at programming or computer stuff at all but after a while, I seemed to get all the bug files off, but even then her sims file was still pretty much messed up.
No matter what I did that save file was almost unusable. The gameplay was laggy to the point of being like 1 frame a minute and generally crashed constantly. The rest of her game was fine though, just that save.
After like 2 weeks of trying and nothing working I just decided it was unsalvageable.
I told her this and deleted her messed up save file. She went into a crying fit about how I didn’t ‘try hard enough’ and ‘ruined everything and 2 years of hard work’ even though I told her nothing could fix it.
She cried and sulked all night and won’t talk to me and is acting like I ruined her life.
My question is was I a jerk for doing this? I did try my best to fix it but it just didn’t work.”
17. AITJ For Telling My Best Friend She Needs To Find Out Her Fiance's True Intentions?
“I (24f) have been best friends with Leila (24f) since we were in elementary. She has been going out with this arrogant frat boy Steven (26), for the last five years and he’s awful.
He’s proposed to her, but he hasn’t had a hand in planning since day one and has shot down every decision she’s made. Her future MIL is a BIG JERK as well and also controlling.
Leila’s family is well off and they’re paying for everything.
Her grandparents were even going to purchase them a house once they get married.
Steven is materialistic and everything is about money. He often brags about how much money he has (none). That he’s marrying into money and that they won’t have to work if they don’t want to.
(Not true but he’s aware of a large monetary gift her parents are going to give HER. Well, they have given it to her, but she hasn’t told him.) His running his mouth about their finances alone has caused some tension in her family once word got back to them.
Her father even threatened to pull the plug on the wedding.
His parents are paying for the honeymoon. She wants to go somewhere exotic and beautiful. He proposed Vegas. She found out that he was going to meet some friends there and they were going to hit the casinos. They had a big argument about it, her future MIL agreed with her son and pointed out that they were the ones paying, so it gave her son an advantage.
That the honeymoon is not all about her, but something that he wants to do too. Leila comes over upset and asked for input from me and another friend. She knows I don’t like Steven. I’ve never hidden the fact of how I felt about him and the way that he treats her.
While one friend suggested that the families sit down and talk, I’m the jerkish friend that suggested she tell him that her family has gone broke and that they are going to have to pay for their wedding and house, to see his true intentions. On a civil note, I also suggested that she postpone the wedding until they were on the right page or walk away from the relationship.
She disagreed.
Leila does the jerkish thing I suggested, and he calls off the wedding. I’m now being blamed for ruining her marriage. That I should have never told her such a thing, because she was under a lot of stress and wasn’t thinking clearly. Her father is on my side, while her mother claims I’m in the wrong and that I need to fix it.
I was even called jealous by some of our friends. Leila’s too upset to even talk to me. I didn’t make her do it, but AITJ for suggesting she does it?”
16. AITJ For Filing A Complaint Against A State Trooper?
“My friend and I (both 22 & female) went on a day trip about 2 weeks ago. My 6-month-old baby went with us as well.
On our way home that evening we popped a tire. We pulled over on the side of the road and called Triple A. (LOL, we have since learned how to change a tire as we felt so dumb).
While we were waiting a trooper pulled over to see if everything was okay, he ended up changing the tire for us and we thanked him.
He then followed us as we were leaving for roughly 10 minutes to make sure we were good on the donut he put on for us, he waved us goodbye when he turned off on his exit.
Later that evening we each got a notification that he had requested to follow us on social media.
Neither of us thought anything of it, although it was weird because neither of us told him our names. I did however tell him my husband’s name, as my husband is a sheriff’s deputy in my teensy town. So I’m assuming he either found our socials by looking up my husband, or by running my plates and finding out my name.
Either way, I did not think anything of it.
Current issue: he messaged me 2 nights ago and wanted to know how I was doing, and asked about my car and myself. I instantly thought it was a red flag because like… that’s weird. Anyways he started hitting on me, & I asked him if he was married, he admitted to me that he was but then said it did not matter as I was a M**F and that that put me in an elite category.
His words. I then reminded him that I was married and I didn’t think either my husband or his wife would appreciate him messaging me. He then tried to backtrack and told me that he was not meaning anything by it, but that he remembered how his wife was after she had her baby and he just wanted to make sure I was handling postpartum well and he was hoping he could boost my confidence.
All of this put a bad taste in my mouth and made me extremely uncomfortable that he was a State Trooper that had helped me and then messaged me to hook up basically.
This also REALLY bothered my husband as it put a negative light on cops for single women.
I told him that if not for knowing him, I would now be extremely uncomfortable being a single female near a male cop. What if this was way bigger and he does this to lots of women? What if he offers ‘favors’ for ‘favors’?
Anyways, I’m wondering if I am the jerk because my husband is currently reporting him.
He has filed a complaint and spoken with his lieutenant. They are looking into it and deciding on the action they are going to take as his punishment.
I’m worried he will get fired. His social media shows he has 3 kids. They look young. I’m worried he will get fired and it’s my fault.
AITJ? Did I do the right thing?”
15. AITJ For Kicking My Maid Of Honor Out Of My Wedding For Spilling Wine On My Niece's Dress?
“I (28f) recently got married to my husband (31m). It was a big wedding and it was amazing. My best friend L (27f) was my maid of honor and she helped with all of my wedding plans. She helped me make my wedding what it was and I was extremely grateful.
I decided to let my bridesmaids pick out their own dresses I just gave them a colour scheme to match. The problem came when my niece (14f) came to the wedding in the same dress as L. I noticed and found it funny as they both had the same hair color and my niece looked like a mini L.
The dress didn’t look that much like a bridesmaid dress and it looked amazing on both of them. L pulled me aside and started ranting about how my ‘bratty’ teen niece came in the same dress as her. I brushed it off and said that the dress doesn’t really scream bridesmaid so it’s not like she wore a full ballgown.
L then said that she needs to change her dress. I asked why and she said that she looks better in it and that wearing it is gonna take away from her shine. I then told her that it shouldn’t be her shine, it’s my wedding and if she’s wearing that dress then I’m not gonna be the one to make her change.
We moved on from it until L’s mother came and screamed at me for ‘ruining her baby’s day’. I said it’s not her day and if they both carried on like this they would be removed from the wedding. She said fine and walked away. Not even minutes later my niece came to me crying because L’s mother spilled red wine on her dress.
I tried my best to get it off but it was no use, I had a couple of dresses in my car for if any of my bridesmaids had an issue with theirs and luckily one fit her nicely. She thanked me and went back to the party.
I went to L’s mother and brought her aside and yelled at her.
She told me that she didn’t want to but L told her to. I said I didn’t believe her and told her to leave my wedding straight away. I then went to L and told her what her mother said. She then told me that she did tell her mum to spill the wine because she knew I had spare dresses in the car so it wouldn’t matter.
I told her to leave and told her I needed some time away from her. She refused to so I ended up having to practically push her out of the venue.
She and her mother have been sending me horrible texts and I don’t know whether I did the right thing by kicking them out.
Am I the jerk?”
14. AITJ For Not Letting Them Know That I Can Understand Them?
“I (F20) am from South Asia and moved to the States at the beginning of my teenage years. I speak both my native tongue and English fluently. I also currently have only American citizenship as I didn’t apply for dual citizenship yet. So on to the story:
I’m visiting my home country for a few weeks and got a wedding invitation from a distant relative. The wedding is taking place in a quite rural area away from the cities. Desi weddings usually include various events which go on for days so I was asked to stay there for a week.
All cool by me since I’m on vacation anyway.
I don’t know most of the people here but they are very welcoming. A lot of other families from big cities also came here to attend the wedding. I wasn’t officially introduced to everyone since people are busy with the wedding arrangements.
Yesterday morning when I was helping with the wedding chores, one girl came up to us and just looked at what we were doing for a while. She mumbled something like ‘What a ghetto fest’ in English. She confidently assumed none of us would understand as the rest were very elderly women from here.
She probably also assumed I am from this place. Can’t blame her cause I blended in perfectly. Now I didn’t say anything back to her.
Throughout the day she kept making snorty comments in broken English along with her sister about the food, people’s appearances, and whatnot. Her sister came up to me and asked me in Bengali ‘Does your place have any bottled water or not?’ in a degrading manner.
I answered her in an even stronger local dialect that you can buy from a shop a few kilometers away.
Today my uncle introduced me to that family and said I’m visiting by myself all the way from America. The sisters’ faces looked all surprised and a bit embarrassed. They were talking among themselves ‘Did she tell everyone what we say?’ ‘What a snitch.’ They took me to a corner and demanded why didn’t I tell them about it earlier.
I replied, ‘I didn’t think it was necessary plus I enjoyed hearing you two babbling in broken English pretending to be posh.’
I don’t usually care if someone’s English is not fluent but they were pretending to be better than everyone else so I feel like it was funny.
Their mom later came up to me and said she heard what I did and it was a very jerkish thing to do. AITJ here for not disclosing my identity and enjoying their stupidity?”
13. AITJ For Asking My Friend For Gas Money?
“I (19F) have a friend (19F). My friend cannot drive because of medical issues, and her family refuses to drive her around a lot of the time.
They aren’t sensitive to her medical issues and push her to get a license, even though it would not be safe for her to drive. Because of this, I’ve become her main friend driving her around for errands and stuff like that. This isn’t the issue for me, it’s when she asks to go on drives for fun.
So here’s the story. Last week we went to the bank. She mentioned having around 2000 dollars in the bank. This comes into play later. She says she’ll give me gas money for driving her around town. After I drop her off at home, I text her and ask for 15 dollars.
I figured it was reasonable since 15 dollars gives me about a quarter tank.
I also mentioned in this text a day about a month ago where I drove her around for a while, and ended up using about half a tank of gas. From what I remember, she said she would give me gas money that day but never did.
She said she had already Venmoed me 10, and thought she had paid me for that day. We both have a bad memory so I just said okay and decided to drop it.
A couple of days later, we were hanging out and she brought up gas money. She said she felt like I was using her because I knew she had money and then I asked for gas money.
For context, I have never asked for gas money before because her medical issues don’t allow her to work a job. So yes, I did ask because I knew she had the money and I felt like I deserved it since I drive her around so much. She said from now on, since she needs to move out she will only be giving me 5 dollars.
With the current gas prices in my area, that would give me a gallon of gas. I said fine and moved on.
The same day, I took her out to go shopping and go out for dinner. I went to take her back home, and then she asked to go for a drive since she didn’t want to go home yet.
So we went for a drive. And drove around for about an hour and a half.
The next morning she Venmoed me 5 dollars and said she wouldn’t Venmo me more because we picked up other friends during this drive. I said fine, but the more I think about it, the more unfair I feel it is.
She has the nerve to say I’m using her when I drive her around for an hour and a half no questions asked. Take her out to run errands whenever I can. I feel like I’m a yes-girl for her, and I’m really tired of it. I filled up my car 4 days ago and I’m already at a half tank because of it.
So I texted her today and told her I felt it was really insensitive of her to accuse me of using her, and that it was fine if she didn’t give me gas money anymore, but I would no longer be taking her on drives anymore.
I’ve always had a hard time drawing boundaries, especially with this friend because they’re so sensitive.
But it’s costing me way too much to drive her around for an hour or two once a week. And I feel underappreciated and it feels very hypocritical. So AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Going Off At My Roommate Because Of Her Comments About My Job?
“I (21F) recently got a job at Hooters and my roommate Ivy has started making extremely passive-aggressive comments about it.
I just started the job two months ago and ever since I started my roommate will not let up. We are both college students and both work in order to pay rent so I decided that I would try a hand at Hooters because I have heard about how much you can make, and so far it’s all been true.
I know some people have had really bad experiences but I adore all of my coworkers and have a very healthy work environment.
Onto the issue, Ivy will make the rudest comments when I am about to leave or come home. She’ll make offensive jokes, say I am making women’s lives harder by enforcing standards, and make comments around the idea that I am losing ‘worth’.
Every time I bite back she always gets defensive and says that I don’t know how to take a joke.
This all blew up over the weekend. We invited all of our friends and partners over to our apartment. They all got there at 8 and my shift ended at 10 so I was going to be late no matter what.
When I walked in the door Ivy pointed at me and said ‘This is what I was talking about! The uniform is so demeaning!’ and I don’t know if it was the stress of everything but I just snapped. I told her to shut up and that if she was going to make her trashy comments at least do it in private.
She got really sulky and said I was proving her point that I can’t take a joke. Most of our friends took my side but I want an unbiased opinion. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Pointing Out My Wife's Favoritism Toward Our Son?
“I’ve been with my wife for over 20 years. She had 2 daughters from her previous marriage, and we also have a son together.
My wife has always insisted that I stay out of the parenting – when the girls were young I tried to take them on a walk without her and she was furious and since then, I’ve never tried to be involved. I’m the breadwinner and she’s a stay-at-home mom.
It’s come to my attention that my wife plays favorites with our family, and doesn’t actually treat her two daughters the same as our son.
We have recently fallen out about it and she has told me that she is the parent and knows what she’s doing, and I should stay out of it. So I want to ask AITJ for noticing these things and pointing them out. I’ve just realized that the girls are feeling quite neglected. All three children are now adults (all in their 20s).
We take my son on vacations and don’t invite my daughters at all.
My wife is telling the daughters to spend time with their friends over Christmas, rather than come home.
My wife insisted my son needed a car so we bought him one, but when her daughters needed cars she was silent (our financial position has always been the same).
She then lied to the daughters and said this was a loan to the son.
She cooks foods the daughters don’t like, and just says ‘tough’, whereas makes a special dinner every night for my son.
She stirs trouble between the siblings and pits them against one another.
She plays favorites and pretends to be each of their best friends, but then gossips behind their backs with the other siblings.
She seems to sabotage the daughters by not giving them the correct instructions for something, then waiting for them to come to her crying as they were unable to do something (but the reason they couldn’t do it is because of insufficient instructions!).
AITJ for pointing out that these things aren’t really what family is all about?
I’ve only just noticed this is all going on, and she’s telling me to stay out of it. It’s causing tension between us. AITJ here?”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Reconnect With My Family So They Could Meet My Baby?
“I had my son 2 months ago. My family hasn’t seen him yet. I’m refusing to let them. They’re calling me a jerk for depriving them of their first grandchild and depriving my son of a loving set of grandparents.
I’m the oldest of 3 (f30, f28 and m20). When I was 25 a guy from college asked me out. I declined because I wasn’t interested. We stayed friendly even though he was very cold towards me afterward.
At one party about a year later, I had my sister with me.
That’s where she met him. She knew who he was already but this was the first time they met. They started going out shortly afterward. It was when my sister changed towards me. She avoided me especially when her significant other then fiancé and then husband was around. I was never invited to their parties and they never attended mine.
When she got married I wasn’t invited (to be fair, she had a very small wedding). I tried to reach out to her and tell her that I missed her and that I wanted her in my life but I found out later that she was worried her now husband still had feelings for me.
My parents didn’t only stay out of it but it became more and more obvious that they chose her. It broke my heart and I tried many times to show them that this was hurting me. Anyway, I was excluded gradually from everything. When I got married last summer, I sent invitations to everyone but only my brother showed up from my immediate family.
My sister’s husband turned 30 and had a big party the same weekend. My parents chose that party. I basically washed my hands and started to live like I didn’t have a family save for my little bro. I stopped completely reaching out and they never contacted me either.
They didn’t even know I was pregnant until they saw pictures of my son on social media.
Now I have my son my family wants a relationship again. My mom is calling and crying first to me now to everyone else calling me a jerk and cold-hearted. When I confronted her about favoritism she denied it and told me it was all in my head.
That my sister is sensitive and that they kinda understood where she came from with her husband’s situation but that they never favored her over me.
Yeah right.
Edit: my sister lives next door to my parents and that’s why I was being excluded often.”
9. AITJ For Getting A Babysitter For My Niece?
“I (F24) am an aunt to my 1-year-old niece Ava.
My sister and BIL live close to me so I babysit for them sometimes. They don’t pay me but I’m happy to do it anyway.
On Friday was their anniversary and they asked me 3 weeks in advance if I could babysit, I provisionally agreed because I had nothing else planned. My plans changed however when some of my old college friends told me they were stopping by my town on Friday.
I haven’t seen them in nearly 3 years and really wanted to see them.
I gave my sister 5 days’ notice that I could no longer babysit on Friday and that she should make other arrangements. She didn’t respond to the text, but she read it, so I assumed it was OK.
On Friday however, my sister stopped by my house with Ava. I was confused and asked why she was here, she told me she was leaving Ava with me as originally planned. I said again I was busy, and she replied that family is more important than my ‘silly college friends’ and I should step up to my responsibility as an aunt.
Before I could protest, she bolted back to the car where BIL was and they drove off, leaving Ava with me. I tried to call her after she left but she had her phone off and none of my calls went through.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t leave Ava alone but I also didn’t want to cancel my plans.
There are no other family members who live near me – however, I do have a friend, Jade, who lives near me. She is good with kids and does babysitting as a side hustle. I called her and explained the situation, even offering to pay her to look after Ava, but she was understanding and said she’d do it for free.
I thanked her profusely and dropped Ava off.
I texted my sister to say I’d left Ava with Jade and to collect her from her house. It’s relevant to the story that neither sister nor Ava knows Jade personally. My sister didn’t respond immediately but after about 2 hours she started spamming my phone.
I turned my phone off, as I was already out by that point anyway.
They picked up Ava later that evening and she was perfectly happy, however, my sister and BIL are furious at me for ‘dumping Ava with a stranger’ (even though they know Jade is a trusted friend of mine.) They accused me of endangering my own niece.
Many other family members have sided with them and I’ve been getting angry texts all weekend.
I really don’t know what to think, I felt like I acted as best I could given the circumstances.
AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Refusing To Help Out My Mom?
“I (f23) have had the unfortunate circumstances to end up with a crappy stepdad.
Dad died at age 9 from cancer and I was mistreated by my mother’s previous ex. Her current husband, my stepdad, has been around since I was 12.
Through childhood, he would verbally abuse me, and convert my handicapped brother to tease me. He didn’t want to care for my brother so he left that up to my mother and me.
He would come home and sit on the couch after work and expect food on the table by 5:00 pm.
My mother was no saint in this when I was a kid. She wouldn’t defend me in most arguments growing up.
I moved out at 18 for college in 2017 and met the love of my life in a mutual discord.
We moved in together in December 2021 after I finished college.
On August 24, 2022, I got a phone call at 6 am from my mother, crying and saying she was in the ambulance for some intense pain in her torso. I woke my significant other up and we raced to my mom’s house (1.5 hours away) so I could watch my brother.
My brother is very capable of taking care of himself, my parents just don’t want him to.
She ended up staying in the hospital for two days, and during that time my stepdad would come home and order me around (in front of my SO) to do things around the house my mom would do.
I obliged because it would help my mom.
Those two days were the worst in my life. He would insult me in my choices to live with my SO and not move home, not getting a job in a year in my field, etc etc. He told me to expect to quit my part-time job and come live at home for a month to help take care of my brother.
I argued with him that I’m an adult and I have things I have to do now and I don’t live at home anymore. He brushed it off and went about the day.
On the second day when she came home, I told her that I wouldn’t be doing this again.
She seemed to kinda understand that.
Today, I get a call at 9 pm saying that my mom is in the hospital again. I put my foot down and said I’m not coming down to take care of my brother, and he said that he can take care of himself besides lifting himself into a chair.
I blocked my stepdad’s number and my mom called me sobbing on the phone because I didn’t want to help, and my stepdad behind her calling me a jerk.
I told her my rules and hung up. She then sent a few texts trying to guilt me into coming home.
I told her that my grandpa is 25 minutes away and he could watch my brother. She kept making excuses for that and even turned my grandpa against me to bait me into coming home. I asked her if she looked into any home care person to help, but she deflected the question.
It’s really frustrating because I do not want to regress back to my childhood when I finally have freedom in my adulthood.
So, AITJ for finally putting my foot down?”
7. AITJ For Telling My Sister That Her Engagement Ring Isn't Worth Much?
“I (F26) have a wife Katie (F26).
I have a younger sister Lydia (F22) who got engaged to her fiancé Seth (M24) around a month ago.
Seth’s family is pretty well-off, his parents both work in the business sector and can afford a very lavish lifestyle. Although Seth has a decent job, his parents send him funds regularly.
He proposed to Lydia with a ring that they both constantly brag about, bragging about how expensive it is.
Seth claims the ring is worth about $50k.
Katie is a jeweler and has been one for a long time, so Lydia asked if she could clean and polish the ring as a favor. Katie agreed. She told me later in private that the ring is made of cheap materials, and is worth no more than $30.
After a long conversation, we decided it would be best if I told Lydia.
I talked to Lydia in private and explained to her as gently as possible that Katie had a good look at the ring and that it is definitely not worth the amount that Seth said it was.
Lydia was shocked. She said Seth must have been scammed by whoever he bought the ring off of.
Lydia later talked to Seth. I wasn’t there for the conversation but apparently Seth knew the ring was cheap and was hoping Lydia wouldn’t find this out.
Lydia ended up calling off the engagement and is currently staying with a friend and not talking to Seth.
My parents are furious with me and Katie and are accusing us of sabotaging my sister’s relationship, and saying we should’ve minded our own business. They said there’s unfair pressure on men to spend a lot on rings and that we were being selfish.
A lot of our extended family also think we’re the villains, so I’m wondering if what we did was the right thing.
Edit: Lydia wanted the ring cleaned and polished as she had a photoshoot planned. Lydia isn’t mad at me or Katie for telling her, she’s just very upset that Seth lied to her.”
6. AITJ For Waiting For My Pregnant Wife To Ask Me To Do Things?
“My wife is 2 months pregnant with our first baby. We live in a small apartment and neither of us drives which I plan to change before the baby is born.
My dad is in the middle of cashing in one of his pensions to help pay for a deposit on a house for us. This is taking longer than expected but I’m extremely grateful for this, as there’s no other way we would have a house before the baby is born.
The process started in June and we expected it to take 2 months, it’s now November and we still don’t have an exact date for when he would be able to give us the money (This is important). I’m not worried about it, my wife, on the other hand, is.
She is Korean and we live together in England as I am English.
She on multiple occasions has stated she wants to go back to Korea for a few months as she doesn’t think we’ll have a house and believes her mother can look after her better than I can. If she was to go back to Korea, she would be living in a smaller apartment with her mother and sister.
Admittedly, I have a higher tolerance when it comes to chores. If my wife asks me to clean the house, do laundry, do the dishes, give her a massage, etc I ALWAYS do it. I don’t complain, I don’t say no, I do it. My wife complains that I should do it without her needing to ask.
She’s pregnant, I can’t argue back.
The biggest complaint she has is that I don’t cook for her. I’m not a cook, I don’t like to cook, I think when I do make food it’s not very good and I don’t tend to cook often. Ready meals and delivery is my go-to.
Again, if my wife wants takeout, I order and don’t complain or say no.
The previous times I have tried cooking meals (before she was pregnant) usually ended in her not eating what I cooked because she didn’t like it. I’ve also tried making a few meals whilst she’s been pregnant with mixed success.
I will always ask her what she wants to eat since I’m not experienced and know there’s a high chance she won’t eat, so at least if she tells me what she wants, I can try and make it. She complains that I should just be making something for her without needing to ask, or waiting until she’s hungry and that I should just research meals that are good for pregnancy.
With her mood and taste changing constantly, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
She makes me feel guilty by tagging me in posts of ‘good husbands’ doing stuff for their wives whilst pregnant, and also comparing us to her friends as they go out and do stuff whilst we’re stuck at home.
I’m trying to save for our future house and car, whereas all of her friends have been together longer and already have the things we want. It makes me feel horrible when she calls me a bad husband, or that she wants to leave because she thinks her mother can look after her better.
I even invited her mother and sister to stay with us over Christmas for 3 weeks and paid for their plane tickets…
Yes, she tells me what to do. But I do it every time. AITJ for not doing things before she asks?”
5. AITJ For Yelling At A Friend During A Party And Kicking Her Out Of The House?
“My (33f) group of friends included Patty and Selma.
We used to live together in college and for a bit after. Selma (35f) is eternally unhappily single. Patty (33f) is a complete problem-stirrer.
We were on a weekend away once (5 of us) and we had a stupid bet going on how many numbers we could get in a bar.
Patty, being the stirrer that she is, suggests the winner gets a ‘hall pass’ with one of the others’ partners. I say haha, no, 20 quid per person like we always do.
Selma wins the bet (because Patty roped everyone into helping her), and says she chooses my then-partner now husband/father-of-my-unborn child.
I try to give her 20 pounds but she won’t accept it. I said no, I didn’t accept that bet.
From then on they won’t let it go. Not super heavy, but keeps getting brought up a few times a year. Selma takes every opportunity to sit next to my partner and Patty throws digs at me whenever they are alone together.
Hubs and I get married and I let them know I consider this the end, and anyone who brings it up at the wedding is getting kicked out.
About a fortnight ago my parents were hosting their normal Christmas party. I took a break, because… I’m pregnant. When I came downstairs, Patty came up to me and says it’s a good thing I came back because Selma was getting ready to use her hall pass since I was gone so long.
I saw red and basically screamed at her to get out of my parents’ house and that I was sick of her nonsense. We argued and she left. The party kind of sucked after that.
My parents are a bit annoyed at me for causing a scene. My husband is on my side (he is aware of the bet, and thinks it’s gross/offensive).
My friend group thinks I’m a jerk because ‘it’s just a joke.’
So, AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Locking The Fridge To Regulate My Daughter's Binge-Eating?
“My daughter (T) was diagnosed with Anorexia at 14. Anorexia runs in the family as my wife (35F) has also suffered from it in the past (with her having minor relapses over the years), however, our other daughter (18F) and two sons have not.
During T’s recovery, she developed a binge eating disorder.
We have since seen many therapists and nutritionists try to support her and get her eating under control, but we haven’t had any success. T’s self-esteem has deteriorated and with little progress, it’s not getting better.
This is when I decided to lock the fridge. T has been in total despair recently about her weight gain and her inability to control her eating.
I thought that if all the food in the household was only given to her with supervision, it would help her not constantly binge eat.
However, when my wife came back from her business trip (3 days later), she was absolutely fuming. She said that it was the most careless thing a person could do to someone with an eating disorder and that I have alienated T.
She was also upset that I didn’t put anyone else in our family into consideration, especially her. I didn’t see how my locking the fridge could have a big effect, but she said it brought back bad memories for her and the negative connotations she used to have around food – and that my action could also potentially harm our other children’s relationship with food.
What she doesn’t understand though, is that for the past 3 days while she has been away, the system with T has worked. She has only eaten her allocated meals (suggested by her nutritionist), and despite her being a little bit more moody than usual, I haven’t seen any other real negative impacts.
I explained this to my wife, but she refused to even listen to what I had to say. I then called her selfish and said that she wasn’t allowing T a real chance at recovery because she was putting her own needs above T’s. I know my Wife blames herself for T’s bad relationship with food, and I have spent a lot of nights having to comfort her – however, I suggested that she could use this method and try to support T, and help her gain confidence.
She was really upset that I called her selfish, and said that I was making her choose between her keeping a good relationship with food and T – she stormed off after calling me a jerk and is refusing to talk to me. Our oldest daughter agrees with her and said I was definitely a jerk, as my Wife still, unfortunately, struggles with food some days – with our oldest being the most aware of it.
My wife is a wonderful mother and has ALWAYS hidden her eating issues from our children – whilst always displaying food in a positive light, but I think in this case her own history is affecting T’s chance at recovery. AITJ for locking the fridge, and then calling my wife selfish because she wasn’t open to the method?”
3. AITJ For Telling My Wife To Get A Part-Time Job?
“My (26m) wife (24f) and I have been married for 4 years. During those 4 years, she had the same job which requires her to be away Friday to Sunday, so she leaves early on Friday and returns about 4-5 pm on Sunday. Occasionally it would be leaving on Saturday and returning Sunday.
She also has to work some of the school/public holidays.
I work full-time and get just a bit above minimum wage and tips, so our bills are split between 60 (her) to 40 (me). While I find myself struggling with finances and having to borrow from the joint bank account, my wife never has this problem.
I know she is getting paid more than I do as she works for a high-profile client, but I’m not sure by how much more. She also wouldn’t tell me what exactly she is doing, all I know is that it is connected to her degree and it is 100% not illegal work in that industry.
The reason why she won’t tell me is because she signed the contract and it is highly confidential so she is not allowed to go into details.
She does chores around the house but doesn’t cook (she admits she is a bad cook and hates it), instead, she would order either those premade healthy meals you then heat up for yourself or takeaway.
When I’m home and she hasn’t ordered she will order for me too. So most of the day while I’m working she is either in our house chilling (watching TV, playing video games, reading, or exercising) or shopping or at the gym.
Over the years I got annoyed with this and have asked her to find another job so she has something to do while I’m working instead of wasting her day.
She told me she is not wasting her day but relaxing and her job pays her enough so she can afford the lifestyle she wants. I said it is not fair on me, as I come home tired while she has done nothing all day, to which she said I can find another job or a different job but I am a jerk for wanting her to find another job because I feel tired when coming back from my work when she has already got a job she loves.
After that, she won’t talk to me. I have spoken to my family and while my parents agree with me that she needs to work, my sisters took my wife’s side and called me a massive jerk.
Edit: I’m not saying she needs to quit the job she has. I’m saying she needs to find another job to do during her free time, could be a part-time one, since she doesn’t really do much during the day.”
2. AITJ For Wanting To Bond With My Daughter?
“My daughter (21F) was asked to move out of the house at 18 due to some conflict between her and her dad. I had no say in the decision, and my husband felt like we raised her well enough so she could take care of herself and he also didn’t pay her college tuition like he was supposed to.
She ended up postponing going to school for a year so she can save some funds.
She went to school on the other side of the country and she never reached out to any of us, and when she does it is because she wants something from us. Her dad was very upset and turned her away every time she asked us for something.
A few months ago she reached out about how she can’t make rent and that she really needed a place to stay for the summer, I talked to my husband and practically begged him to let her stay with us for the summer. We found out later on she lied to us about not being able to afford a place to live and that she was living with her significant other who’s more than twice her age and he kicked her out.
Her dad was very furious about the situation but we decided that we were going to let her stay for the summer.
Since she’s been back home, she got a job and she’s barely in the house. I have been trying so hard to start conversations with her, but she always finds a way to end them before we even start with ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I have a headache’.
I tried my best to get her involved in activities that she used to enjoy when she used to live with us, but she always turned them down.
A few days ago I tried asking her to go somewhere with me, but she ended up screaming at me, she asked me if I’m not catching the hint that she doesn’t want to be around me and she was only here because she has nowhere else to go.
She said that I should carry on with my life like I did when she wasn’t around, and that I am a jerk for invading her personal space. All I wanted was for us to have some mother/daughter time.
Was I the jerk in the situation?
Edit: She is not missing the opportunity to have an education, she took out some student loans and she is going to school.
Her dad is helping her out with tuition next semester and she’s still being indifferent toward us even when we’re making an effort to help her.”
1. AITJ For Not Wanting To Waste Food During My Bachelorette Weekend?
“I’m a super frugal person. I happily take advantage of free breakfast buffets, always make sure I get my quarter back at Aldi, and check the other carts to see if anyone left their quarter behind… you get the picture.
Not super proud of it.
My bachelorette party was a couple of weeks ago and I did feel bad that everyone was traveling to come, so outside of everyone pitching in for the house and bringing food and drinks and decorations, I decided I wanted to try and keep things cheap as possible.
It actually caused me a lot of anxiety. I insisted we eat at the house and cook our own meals instead of eating out.
We went to a winery and I packed a bag full of cheese and meats to bring with us so we wouldn’t have to buy snacks or food there.
The winery refused to let us bring it inside but said we could eat it in a specially designated area. We ended up having to leave it in the car while we did the tastings.
Anyway, afterward we were hungry and I asked someone to get the bag from the car.
My bridesmaid said she didn’t want that, she wanted to have a flatbread the winery sells. She and I got into a bit of an argument; I really didn’t want her to waste our food and I was trying to save us money! She eventually buckled, but I could tell she wasn’t happy with it.
She and other people looked similarly annoyed when I refused to leave the house until all the unused food was claimed versus wasting it and throwing it away.
It’s been a couple of weeks, and I mentioned this to my fiancé, who was horrified. He said I acted like a nightmare bride and why did it matter?
He said I owe her an apology.
AITJ?”
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